Thursday, December 27, 2007

What're some of your favorite gifts this year?

I haven't opened presents yet. In fact, Christmas is late this year. I have sent out some cards but still falling behind. We are working on our newsletter and will be mailing them out by January end if we are lucky.

Somehow, Christmas is not Christmas (to this quasi Christian with a smattering of pagan) without family (thankfully, my sil and the family are arriving today after being stalled in the bad weather in Iowa last night) and surprises, in the form of presents.

Of presents, what are your favorite this year?

M surprised me yesterday after work by driving me to this strip mall that is home to an REI, sports equipment, furniture shop and Men's Wearhouse! Which confused me greatly. Then we started walking toward the furniture store, and my mind started working overtime. He had 2 beds picked out and wanted me to decide on the one I want. You see, we've never owned a bed for more than a decade we've been together, and have always relied on box springs and that steel bed frame thingy. And for the last year, we've been sleeping on a mattress on the floor!

So, there, my Christmases are starting to come together -- M's thoughtful surprise, family rolling into town and their surprised looks on the faces, holiday newsletter in its infancy, a forecast that calls for 6 inches of snow, and good friends like you to share this seemingly dull observation with.

Because there is the so-called 12 days of Christmas, it is not too late for me to blog out a collective Happy Holidays to you all and a Prosperous New Year ahead.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jeremy: Right back atcha.
Jeremy: Oh yeah... money :) The bestest gift of all. That and the joy of living these days.
Melissa: Wow!!! I really can't top this! I love this blog. It shows the true spirit of Christmas. Family and truly being thankful for even the small things (not that a new bed is a small thing, because that would be an enormous thing to me too! You know what I'm trying to say, though!) Thanks for posting this. I hope that when you're able to celebrate with your family, that it will be a wonderful Christmas! Merry Christmas, Ling! And here's hoping that I'll be able to visit your way some time in 2008!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

New Hair Color

Can't be clearer than the subject line. I'm having a Japanese salon color my entire head this weekend -- those brown colors you see the Japanese gals with.

Hope I don't look too darn freaky. What do you think?

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Amber: I can't wait to see pictures!!! :)

Christina: I think it'll look awesome! You always have been very fashion forward!!!

pictures, pictures, we want pictures!

Jeremy: I think it'll look good--upload the pictures :)

Melissa: Oh wow!!! How excellent! A new hair color to herald in the new year! I can't wait to see a picture!!! You'll have to post one! I so don't think you'll look freaky! I think you're going to look awesome!

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Psychology of Sales

It's been a while since I posted anything. Apart from my laziness, I truly, truly want to share something substantial. I believe I found a topic that all of us can benefit from.

As most of you know, I finally landed a job, back in newspaper industry (bleah) but now in the opposite end of the spectrum -- SALES!

If I had known how fun sales can be, I would have jumped at it a long time ago. But I truly believe there's a time and place for everything. A long time ago, I did not have the maturity or life experience for me to handle this area. Now, having worked in various locations, dealing with more breeds of professionals, I have a better sense of people management, and a better moral compass as an individual.

Being an inside salesperson, where I am on the phone ALL DAY, I have gotten my share of karma, and in return, have become a better consumer myself.

Many of us have (to this day) picked up the phone to call our credit card/cable/phone hotline when we have a problem that were either created by them (wrong billing, bad service etc) or received inept service. What resulted is usually us bitching the bejesus out of them, and for the most part, hung up dissatisfied. Right? Right!

Remember the old adage: You can catch more flies with honey.

For the most part, the frontliners cannot resolve the most severe of situations. But you still need to secure the sympathy of the frontline to reach the boss.

Most thing can be negotiated to a point when it's a Win-Win. Business are out to make money, even at a discount, but they got to FEEL they are making a "sale" And you as a consumer, while most of the time, may not walk away with a FREE transaction, but in most cases, you could leave satisfied with a discount or some reconciliation - if you are patient and conciliatory.

Always ask for specials. There's a good chance there's always something available. Think about the credit card interest rates. They are not going to offer you that lower rate. But it exists.

While this may seem obvious to most of you, just remember not to raise your voice. And acknowledge how you want to keep your business with them -- that's honey to the sales force ears.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Jeremy: Amen. I've come to realize that you can get what you want better if you don't try to force yourself. It's a bit cunning, and a bit slick and clever (in that negative British connotation), but if you calmly explain the situation, instead of bitching someone out, the person on the other end will be more likely to help you.

Good to hear you blogging again. I need to do that myself soon.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

A sports fanatic. Me?

Nothing like moving to a major sports city to get the excitement and enthusiasm of of sports going.

I finally understand the basics of baseball. Go Cubs! Cubs slideshow with kickass Cubs anthem
Truth be told, I hate the song. So dated. But you just gotta listen for yourself. Hysterical!

I am religious about plopping down before the tube AND reminding Mark about the Bears game, and college football on Sat, Sun and Monday nights. Go Bears! Go Bama! Go Auburn! Go Gamecocks! Go Bulldogs! Boo to alllll California teams!

And most of all, I'll be sad when football and baseball seasons are over. I think that makes me a bona fide fan. And I'm considering buying some jerseys. Hmm. Urlacher or Hester?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Christina: another thing you and I have in common...between Gamecocks, Steelers, Panthers, Pitt, Penn State, Yankees, Red Sox, etc. etc. I have a busy time watching TV, reading sports sections and keeping up with ESPN Sportscenter. Then again, with everything going on, it also probably keeps me sane!

Jeremy: I used to not understand why people get so obsessed about sports or bother following them. Then I realized that we all need distractions. And a team to rally behind.

Me: Absolutely. A team with an IDENTITY and history, be it good or bad, at that. Especially in the doldrums of the impending winter, and the lazy homebodies like us!

Friday, September 21, 2007

Job lesson

I was anticipating a Monday start day for my job. Instead, I started midweek on Wednesday. At first, I was bummed.

But after my 3rd day training, I was really glad I didn't begin on a full work week. It's mentally draining trying to absorb so much, even for material that're quite familiar.

Oh, for those who aren't in the know, or with whom I didn't do a good job of staying in touch, I'm in recruitment inside sales. This means I'm tethered to a headset or having a sore neck from cradling a telephone receiver talking to customers placing help-wanted ads. If I do well enough, I may move on to outside sales, soliciting agencies. We'll see.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Back on the chaingang ... ooh, ahhh

Finally, after a week of putting off the other job offer, the one I want came through. How nervewracking. So, I'm back to work first thing Monday, my anniversary. So, that means no Jerry! for me. I'll settle for Cherry Garcia and a paycheck instead.

Oh, what am I doing? Sales, baby. Gonna work my way from inside sales to outside. I'm so excited yet scared. Never calculated commission in my life. I only hope I don't get burned come April 15.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

I'm so ashamed I forgot my anniv

OMG, how bad is it that I was reminded of our wedding anniversary by a gift certificate from a restaurant AND also to find out I'm attending a Jerry Springer taping the day of! How high-brow!

What a loser!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jeremy: You're not a loser :) You're delightfully tacky ;)

Karen: jerry springer?! omfg lol! i can't imagine you of all people LOL

Monday, September 3, 2007

Renaissance Faire

Christina,
Maybe this whet your appetite and you'll visit next year and we can combine the Bristol Renaissance Faire and the Celtic fest the following week.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Why does shit, even good ones, happen at the same time?

So, the days of unemployment are coming to an end. And everyone's right, I should've done all the crap I wanted to do before working. Now I have 2 weeks to do as much as possible.

I was offered a sales job by a direct mail company. Went for my 2nd interview today and was given the offer at the end of it.

But the downpour came over the weekend when I was asked to apply for an inside sales position at Mark's paper. The thing is, I KNOW I will have this job if I want it. So I have an interview tomorrow after sending in my resume today. And I was to give an answer to the first company on Wednesday noon! Aargghhhhh......

Decision, decision. Help......
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bob: Work with your hubby.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Happy monetary news

Another one bites the dust. One more payment and I'm done with the bill for my laser eye surgery.

Another credit card bill to go and we're debt free! Woohoo.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Internet creeps

I thought I'd make a little extra by offering piano lessons at my place. So I posted on Craigslist. And this is what I got back:

Hello.....

Am Mrs Howard Rose. I am from U.K my son is coming
for an holiday in your area, He's name is Daniel is 14
years old and so i don't want her to be less busy in
the time of the day. i have decide to let he attending
your lesson , so he will be coming 1 hour in a day
(10am to 11am) in the morning or time that you will be
chance. so i want you to calculate the cost of 1 hour
per day for Monday, Wednesday & Friday for the whole 1
Month and send me the total cost , i will be paying
you with cashier check ,so get back to me with your
cost for the August to September. I have someone that
will always drive him down to your house.

Kindly get back to me with......

1.YOUR CHARGE FOR AN HOUR....

2.TOTAL CHARGES FOR 1 MONTH THAT HE WILL BE TAUGHT 3
TIMES PER WEEK..

3.FULL NAME AND ADDRESS WITH ZIP CODE....

4.YOUR PHONE NUMBER...

Don't hesitate to e-mail with your total charges.

Thanks and looking to hearing from you soon.

With Best Regards

Mrs Howard Rose


Sounds all normal, right, although that needs serious editing. Really, English people (that is, if you're really English or a mom or ....), what's up?

But the creepy part is this: her e-mail address "slavegirl22@notableserver.com"

Suffice to say, I returned the e-mail saying I'm pulling my service and promptly took down the posting from craigslist.

I don't think I'm being presumptuous in thinking there's something fishy about a mom with an e-mail id like slavegirl22. But I like to think when we pick our ids in this e-world, our choice reflects our personality. I could jokingly create mailorderbride12, but what's the first impression it's gonna get?

So, there we have it, phishing, scammers.

And this incident causes another pause. Growing up, practically everyone takes music lessons from a neighbor, or friend of a friend etc. These days, it's a scary idea to be hosting anything, anything, in your own home for fear of undesirables.

This is what our world is coming to.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday, August 13, 2007

A shoutout to my mommy

My mom has been pretty much a housewife to my brother, me and my cousin. She held a part-time job at a buddhist school when I was really young, but she gave it up when dad did pretty well, well enough to afford a house in Singapore, to take care of us kids.

I remember about 10 years ago, she was telling me that being a housewife is no fun. No social life and constantly thinking about what the next meal is going to be to satisfy so many tastebuds. My extended family of uncles and aunts would frequently come over every night (except for some weekends) to eat as they all work full time.

Now, I'm home again, without any kids to care for except my dog and cat, that I know what my mom went through. And I'm only cooking for the husband and me. But it's tough. I need to take into consideration what we had the night before, or two nights before, and what he had for lunch recently, so as not to repeat the dishes. And in spite of all the damn cooking shows I watch for ideas and all the darn cookbooks available, I constantly draw a blank. It's frustrating.

So, kudos to my mom, and all the other moms who struggle daily to make sure we never go hungry and disgruntled.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bob: Reasons why fast food and restaurants are booming....there are many housewives who buy "home cook food"...LOL.

Melissa: Your mom (and all stay-at-home moms!) definitely deserves kudos!!! My sister is currently a stay-at-home mom too -- at least until she finishes her college degree. And like you just said, it's tough!!! She and her husband have a 3-year-old and you're so right about worrying about where the next meal is going to come from. I think any woman who makes the decision to stay at home still works full-time, as I know you're finding out, just minus that paycheck! *hug* I think you're wonderful!!!! A billion kudo to you too!!!

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Will you still respect me in the morning?

Recently, I took an aptitude test at Prudential Investment, you know, The Rock. The test is a two-parter, one character and one along the lines of the GRE Math.

I got a call today to return for an interview. Apparently, I did so well in both parts that they want to talk to me about being certified as a money manager.

I am stoked at the chance of breaking into this lucrative field, and more so, that now I'm at this stage in my life that I am freaking out about retirement, I am actually interested in finance. I even renewed my subscription to Money magazine a few months ago.

Hence, the question. Will I still have your awe and admiration if I switched gears? Don't worry, I won't come after you to buy life insurance, Roth, funds unless you truly want me to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jeremy: Of course you will :) And you have my total respect. ANd I'm sure I'll be trying to get free advice from you :) Changing careers is not easy but it will be worth it if you truly would like to get into the field.

Patrick: Were I the type of person to hold a grudge against someone who is leaving an industry that is collapsing, then yes.

Dan: t's hilarious, one of my friends here and I were discussing money last night. As in, I don't have any right now.

It's funny how journalists talk of money in alternately dreamy and disdainful tones ... boy, having money would be great but I'm a journalist, so we won't ever get paid, etc., etc.

So go for it. At least take the interview. The worst thing that can happen is that they're not doing what you thought they were, and you're right back where you are.

Buena suerte!

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Back to Augusta

... for a brief time.

Hey, folks, I'll be in town on Sunday June 18 and leaving for Savannah on Tuesday June 20. Hope y'all can make it to dinner with me Sunday and/or Monday night. I'm thinking Bonefish Grill.... mmmmmm.

Columbia folks, if you can make it, that'll be great.

Details to follow! Can't wait!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Friday, August 3, 2007

New Addiction

I have since succumbed to yet another type of blog -- that of restaurant reviews.
Honestly, I have nothing exciting on the job search front, and I'd rather be positive than negative, so I haven't posted anything on myspace in a while.

But check out this fun site where I get to perform a public service to all mankind. I think it's more productive and also helps me stay connected in some social aspect.

For those of you in bigger cities, it's worth checking out your area of town. For those who remain in relatively smaller ones, start your own. And let's kick the useful albeit subscription-based Angie's list to the curb.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Patrick: That's terrific. We have a very active Yelp scene in NYC too. I haven't gone out to many restaurants or bars here in Connecticut (being broke will do that), but I intend to get more involved with it when I move back to the city.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Can't wait to get my Wait! Wait!

To fans of the NPR's hilarious weekly news quiz show, weep your hearts out, especially this weekend's edition.

The supreme Chicago U.S. attorney Patrick Fitzgerald, the man and his staff who are responsible for bringing down the mob, Conrad Black, and most notably, Scooter Libby, was the guest at Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me this week live at Millenium Park. http://www.wtopnews.com/index.php?nid=114&sid=1194755

Try to catch the show this weekend on your local NPR station if you can. He is quite a sport and the joking jabs are always right on.

Here's a blurry proof of the man walking by:


------------------------------------------------------------------
Jeremy: Lord, if he can only get Dick Cheney (I'm surprised said assface didn't launch an ICBM at Teheran this morning while W was getting a camera-hose up his hooter).

Monday, July 16, 2007

Tacky can be fun

I can't believe I would join the throngs of losers, literally, who gush about their trip to Vegas. Not that I swore not to enjoy the trip, but I wasn't expecting to like it THAT MUCH!

Is it tacky? Not that much. If the newer hotels continue with the tone they are setting for how future hotels are to look on the Strip, the amount of tackiness will soon be a thing of the past, like Freemont Street. But I would hate for that day when those earlier icons like Flamingo, Circus Circus, Excalibur (uglyyyy), New York (tacky) and Luxor are bulldozed. It won't be Vegas without them, just like it won't be Vegas without the Ratpack, Liberace, the impersonators, the strippers.

Anyway, for the snobs out there who think they can do better than going to Vegas, trust me when I say you just gotta give it a shot at least once in your lifetime. I don't gamble (well, I did a little; and between M and me, lost quite a bit. But it's all relative right?) and thought I wouldn't enjoy myself half as much. Not so.

Being a hotel gawker, this is my slice of heaven. We didn't go to all the hotels on the Strip. We wanted to save some for future visits. Tops on my list are:

Paris: Where we stayed. Our room is circled in red. What a view. We can even hear the cannons and see the Bellagio water show from our room. For my review, see http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=l2xCVVInBHnHjj2YrL5vig

Bellagio: No surprise. The corporation that owns the Bellagio also manages the MGM Grand, and the Mirage. The lobby is magnificent. The glass chandelier sculpture on the ceiling is created by the great glass artist Dan Chihuly, the same fella who crafted the other chandeliers in the Atlantis hotel in the Bahamas, and other parts of the world. Breathtaking. Equally breathtaking is the water show. I've seen plenty of these shows and didn't expected to be wowed. But I was blown away. The designers maintained the elegance of the white spot lights on the water without going overboard with lasers and colors. We stayed for 2 more shows, 15 minutes apart. And you have to see them with the music.

Bellagio chandelier

MGM Grand, Mirage, Caesar's Palace: Like the Bellagio, the MGM casino floor is expansive. Not to mention, high stakes! Caesar's was truly the most surprising to me. I thought it was going to be tacky to the highest degree. Sure, there's kitsch, but done so right! There's even a Trojan horse. LOL.

Along the line of doing something tacky, we did the roller coaster at New York, New York. While the hotel and casino is nothing to write home about -- cramped and claustrophobic, the coaster was a thrill. I did a day and a night ride. Re-rides are only half priced and you get to the front of the line, just like at DisneyWorld.

Another thing you got to do in Vegas is EAT. Of course, we did the requisite buffet, but we weren't too fastidous as to which one to do since we were not that famished. We made reservations at Joel Rubochon's French bistro only to bail out later when we saw the price on the tasting menu. Then we tried Bravo's Top Chef judge Tom Colicchio's Craftsteak, but was distracted by Michael Mina's Seablue down the path. We ended up at Seablue, for its price and offerings. While Mina is not as huge a celebrity chef like Colicchio and Joel Rubochon, his menu is fantastic, and I was craving a good sea bass. Another great meal I had was at La Burger Brasserie in the Paris hotel. You can build your own burger (like some other burger places in Vegas) and I had my medium-well burger (mmmm, so moist) on a parmesan bread and loaded with arugula, mozzarella and had a fried egg instead of proscuitto. Delish.

But the most surprising thing we found ourselves doing is attending the World Series of Poker Tournament that's going on at the Rio hotel. OMG. We've been watching it on TV all this time, and now's our chance to maybe run into some hot players like Phil Hellmuth, Daniel Negranu, Phil "unibomber" Laak etc. We didn't see them but I caught the back of the head of that ugly, greasy Scotty Nguyen. Ewwww. And Gus Hansen, he's so handsome. And these 3:

That's Tobey Maguire & a famous Costa Rica player

... and that funny commentator on TV.

And we even got to sit in the ring with the final poker players while the cameras swarm around them. We were there on July 13, 2007. See if you can spot us on TV.

So, there's our Vegas trip in a medium nutshell. I can't wait to return.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Karen: Oh I knew you would have a good time :) I can't imagine anyone not to... it's fun just to see the women parading their new boobies (you can tell) and half their tops hanging out. Hey, we don't get many of those here in TN and if I do, they're probably real and I'm in the wrong area of town :) Actually, I do see a lot of them at the gym... scary.

But back to Vegas... now you can understand why we've been back twice in two months :) Christmas is fun here... the strip is filled with the Asian and Jewish community while it's gotta' be a ghost town in some other cities :)

I can't wait to go back. My favorite hotel (especially for non-gamblers) is The Signature @ the MGM Grand. You come down to the lobby to a real lobby and you have a small but much quieter pool to hang out at. NO KIDS! No casino... and it's a short walk (on a walkalator) to the casino @ the MGM - and yes you get to use ALL the pools they own too.

Me: Ooh, Christmas. Quieter and definitely cooler. I like the sound of that. And of the Signature. I noticed that the MGM has better room deodorant piped through its casinos compared to some, like Bally's. Ech!

Friday, July 6, 2007

Be Responsible

Good news since I so seldom start with those: I got a renter! Yay! And it's an MCG student with her husband. Only 1 week of empty space and the house is going to be occupied next week. Couldn't ask for better since we are hit with a heavy rent in Illinois, we couldn't afford to have 2 "house payments."

I'm soooo glad to be rid of my previous renters. Let's hope the new ones will be better. Without going into much detail, it's enough to say being a landlord is not easy. Those of you who know M and me, know that I'm usually the nitpicking one, and M is willing to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, to a fault.

Anyway, we have rented in multiple places and always treat the place with respect and care. Can't say the same with our previous renters. It's costing us more to have them around. So I am beseeching those of you who are renting, please, please, please:

1. Pay your rent on time
2. Admit your tardiness and pay the late fees accordingly
3. Take care of damage you caused right away
4. Keep a perpetually clean house so that you don't have much to clean on your last harried days
5. Water the yard
6. Do it when you say you would
7. Respect the house
8. Bathe your pets. Pet stink are disgusting and attract fleas, etc
9. Answer your phone or e-mail

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Christina: I so agree with you on this one! I was proud to have been told by my previous landlords at the beach that I was an EXCELLENT renter. even if Snow did claw up the furniture a few times. I should copy your guidelines, tweak them for the "temporary" condo renters and send them out!

Me: Of course there will be mishaps other than regular wear and tear. As long as the renters are responsible towards it, I have no qualms. I like to think we are fair. We even paid for Merry Maids to get the house ready for the new renters cuz we have word that our old renters left the place not clean (to our standards) and smelling like wet-dog high heaven, and with fleas nonetheless.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Sadly, I'm no sage

I thought I'd kill plenty of birds with one stone by sharing that one year older does not translate to one year wiser for me.

It's difficult to have a good birthday, even on a weekend, if a pessimistic person like me is surrounded by family and friends, consisting of an ADD child, a constantly ailing and repetitive family member-in-law, and headaches of an empty house in Georgia reeking of wet dog.

So, that, in a nutshell is how my birthday went.

I really shouldn't be making a big deal out of a birthay, and more so, shouldn't let others affect my perspective of how a special day should be celebrated. I suppose if I were to employ psychology to why my expectations of this day is high at all, it would harken to my childhood when my mom would make a fuss of helping me plan a small party, to which my good friends would be invited, and mom would make me a fab cake, and I was loaded with tons of presents from all.

But being 36 now, I should be wiser. I really don't seek gifts. I have enough crap given to me and I can't wait to bring my house to the Minimalist standard(OK, not that drastic, but you know what I mean).

I just don't want to spend my days taking care of others. Instead, I want someone tend to MY needs for JUST ONE DAY. Alas, that was not to be. The husband did promise to make it up to me next week in Vegas. I already guessed the gift he was getting me and I can't change his mind not to do it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Christina: I can identify with your entire post. I guess the only thing worse than what you experienced on a birthday is what happened on mine...my two oldest friends who I have known since high school BOTH forgot. But I'm sorry yours wasn't good. Birthdays can be difficult. I also can identify with the my needs problem. It seems to me I've spent about the past three weeks worrying about pleasing everybody else and not one person has asked if there's anything I personally need or would enjoy. Oh well...I hope you feel better! And I'm sorry I didn't know it was your birthday. I suck.


Thursday, June 21, 2007

Where to eat?!

OK, I'm at a loss. I'm headed to Vegas in three weeks, and I need some more suggestions on where to graze.

We'll be there, officially, for 2 days, so that's at least 4 meals. Am considering dinner at Tom Colicchio (Top Chef judge) craftsteak $$$$. Ouch! But I adore Colicchio and since we aren't springing for the hotel (but bear in mind also I've plenty of expenses coming up, living in Chicago, and living off one income), that maybe we can afford to splurge at one nice restaurant.

There's also the off-the-strip Thai place - Lotus of Siam $. I've read in various forums that the Parisian buffet is better than the Wynn's and Bellagio's. The latter 2 tend to be costly and overrated.

So what other good, cheap eats are there?

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

A new perspective on an old subject

I spent about 2 hours at the VW dealership today getting my car's 70k mile oil change and am one of 2 passing time in the waiting room.

Normally, I would have my reading material with me. But, in my haste, I forgot.

I typically don't strike up conversation with stranger but this lady around late 30s to early 40s started to ask me what car I drive.

When we found out we both drove the same make, model and year car, we naturally launched into an easy conversation.

What I found out about her in the 2 hours was quite revealing. She told me she used to be a boat salesperson until an accident in downtown Chicago almost killed her. She was actually in a coma for days and had brain trauma from the direct impact of the truck. She was thrown into the air and landed on her head. Because of her near-death experience and lasting injury (brain damage), she cannot resume her job, and worse yet, cannot learn new skills. And the infuriating part is that the driver does not own the truck and he does not have insurance. Which means, she is left to handle the million-dollar surgery bills. Talk about a strain on a family's finances.

Of course, all this is really sobering to me, who constantly complains about not having enough money to buy this, do that. There are always others worse off, maybe not financially constantly, but in other aspects of life. Then there are always others who are way better off. I suppose this chance meeting with her will be a constant reminder to me to quit looking at the negative slide of my life, and focus on making life more productive, and gripe-free.

Monday, June 18, 2007

I love corgis

For posterity sake, I'm posting this video here:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=VWDc9oyBj5Q

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Good service = good tips. Simple.

once a week.

That particular day, we waited forever and after numerous requests for refills of water, and we didn't get it. We were sweltering in the restaurant, which didn't help. The other table that consists of a bunch of Asians instead got their refills, and they came later than us.

In disgust, M tipped 80cents. That's right. It's less than 10%. He even said he was going to write them to complain of their horrible basic service.

Before he could do that, the hostess came up to him and asked if he really gave 80 cents and why. He was taken aback for being called on it. It's never happened to us before. The three of us spoke up in unison about the deplorable attention. And she had the gall to say that the waiters don't get paid but from the tips and 80 cents is hardly anything to go by. So we are the bad guys now.

I applaud M for doing what he did. Furthermore, I'm usually the pickier customer than he is. On most bad occasions, he at least tip 10%, to my chagrin. Yes, Ling is always out to teach others a lesson, isn't she? I'm usually the bastard, there, I said it.

Anyway, tips are not mandatory and the amount is and should be a reflection of how well the service is tendered. Hopefully, this episode will shed some light to the wait staff that they should not assume they'll be paid regardless of quality of service.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Christina: AMEN! You guys were in the right, and the hostess had really bad taste to act like you were the bad guy, and NOT APOLOGIZE for her server's bad performance.

I have tipped much less than 10 or 15 percent on many occasions when bad service was given. I have several times NOT left a tip at all when the service was particularly lacking. On one of these occasions, it was at a popular local restaurant here in Columbia. The waitress had a horrible attitude to begin with, not even making eye contact with anyone at the table after keeping us waiting for about 10 minutes while she chatted with friends at a nearby table She did not bring water, condiments, or other items when asked, got the orders wrong, and again copped an attitude when asked to take the incorrect food back to the kitchen. At the end, we asked another passing waitperson if we could see the manager. He arrived, and our party of three informed him, very nicely, why his waitress was not being given a tip. Instead of making us feel like the bad guys, instead he THANKED us for informing him of the situation, said he needed to know from customers when bad service was given, and gave us a discount on the meal.

As you said, tipping is NOT mandatory. You get tipped as your service merits. Hopefully this waitperson learned a lesson from this incident! What ever happened to the customer is always right???!!!

Monday, June 11, 2007

One More Won't Hurt

As I got older and wiser, I realized the saying "It's better to have few friends than many acquaintances" carry lots of credo. And as I moved from state to state in the last decade, the chances of making friends get slimmer as I get older. Especially with people who have been in the place forever and simply have no room for you in their cliques.

So, anytime I meet someone new, I simply don't harbor any expectations that I can get a friendship out of him/her.

Then myspace came along, and all sorts of people start becoming your friends, some for better, and others not. At least I have the option of dropping them before they drop me, right? hahahaha.

So it is through myspace that I found a few good people. One is G, whom I met in Singapore shortly after our correspondence. And G told me about her best bud K who is happily married in the States. When I returned from my vacation, I thought I would get to know K via the net. K turned out to be everything that G told me about - funny, genuine, and sincere. So K and I talked on the phone for about a year, both of us knowing that I may not visit her in Tennessee, and no way is she coming to Lubbock (where I was living then). And that's OK with me, cuz we figured at some time, we'll hook up with G in New York where G is, and it's win-win-win for all.

Then, before we know it, we're meeting in Chicago. It's silly to confess this but meeting and making new friends in person suddenly brings to mind a blind date! The drive to downtown Chicago was a little nerve-wracking for me. I mean, I meeting this "friend" and her husband. The ratio, first of all, is off. And then, what if I turned out to be a dud to them. Conversing on phone is way easier. There's always an easy exit if the phone conversation hangs on dead air - "oh, I gotta go grocery shopping!" Of course, K laughs it off when I expressed my concern.

And this is one of 2 get-togethers we're having while they're in Chicago. Mark is unable to make dinner in the middle of the week, and we made plans for another dinner date on Friday. And they had kindly extended their stay to accomodate us!

So there brings another concern, right? What if the husbands are socially awkward around each other? I mean, that's always the problems with couples, isn't it? Rarely can a couple find another couple that they want to hang out with. One half of the other couple seems to possess some idiosyncracy that most surely guarantee there won't be a "next time." Thankfully, our husbands turned out to be quite chatty, more so than us girls!

In this rare case, one or two more friends certainly doesn't hurt. Now I just wish all my friends are closer in distance to me.

The unsuspecting ang-mohs with their "SPG"s


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jeremy: Awww :) I'd love to come visit sometime.

Patrick: Man, do I ever know about that whole hardening of cliques thing. That was easily the most brutal part about being single in Augusta. But you know, my father likes to say that we don't get older, we just get more so. So if you're interested in making new friends when you're young, it stands to reason you'll be open to new people when you're an adult, and hopefully find others who are open too. Kudos for reaching out!

Christina: I'm proud of you for reaching out, like Jeremy said! This is a great picture and it does prove the virtues of things like Myspace when you can make and meet new friends even over long distances! Glad to hear this worked out...like you however I wish you guys were closer and that all the good people I know weren't spread so far out around the country!

Bob: Wonderful! It is tough moving around so much, uprooting and all, nice pic, I'm sure u guys had a wonderful time!

Karen: the unsuspecting new friend :) ...here i am! told you not to be nervous lol!

you're absolutely right about the distance however... sucks huh?! but at least we're moving away to (hopefully) a more exciting place then memphis lol. it can't get much worst, can it!? lol! ...and you guys can come visit. plus we certainly will be back in chicago so you'll be seeing us soooon!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I can't believe it happened to us

We attended a pay per view UFC at a nice bar the other day. It was the much anticipated fight between Liddell and Rampage. Anyway, when we left the bar around midnight, we ran into a bunch of youths and smokers at the parking lot who told us that we missed the real fight outside the bar. OK, whatever.

On the way home, Mark noticed that our driver side rearview mirror had been moved. And of course, we were worried that the mirror was broken by some drunk at the bar and there were scratches on the mirror. None of that. Whew!

So all was well until we headed over to our friends' house on Sunday to meet up for a downtown Chicago romp. Returning from Chicago in their car, Mark asked me if I had noticed an indentation on the back passenger door. OMG, the four of us ran over to our parked car and we saw this huge, deep, verticle dent all along the door. And we knew it. We had been the innocent victim of some raging testosteroned fellas outside the bar the night before. Someone must've slammed the other fella into the side of our car.

Most of us have been victims to dings from supermarket carts and scratches from botched parallel parking. But to be on the receiving end of some brainless, irresponsible beefcake parking lot fights really takes the cake for me. The worst part is there's not a single responsible witness who bothered to report the act and take names. That truly chaps my ass.

Anyway, the update on the car. The heat today has popped the dent out a lot, much to our delight, and there's still a fist-sized dent along the ridge of the car. We are hoping that we don't have to break into our insurance to take care of that. Maybe the summer heat will take care of that last remaining dent.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bob: Sorry to hear about that. But your car could have been an accessory to murder! ha ha ha.

Jeremy: What the hell? I hope you find those dudes and chop their nuts off.

Christina: I am SO SORRY to hear about this. I got my car keyed one time outside a bar but nothing like a huge body-caused dent! Hopefully the heat will pop it out. If not, there are ways a good body shop guy or mechanic can pop out dents using some special tools they have.

Melissa: I'm so sorry it's taken me forever (and a day!) to respond to this!! But, ARGH!!! That makes me so mad for you! I want to say I can't believe people could be so irresponsible, but... I'm starting to find out that a lot of people out there really are. *sigh* And then when you throw alcohol into the mix, they become dumber than belly button lint. What's worse, I doubt those guys even remember throwing punches around your car. They're probably blissfully unaware that they were dumb-farts. I'm sorry!!! I hope the dent continues to pop out! Keep us posted!

Saturday, May 19, 2007

It is not the first time I ran into foreign-speaking serviceworkers. And I certainly am guilty of lapsing into my Mandarin with friends when I want to keep my casual conversations exclusive to my select audience.

But this morning, the reality finally hits me that it is extremely disrespectful when you are working in a country whose primary language is English, you don't speak English. Likewise, if I were in China, I would expect my serviceworkes to speak Mandarin to one another; or Singapore, Singlish (yes, my American friends, we concocted a slang in Singapore called the Singlish. It's really a hoot to be engaging in that with my Singapore expats and family.)

I was in Micky Ds getting its run-and-go breakfast and as I waited, the cashier was speaking Spanish to her trainee and via the microphone on separate occasions. Suddenly, I felt like I was in a strange land. Transported even. And I began to panic at the prospect of future America, where Spanish becomes the primary language, what with all the mass migration (legal and illegal) and the mentality that we all better start learning Spanish to compete with the economy. Of course, I am also miffed at the influx of ATMs and touch-tone operations providing Spanish as an option.

Can you imagine countries in Europe and Asia expecting their citizens to learn a particular foreign language just because their land is slowly being populated by a different racial group? France by Algerians, Canada by Asians, Singapore by migrant workers from all over the world.

Now, I am all for learning different languages. There certainly is merit in that - Singaporeans know that from birth since we have been living in diversity, not adversity, all our lives. But in no way, did we ever thought of ceding our primary language, which is English, to another language just because there are increasingly more of them in our country now. In fact, you can expect diversity in our signage, public announcements, and commercials to cater to the primary racial groups.

Here, in the States, when you call an automated line, read a brochure (save manuals), or go to the ATM, you gotta to wonder where is the Vietnamese, the Korean, the Mandarin, the Tamil. Afterall, where I am now, in Chicagoland, there are a fair share of these other races' services.

I am annoyed at the liberties we are giving the Hispanics who refuse to abide by the standards of the country they are residing in. Worse yet, I am no in position to change the system.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Patrick: Here in New York, there are entire areas of the city (and even pockets of the suburbs) where English is the second language. It's disorienting as hell when you're there (I know, I had to write a profile of the Latino-heavy Jackson Heights), but I've never thought of it as being disrespectful. If you want to succeed in business beyond your little ethnic pocket, you have to speak English, period. If not, that's your perogative too. As for the liberties we "give" to Hispanics via automated lines and such, I'm sorry, but you're out numbered. Latinos are now a bigger minority than even blacks, and there's strength in numbers.

I wouldn't worry about Spanish ever becoming the primary language of the U.S. English is the language of business all around the world, and as we all know, money talks.

Bob: Maybe Singapore NOW isn't Singapore that you knew then. Singapore is now a country full of migrant workers who earn more than locals. Foreign talent as they are called here are given first class privilege wherever they go in Singapore.

Road signs, MRT signs are now in Chinese and Tamil, to cater to the Chinese and Indians here.

Foreign talents are given jobs ahead of Singaporeans and no effort is spared in making Singaporeans KNOW their place in Singapore.

Retailers give Foreign talents (not the ang moh only now), first class service, because most service workers are foreigners anyway. They disdain serving locals.

Gone are the days where indian and chinese immigrants are cleaners, construction workers and prostitutes.

Now 60, 70 year olds clean up after foreigners and locals.

Indian and Chinese migrants are now programmers, bankers, economists, accountants, lawyers, doctors, engineers...etc.

A 26 year old local gets paid maybe $3,000 because he has only 2 years of working experience as he serves his country for 2 years. A similar foreigner would be earning at least DOUBLE that.

Most of the new private condominiums in Singapore are bought by foreigners.

Landed property previously exclusive to locals are now available to be bought by foreigners too.

Also, Singapore's first language is MALAY.

Locals here speak dialect. Mandarin is an official chinese language.

English is / was NEVER the primary language.

As foreigners find it hard to communicate with locals, they substitute locals at their work place with their own countrymen. This will eradicate the problem of mis-communication.

English spoken by an Indian national is different in accent and in "presentation". It is easy to mis-interprete an Indian's words.

I also disagree that English is the language of business and therefore English will "rule".

In China, if you can't speak Chinese, you can forget about doing business in China.

English is the main medium for communication especially on the internet, that I do agree. But we have to understand that as businessmen, language is an easy barrier to overcome.

Singapore has lost its edge in the international business world, because, English is no longer a "premium" language spoken by yellow coloured people.

Singaporeans are now regarded as pariahs. Because they are neither fluent in English nor in Mandarin. Singaporeans are also lacking in knowing the culture of the west and east. No matter how well versed one is in Chinese studies and English literature and history, there is nothing more important than in-depth knowledge of a culture.

Singaporeans are spiritless and cultureless beings created by the government to be drones working in factories, to be never heard and be counted. Thus, Singapore is paying the price for it.

For my take on the American situation, it is just a simple business decision to tap on the "spanish" dollar. There is nothing sinister or unnerving about it.

Me: I disagree English WAS never the primary language. Granted, there's been a lot of Mandarin and Hokkien spoken alongside but at least in school, English and second languages are stressed. And you always can find someone who's able to speak English, no matter how mangled. But you've eben lviing there all your life and is better versed in the current state than I am. And is the condition really that depressing and second-class to our natives? You gotta wonder if the government has given up on reeling back the braindrain they were so afraid of.

Bob: Brain drain is NO LONGER an issue in Singapore. Yearly, they grant citizenships (thousands of them) and hundred of thousands of PR (Permanent residents). Do not believe me?

Singapore's population today is about 4.5M, only 2-3M are locals. What the government does now is to merge the PR and Citizens stats together to mask any "problem" areas like unemployment, wage levels...etc.

Our government is efficient and has countered lack of new babies and brain drain by importing "talents" from abroad.

Recent survey shows that foreigners will never give up their citizenships for a Singapore pink IC. That goes for the Chinese, Indians, Malaysians...etc. But they will continue to "milk" Singapore for what it is worth.

Our government now consist of numerous "foreign talents".

In fact in parliament, we have a couple of ex-Malaysian, ex-Indoneisan MPs and one NMP who is I believe Indian. Our policies have therefore NOT strangely been skewed towards making foreign talents "special" in Singapore.

Like I said, Mark would NOT have ANY problems getting a top job in Singapore.

This is the toned down version as it is a national day speech.

You can read more here: http://www.channelnewsasia.com/s2006/english5.htm

But you get the whole picture.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Random acts of sweetness to little ole me

It's such a great feeling to be thought of by a friend, out of the blue to boot!

Yesterday, I finally got to an e-mail from K if I had received a package from her. When I got home, I found it tucked between the front doors.

It was no mere packet but a big USPS box and it felt heavy.

She had sent me some Chinese medicine I had requested a while back and added a few surprises like snacks and a housewarming gift. The most interesting thing is, we haven't even met! Maybe I should keep it that way.

Now, I have to admit I felt really touched and special and I loveeeee surprises and presents! It's been a while since any friend had randomly thought of getting me a gift. Geez, I can't remember the last time I got a birthday card from a bunch of folks, except from C, who always sends me cards and when I visit, pack me some nice SEAsian desserts for the road. And there's John Sinclair, who will rise to the occasion of making me mixed CDs for the long road trips the 2 times I relocated since knowing him.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jeremy: Aww. That's awesome. Hope you're doing well.

Thanks, guys, for the reminder that I am special to you. I can't wait to start gifting to you. Afterall, I love shopping.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Remember the sock monkey?

It's really a dumb toy to me until I chanced upon it during my visit to Rockford today.

I tagged along with M and his colleague who are on a business trip to the Register Star. Having a few hours to kill, I drove around the downtown, which is in the midst of revitalization (read, empty shopfronts and a few hip restaurants), and chanced upon the visitors' center. I found some typical tourist brochures and found a tourist spot that looked interesting. The Tinker Swiss Cottage. Sounds delightful, doesn't it? It is. .

For a mere $5, I was treated to a personalized tour by a very capable docent. While I was signing the guest book, I caught sight of the sock monkey and thought it was peculiar. Does it have a Swiss connection? Then I looked around the shop/reception, and realized a few other country-like knick knacks, and I thought it was just part of the country craft souvenirs.

As we started the tour, the docent pointed to a row of factory next to the cottage - the Nelson Knitting Company. It is here in that factory that some ladies created the sock monkey. How freaky cool is that? I was told that these days, the sock monkey cannot be bought as a whole toy unless a bunch of ladies, mostly from churches or retirement homes, decide to make them. But if you feel nostalgic for one, here's where you can get them. And did you know why the ladies at the knitting factory create the monkey? Here's a trivia: they thought the red heel looked like a mouth!

The tour of the Tinker Swiss Cottage is nothing short of remarkable. But this really is not the blog for it. If you are an interior design and architecture buff, you'd be be blown away by the history, and the detail to attention. The trompe l'oeil restoration is a sight to behold.

Rockford is a river town, and is not a town to brag about. But in these few short hours, I had the chance to see the cottage, and also the art museum. Now, I am not an art aficionado and certainly cannot dissect art. I was drawn to it by the lightpost banners promoting His and Hers, a pair of Sweden glass artists' exhibitions. Glass, that is a medium I am a sucker for. When I got there, this unemployed patron was thrilled to find that it's free day at the museum!

The sandblasted glass work by him was surreal but well executed. Lots of phallic imagery. Not my cup of tea. Hers was more user- and homeowner-friendly, but still quite suggestive. Why are artists so tortured sexually?

Sidenote: there was a artisan chocolate store near the paper. I peeked in and was given a detailed description of each truffle. Interesting combination but each little 2-inch square of truffle is $2.50! That's half the admission of the cottage tour. No thank you! I'm no sucker!

The Value of a Symbol

A few days ago, I discovered my wedding band and ring were missing from my finger. I had never placed the importance of monetary value on this symbol of marriage when we purchased and chose them. But it always feels comforting to see the diamonds throw their sparkle when the light catches them.

With them absent from my finger, I suddenly realize the relative lightness on my hand and most of all, the emptiness in my heart.

These rings come to represent the iconic status of being a wife, a bride, to my beloved. While the physical aspect of it can be replaced, the brief (almost 3 years) history of it can't buy a new set. Am I succumbing to the diamond marketing industry of "a diamond is forever"? I should hope not.

I realized, too, that the anger I felt toward myself was due to the apparent carelessness and thoughtlessness I have towards them. I may have taken them off to wash the dishes, or my hair, or to prevent the bands from being scuffed during the laborious unpacking of boxes. But why didn't I show more care as to where I put them?

After a day of searching and backtracking, I had to let go. While M was convinced they were somewhere in the house and that they'll show up at some point, I was exhausted by my action.

The next day, refreshed by a night's sleep, I woke up to begin a new round of tearing the place down ... right after I have that cup of coffee. And there they were,two little circles sitting on the kitchen counter next to the sink. How they turned up, I've no idea.

I've come to yet another hard-learned lesson of being aware of my actions, my mind, and my environment. A little less rushing through life will be a good start.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Christina: This is such a good blog...so full of meaning and so true! I have done this several times with the rose gold ring I wear on my right hand which was my Scottish great-grandmother's wedding ring. I feel exactly like you did when this ring is off my hand and I always kick myself when I realize how careless I can be with this real tangible symbol of my family and ancestors! Your sentiments about what your ring means to you were also beautiful. I'm glad you found it again!

Me: I don't think I ever told you how I remembered you thumbing your rings. Now I do the same thing. On a similar vein, I lost a gold bracelet my mom gave me when I was in college. And I still feel guilty about it.

Patrick: I hear ya! I hate it when I misplace my wedding ri...Oh wait, that's right. No one loves me like they love you! Cool story. Hold onto those sentiments.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Adios, Tejas

The last month in Lubbock has been nothing short of dramas. I was asked to terminate my resignation earlier that usual. I had a house on a property that appeals to select groups of buyers. I had driven my car into deep flood water. I had ample free time. Now these are memories as I look forward to closing on my house tomorrow and hitting the road toward Chicago.

The house sale has been interesting. I put up on my sign about 2 months ago. The first day I was pounding that sign into the rocky ground in my driveway, my eccentric artist-neighbor drove by and expressed his interest. Following that, I had a stream of tirekickers and interested parties. It was only about 3 weeks later that my neighbor started to panic (I think) that he invited me to a cookout at his house and hastily in the phone invitation, tells me he's really interested and could we have a deal. Just like that. 3 weeks later, we are closing. Tomorrow, at 8:30. Wow. It turned out to be a win-win deal. That's all M and I ever wanted. Glad that's gonna to be behind me. I cannot imagine many people having that kind of good fortune of selling a house in an interesting property that quickly and getting a cash deal out of it.

What am I taking away from Lubbock?

Most certainly, my other wonderful neighbors who had taken on the role of the surrogate parents after M left for Chicago about 4 months ago. They were there to chauffeur me around when my car was waiting for parts for a week. They were my solace when I thought I was going to be paying a fortune for my car repair.They introduced me to the lake community through church, town hall meetings and pot lucks. They were my petsitters, forging a beloved bond with my endearing dog, and independent cat. They were my real estate advisor. And most recently, my home away from home after the movers hauled everything away.

I'm also leaving behind a few good friends. Some of whom I didn't have the initiative to get to know when M was around.

I don't think I had utilized my two years here to really know the land and its people for their virtues. Most people I came across (at work, mainly) left as bitter a taste in my mind as the blowing dust storms. But for the many sorry folks I came across, I must be grateful for the few good ones that make up for the disparity.

I'm truly sad to leave our third and last home -- the house overlooking the lake and caprock at Buffalo Springs. I didn't entertain as much as I wanted to. And I didn't get to pass the nights and weekends at it with M as much as we wanted to, either.

As I leave that behind me, I look forward to my new base in Chicago. And definitely that new beginning, when I get the chance to reevaluate on how my life would be lived.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Friday, March 16, 2007

I wil blog more about this in another month or so when I get to Chicago and have internet connection, but here it is in a nutshell:

I was called into HR at 2 p.m. today to be told that it is my last day, not April 23. Their reason: I'm leaving eventually, and the company is going through major financial distress (they froze positions and pay raises about 2 weeks ago), and they have no plans to rehire for my position.

So, this is my last post until my access to the internet.

Since I won't have internet access, I still have my phone and would love to hear from y'all. 806-252-4654

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jeremy:

Damn, I'm sorry. So you got screwed over by Morris, too, when you left? I got f**ked over when I left too, because initially I thought I had 17 days of vacation/PTO to burn, then come back one day and do the exit interviews. WRONG! Those days "are there based on a promise that you'll work the entire year, so you accrue only a few days." I got shafted out of pay I needed, considering I only got paid for a 1/2 month at the end of January at KSU. (You get paid an annualized salary with the university system, payable once a month on the last working day of the month--so you have to be VERY good with budgeting and not spending a bunch of money all in one fell swoop.)

They're not rehiring my position either at The Chronicle--it was posted internally, very briefly, then it disappeared, according to those still enslaved at Billy's farm.

No I ain't gonna work on Billy's farm no more....

Me: I stick to the general rule of never speaking ill of the employer, but damn, Morris is ________(fill in the blanks). I tell you what, I'm glad those of us who got to get out did. Can you imagine toiling for the corporation till you're ready for retirement?

Christina: Jeez, Ling, I am so sorry this happened. As you told me the other day on the phone before we got rudely cut off (I was driving into a rural part of the County that is lucky to have electricity, much less cell phone access!) Proof positive that newspaper companies truly SUCK! In the long run you are better off rid of them!

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

As we sprang forward an hour last Sunday, I got to wondering about falling back in time.

I'm reading the book What Should I Do with My Life? by Po Bronson who recently wrote a fascinating story in New York magazine on the ill aftermath of praise for children and I got to wondering the age-old question: if you could do it all over again, what direction would you have taken?

I know many of you are probably thinking and saying you wouldn't do it any differently? True, there are some aspects of my life that would not unfold had I not chosen the path I did. But if you really have the option to make different decisions (like academia decision which springs to mind, cuz a lot of where and what we are were defined by our educational choices), what would you do instead. I foresee already my (ex)reporter-friends not changing their decision, but let's not stop at academia. Would you have moved to where you are? Would you have invested in what you did? Would you have forgiven? Would you have been more religious?

As for me, I definitely would have sought out professionals in other fields and really take time to understand what they do, and what I needed in my coursework to work towards that. I blame my lack of foresight at age 20, I regret the lack of direction from friends, family, professors, guidance counselors, school. Growing up in Singapore, all we were introduced to in terms of profession were law or medicine. You may find it strange that engineering, pharmacy, IT were nonexistent subjects to me. Meaning, I honestly had no idea such courses were available! Can you believe my ignorance?!

To date, I have a vague idea of what I want to do. Probably interior design, structural architecture (or civil engineering), cooking/restaurant management, fashion design ....

I probably still would not forgive my dad, but I would speak to him and provided him a means of contact.

I would not have pursued my career goals (I've achieved them, so what?), and instead focused on establishing a family.

I probably should have chosen Australia for my overseas studies so that I could be closer to my family more often.

I should have concentrated on moving to the West Coast so my family and I could visit more frequently.

It probably is not too late to pursue some of these realizations. Now, all I can do is to make wiser decisions in life.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jeremy: I probably would have never gotten into debt with someone with whom I knew would never help me out financially.

I probably would have branched out and taken more public relations and design/pagination courses, not to mention IT/comp sci/Web design courses.

I probably would have studied abroad in Germany during my lower-level undergraduate years with UGA's foreign languages department, then in Toronto or Guadalajara with the Grady College of Journalism in the upper division years.

But, in all, I have to say that I have learned a lot from my life experiences, and I think those experiences have made me a more mature, independent, better person.

I still would have avoided coming home to Macon while I was in college. I still probably would have dated the same said emotionally abusive person with whom I got into debt (I just wouldn't have gotten financially entangled). And I still would have come to Augusta, where I met some of the greatest friends a person could have and learned that when push comes to shove, I can do many things under fire.

Patrick: That book sounds like something I should probably get my hands on, because I can't even begin to count the number of nights I've laid awake at night, unable to sleep because all I can think about is all the things that haven't gone according to plan. Jobs, friends, relationships, money, you name it, I can cite something wrong with my life. In fact, right now the only things that I'm optimistic about are my immediate family and my health.

That said, I wouldn't change a thing. If I applied myself more in high school, paid closer attention to how my relationship with my girlfriend was crumbling in 2001, or thought harder and longer about whether moving to the South was a wise idea, things may have very well turned out better. But then again, if I did that, I'd be someone else, not me.

I think it's admirable to look back at past choices with clear-headed realism, because that maxim about those who do not learn from their mistakes is a wise one. But don't beat yourself up too much though. We learn more from mistakes than from successes.

Me: Thanks to all who responded publicly and privately. I'm pleasantly surprised this topic has touched the core of many of you. And you have all given me much optimism and hope for the choices I had made and will be making. Pat, I'm only on the 3rd chapter of the book but the stories have resonated deeply. It's worth picking up at the local library (considering the financial rut most of us are in).


Wednesday, March 7, 2007

The Ron

Last night, a bunch of us from work attended a debate between a pastor, from the xxxchurch.com and drumroll, Ron Jeremy.

Yes, the Hedgehog.

It was interesting. I wouldn't go so far to say enlightening.

We certainly felt old surrounded by the full house of Tech students. Blech!

Sadly, I didn't get a personal picture or autograph from the man himself. It was getting late and I was worried about my darn dog. (That dog sure was not worth returning to. That darn animal refused to come to me when I called him yesterday and today.) Yeah, Bentley blew my chances of cozying up to the man.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Getting rid of the PMI monkey

I received a letter from Chase Home Finance yesterday. I knew what it was.

I had recently put in a request for my PMI removal (the interest one pays the bank when it's not 20% downpayment so as to protect the lender. It's a crock of @^%&). They had followed up with a payment of $150 to send a rep out to my house (in Augusta). The rep showed up a few weeks ago and took pictures of my house.

Those pictures are then sent back to Chase for them to appraise the value of the house. If their appraisal thinks that present equity satisfies the 20% limit, then we are off the hook to pay PMI.

We felt that by now, we have made enough payments to offset the 20% value, and were hoping that the extra $25 PMI we make each month in addition to our mortgage will be off our back. That gives us multiple savings over the years.

When this letter from Chase showed up in my mailbox, I was expecting for huge corporation to screw us. But lo and behold, the first few words could not sound sweeter.

We finally got rid of the dastardly monkey.

How to get rid of PMI

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Another Day at the Newspaper

I find it unfortunate that the day has to come when journalists have to go through such a checklist. Can't say I blame the editors completely. It is true there are journalists who equate length to importance. And I applaud the call to quotes. How often have we been tortured by ineffectual quotes that repeat a statement.

__________________________________________________________

Feb. 28, 2007, Memo from Washington Post Executive Editor Leonard Downie Jr. and Managing Editor Philip Bennett to the Paper's Staff

To: The Staff
From: Len and Phil


Our outstanding journalism comes in all sizes, including long pieces that deserve every inch. But for too long we've confused length with importance. Often the result has been stories that readers don't want to finish and displays in the newspaper that don't do our journalism justice.

We have decided to take a more disciplined approach to story lengths, with guidelines that are consistent with giving our readers quality journalism in a variety of appropriate lengths.

Here are guidelines for writers and editors. Please study and follow them. We are asking AMEs to enforce them.

Story Lengths—A Newsroom Strategy

Goals

  • The newspaper should be filled with stories of different sizes.
  • We need to show discipline in writing and story-telling. We especially need to pay attention to mid-range stories that are too long, given the underlying material.
  • We want to give reporters and editors the tools to edit better for length, and we want to give page designers a wider selection of story lengths to help them showcase all our journalism better.
  • A philosophy to live by: Every story must earn every inch.

Methods

1. A Rough Guide

The physical size of the newspaper imposes real constraints on story lengths. With headlines and photos, a page takes 65 inches of text. The only stories that run that long are projects. Otherwise, we must get several stories on most pages. To keep the paper lively and interesting, we must strive for variety—including some stories that are short. Through long experience with layout and design, and taking into consideration the news holes typically available on inside pages, we've come up with some guidelines for story lengths:

  • A small event, or an incremental development worth noting can be a digest item. The digests are important for readers.
  • A day story, significant enough to write for our readers but based on one event or development—6 to 15 inches. We frequently end up with 12-inch holes in the paper. Let's use them to the best advantage.
  • A single event with multiple layers or levels of information, 18 to 24 inches.
  • A more complex news feature of ambition and altitude—25-35 inches.
  • Major enterprise, involving in-depth reporting or narrative story telling—40 to 50 inches.
  • Extraordinary long-form narrative or investigation, magazine-type stories—60 to 80 inches or, rarely, more.

2. For Writers

Writers need to take responsibility for earning every inch of their stories. Every writer should consider:

In structure, does the story move cleanly from one sub-theme or topic to the next? If it wanders and circles back, look for ways to deal with sub-themes one at a time. Good chronology makes for good storytelling.

Watch out for artificial transitions. They burn up space needlessly. In many newspaper stories you don't need a transition from one idea to the next.

To build effective, memorable mental images, pay attention to characters. Can you describe who we are hearing from, what they look and sound like, and where they are coming from?

Is there a high, clear and powerful nut graf? Even the most extraordinary narrative needs to get to the point. For stories on the front page and section fronts, we must get to the nut graf before the jump.

We must avoid repetition. Don't use two or three quotes when one will do. The same goes for anecdotes. Resist the urge to quote someone just because you interviewed them.

We are often saddling readers with too much recapitulation and background. In writing both news and features, reporters should strive to eliminate stale material. If you must revisit events to make the current material work, be sparing. Cast a cold eye on B-matter. Every story about a complex running issue does not need to recap everything that's happened. Write for readers, not your sources.

Show, don't tell. Can you animate your characters and recount events in a way that will let the scenes and voices speak for themselves, rather than using the reporters' voice to tell it all? Watch out for excessive adjectives that tell us what to think, rather than summoning real experiences and events that show us what happened.

3. For Editors

An editor on each desk will be deputized to ensure that we stay true to the principles we're enunciating here: compliance with guidelines, accurate budgeting, coordination with page designers and layout.

This editor will scrutinize lengths based on our common editing criteria and will have power to hold a story and ask that it be redone based on length.

He or she will make sure that stories on the budget have passed through this process. All stories will be put on the budget with their actual lengths as approved and edited by that desk.

The editor in charge of story lengths—and the person running the day on each desk—must actively engage page designers. They should visit the News Desk and look at the pages and available news holes before determining the day's cutback. The goal is to establish story lengths that will work both for the words and for the design.

If a longer story is offered for A1 and does not make it, and it is to be published inside the A section or another section, it should be scrutinized for length, consistent with the design needs of the section.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jeremy: This is basic stuff that many mid-size papers have been enforcing for a long time. I don't want to have to read through 70 inches of bullshit when it's not needed; nor do most readers. It's just sad that it's taken the WaPo this long to realize it.

I have been at press confabs in DC with WaPo people--they make their questions WAAAAY longer than they need to in order to impress other people. There is an incredible arrogance among certain members of the Fourth Estate that their brilliant pieces of journalism need to be extremely verbose, and get anal when you cut (*cough* T.C. *cough*)

Mind you, some stories need to be long. But there are many that don't.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

A Sobering Reminder

I bitched and moaned constantly about not having money, to M's chagrin. Fear of what's to happen when I finally let this job go when I head on to Chicago. What's gonna happen if I can't sell these 2 houses of mine, or rent the one in Augusta.

Then I found this story on msn.com:

I make $6.50 an hour. Am I poor?

Here's how I slipped from the middle class into near poverty, and what I'm doing about it.

By Karen Datko

As a single professional woman, for years I sat securely among the lower rungs of the middle class.

Now I've fallen off the ladder.

In a matter of months, I went from a comfortable life with decent pay and health insurance to a $6.50-an-hour job with no insurance, no furniture and just enough resources to keep the wolf from the door.

I no longer buy anything unless it's absolutely essential. I spend $40 at the supermarket and make it last for more than two weeks. I never turn down a free meal. I've learned to graciously accept money, furniture, elk meat and encouragement from worried friends.

I am no longer proud.

I have no romantic notions about being poor. I'm not nobler than others, and I'm not a victim. But I am one minor medical emergency away from welfare.

Simply put, I'm in survival mode.

Here's my story in a nutshell: I lost my job as a managing editor at a small newspaper in Montana after the ownership changed hands. Six months later, I moved to Pennsylvania to take a similar job. My living arrangements fell through, and as I searched for a rental that would accept my three dogs, I lived in a campground. When it became clear that I'd be a campground dweller for a while, my boss fired me, telling me my living situation was "bad for business." I sold off my household goods -- everything from a sofa to pots and pans -- and drove back to small-town Montana.

I still own a house here. And I have a network of loving friends.

But now I know why most of my single women friends here work two or more jobs and think about the prospects of a bleak, impoverished old age. Good jobs with benefits are hard to come by here.

Life at $6.50 an hour

Once I got back to Montana, I started out my low-wage career working part time at a discount department store for $6.50 an hour (less than half of what I used to make) and part time as a salad maker and all-around kitchen slave at a local steakhouse, for the same low pay. But 13 hours a day on my feet and too little sleep were more than my 52-year-old body could handle. After a month, I quit the mind-numbingly boring shelf-stocking job.

The restaurant job isn't much better, making gallons of salad dressing, chopping lettuce and assembling relish trays. But it has its upsides. We can cook up "meat bits" on the grill and eat salad or baked potatoes. And the crew there is well worth the price of admission: Two of the servers bought me a gift certificate so I could afford to eat my birthday dinner there.

My take-home pay is about $660 a month. At $310, my mortgage takes the biggest chunk of that. Phone and Internet cost $70. Heat in winter is usually more than $100 -- it's Montana, after all.

Water runs $41 a month. The car takes $127. So, just about every penny is gone even before I buy gasoline or food for myself and the dogs.

Since I'm in the hole every month, I dip into my small savings to pay the difference, plus things like car insurance.

There is no room for error. At these wages, anything unexpected is a financial emergency. I worry especially about my health. I can't afford prescriptions, though I have used the county's health clinic rather than my own doctor.

Listing the wants and won'ts

Down to one job, I came up with new rules to govern how I spend:

  • When I think about buying something, I think about how many hours I have to work to pay for it. That's a sobering thought.

For instance, washing the steakhouse kitchen counters down with bleach water gave my fingers the consistency of coarse sandpaper. The gloves provided by the restaurant didn't help. My fingers began snagging the napkins and tablecloths when I folded the laundry.

The cost of good hand lotion? Three hours of labor. The cost of better gloves: a half-hour. But that's also $3 subtracted from essentials like paying the heating bill.

  • I try not to touch the small safety net I still have in the bank. It's there for emergencies, like a new transmission if my old van needs one or a new gas tank. The patches on the old tank have lasted far longer than anyone thought they would.
  • I will not touch my 401(k) and other retirement accounts. I'm better able to fend for myself now than I will be when I'm in my 70s.
  • I won't sell my house. It's cheaper than rent and provides more old-age security.
  • I have only one credit card and I use it only to purchase gasoline so I can monitor my spending on gas. I walk when I can, and if I have to drive, I combine several trips into one.
  • The programmable thermostat in my house is set at 63 degrees when I'm home, and at 60 when I'm not or I'm asleep. I sleep in pajamas and a flannel robe underneath a comforter and blankets.
  • I use half the recommended amount of laundry detergent and wash everything in cold water. I stopped using face cream and I buy the cheapest soap I can find.
  • I don't turn down free food. At a recent community gathering, people -- apparently noticing my dramatic weight loss -- gave me leftovers to take home.
  • I refuse to let my situation depress me -- most of the time.

It could happen to anyone

For Thanksgiving, I helped cook dinner at the home of the same couple I've shared the holiday with for five years. I looked at their kitchenware and wished I still had my own. Then I realized I was feeling sorry for myself.

When work at the restaurant is slow and I have time to feel the pain in my back, arms, feet and hands, I try not to think about what will happen if health problems mean I can't work. There's no sense in indulging such worries.

I remember there is no shame in being poor. Others seem to share that view. I was talking to one of my bosses about something I'd done in better times that involved spending money. I said, "I did that . . ."

". . . Before you were poor," she finished my thought matter-of-factly, without condemnation or pity.

The fact is, a fall from financial grace can happen to anyone. And in reality, I'm not really poor. The official poverty line for a one-person household is an income of $9,800 a year, and I'm still above that. And can I really be considered poor if I still have some savings, or still have my house?

I've decided that the only acceptable course of action, poor or not, is to consider this an opportunity. I used to wake up with the notion that my situation was temporary and that I'd somehow return to my "real" job. Now I have no illusions. But I do have solutions.

I've put in my notice at the restaurant in favor of a much better paying job at a new discount giant moving into town. The pay still will not be enough to live on, but it will do wonders to reduce my stress.

I've begun a pet-sitting business, taking care of pets in their own homes when their owners are away. I charge $10 to $15 a day, competitive with local pet boarders.

I volunteer my writing services for local nonprofits that I support. I've gotten active in community affairs that my previous occupation required me to keep at an arm's length.

I no longer define myself by what I do for a living. On the flip side, I won't base my identity on my income.

A number of readers have contacted us to find out how they might help Karen. Her response: "This really made my day. But I'm going to tell them to find someone closer to home who needs it more than I do." Karen hopes to deal with her circumstances through additional work and budgeting.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jeremy: Great article. It reminds us all that poverty is in the mind of the beholder, and that we are all just a few paychecks short of being less financially well-off than before. It is hard to remember that when you're dealing with the situation, but a little perspective is always beneficial.

Me: There was another story that tells of how a family on a $150,000 are struggling. Can you imagine?

Bob: Really a wake up call to all of us, I guess. You can earn alot and be poor too. Kind of depressing read

Patrick: "When it became clear that I'd be a campground dweller for a while, my boss fired me, telling me my living situation was "bad for business."

Excuse me? What kind of fucked up business lures someone clear across the country to become a freakin managing editor of a newspaper and then fires them when she has trouble finding a house? Either there's more to this story than she's revealing, or this is the single best case I've ever read of the need for stronger wrongful termination laws.

Me:From what I can surmise, a "small" newspaper may mean small circulation or weekly, which if is the case, managing editor means a do-it-all low-waged slave. I've heard of people who have to maintain a certain standard of livelihood befitting of their position. Why do you think that the new chancellor of Tech is living in a $1.65 million house? This expectation within or without such person would be met by where and how one lives, how and where one entertains, dresses etc. For instance, here at the A-J, the sales department women are forbidden to wear sleeveless tops, as that smacks of unprofessionalism to our clients (it really arises from ONE badly dressed gal and like the army, the rest of us suffers). It's all in the image. Despite what we choose to think, we not only represent ourselves to the public, we also represent what we do to them. Afterall, why do strangers often ask "Where do you work?" within the first few minutes of introduction?

Jeremy: We constantly have to have "dress code" reminder updates at every staff meeting thanks to a woman (who really should be gone from us, but was saved by the grace of a bureaucrat higher up in the university) who thinks sweatpants, sweatshirts and fuzzy house slippers are appropriate for work.

Patrick: I agree, it's silly to expect a managing editor to live like a homeless person. But if the paper is too small to help her with her housing needs, it shouldn't be hiring folks from Montana in the first place.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Say it to my face if you have the guts

Hmm, where shall I begin?

I took a turn into a near-vacant parking lot of an upscale strip mall this Sunday, almost near closing time, when I spied a guy walking across the lot, acting too cool with his layered shirts, and disheveled rock star hair. It wasn't his appearance that put me off, but you can read the attitude of a bloke who thinks he's too sexy for his looks and all that, cuz he didn't employ the basic road-crossing 101 and that is to look both ways.

Anyway, I was going in what M called my Mario-Andretti lead-foot pace and decided to teach this guy a lesson - that the world doesn't owe him shit.

No, I didn't floor the car and rev the engine. When he looked over at the last minute and spotted my car, he expected me to stop for me. Instead, I just glided by and he was the one who had to put on his brakes. Ha!

After parking, I made a hasty visit into a women's clothing store and not finding anything, I bounded out of the store and headed into another store. It was here that I got a rude awakening; although in looking back, I shouldn't be surprised.

The bloke and I crossed paths in opposite direction, and I heard him muttered loudly under his breath "Bitch."

I was taken aback as I don't recall having anyone call me a name before. I have professed to being a bitch myself, but to be called one at such close proximity, that was interesting, to say the least.

I evaluated the situation as I was browsing. And I thought that was quite chickenshit of him. And I was glad I didn't turn around and dared him to say it to my face cuz I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of a reaction. I was pleased with my handling of the situation until I spent the next few seconds still pondering the situation and that's when I started to panic.

Jeez, if he were that angry at me to do such a cowardly thing, what next? He knows my car, the lot is near vacant, he could very well key it.

I hastened my pace out the door and did a once-around on my car. Thankfully, it was left intact. That was close.

I guess what I got out of this experience is that it's not worth it to teach someone a lesson. With his attitude, he'll get his just dessert in due time.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bob: You were spoiling for a fight weren't you?? LOL, glad you made it out alive!

Jeremy: I say stalk him, and cut his face up the next time you see him. Or maybe not.

I know it's bad to wish ill upon those who cross your path, but I've been pleasantly satisfied to see people pulled over for speeding by the Georgia State Patrol who were tailgating me--as well as those who wind up flying off the road and hitting trees.

Ling... maybe we have some pent up rage that needs to be let out somehow. Maybe through boxing. Hmmm...

Patrick: I do not doubt that the guy was a complete asshole, but I gotta be honest--there is no way that, if I were in his shoes, I would take it as some sort of lesson to be learned. I would simply assume you were some self-centered, distracted, um, bitch. But then again, in New York, we don't wait when we get pissed off at drivers. I've actually screamed at drivers who've threatened me while I was crossing the street. It's a much more open and honest hostility, you know?

Me: He may not learn a lesson but at least I didn't let him get away with it.

You'll do great in China, where pedestrians and drivers and cyclists at constantly running amok of traffic laws. It's definitely a mob mentality.