A Tale of Sweat and Tears

"Thank you for choosing Bank of America. It is our goal that you be highly satisfied."

Yeah, try again. But not with me. Cuz you aren't getting my business ever again.

It's cliche to say I never thought the day would come to close on the house in Lubbock, but it certainly felt that way for since the beginning of July.

I did my homework by calling on a few financial institutions for preapproval and eventually settled on the one with the lowest interest rates and up to $2000 in closing costs covered by them. That would be Bank of America.

When the ordeal begins I don't rightly recall. It's definitely in the first week of July. But I do remember the process very well.

First, the rookie refused to give me anything in writing, not even a Good Faith Estimate, to show that my rate has been locked. I had asked him for 2 earlier for other houses we were interested in. We got those. But the final one, he said he wouldn't give because the "confirmation number" we got would be null and void and we would have to go to the back of the line, and that would slow the process down. But he assured me he will relock it in a few days' time at the same rate.

Well, in a few days' time, he called me and said we got the same rate but we also were hit with discount points. That's the money (roughly $500) we have to pay in our closing for relocking at a later time. I told him that I shouldn't be hit with those points due to his relunctance to lock the rates when I told him to, and that I am really furious with him for misleading him. I took the issue to his boss, who later reimbursed me with a credit to my savings account.

Second problem: the loan is now carried to the corporate BOA lenders who are checking for every detail in my past credit history. One of them called me and asked if I own any property. I told her I still own a house in Augusta, Ga., which I am currently renting. She indicated that is going to slow the process down as it wasn't "disclosed." I told her it wasn't "disclosed" because I wasn't asked about it, and wouldn't it be the local loan officer to ask me for every document (which he didn't ask for a single one) before sending my file up to corporate? They tried to pin it on me that I was "hiding" information. She said I told Bill the rookie I'm renting. I said, of course, I'm renting. I'm renting right now in Lubbock. But that doesn't mean I don't own a house somewhere, too. Bill the village idiot didn't ask the right question. And I can't think of providing every detail of my life as there's too much of it. The loan officer needs to ask the right questions. That's what they are paid to do.

Third problem: Another call from corporate. And they said this is the last one and we can close in a day or two. They need proof of my savings. That I have enough money in my bank account for the last 3 months, my paycheck, and my W2s from the last 2 years. I printed my bank statements from the computer as the paper version has not arrived. And I marched into Bill's office to have him copy and fax them to corporate. I got a call later that day saying they cannot accept the most recent statement as it doesn't have my account number on it. I told them the last "statement" is not a real statement as the month is not over yet. But if they use common sense and see that my name on it matches that from the 2 before it, it should work, right? But, no, they won't accept it. I called my bank and had a manager there fax me their copy with my SSN, name, account number.

Fourth problem: They called me that night (around 7 p.m.), and told me that they ran into another problem. The W2 shows a different name from the place of employment. I tried to explain to them that Mr. Morris, the man who owns the Augusta Chronicle, does not own only newspapers, but ranches, pecan farms, horses, tourist publications, radio stations, magazines, and they fall under the umbrella name that's on the W2s. They can google it and find out. But that took about 15 minutes of explanation and they said they'll do it tomorrow morning.

Oh, you'd have gathered the closing is not happening by now. But they said that should be last problem and we can close by week's end.

Fifth problem: They called and said the whole company name thing checked out OK, but do we know we are buying a leased land property? Now, this property works differently from most houses y'all would come to own, if you haven't already. We are on a state park. The house you buy belongs to you once it's paid for, but the land is yours for only 50 years. We don't care what happens after 50 years, personally, cuz we don't plan to be in Lubbock forever. But the bank is fretting over that. I told them I'm aware of it and am surprised they are not, since I asked every lender (3 if you recall) if they will lend for this particular venture. They all said yes. Bill the rookie said yes. Apparently, Bill the rookie didn't inform them that. Now, corporate is freaking out cuz this is something new to them.

Sixth problem: They need an appraisal. I told them they can get it from the seller who already has them. No, they need a new appraisal since they found out it is a leased land. We said fine, let us know when the appraiser is showing up.

Seventh problem: "Ling, why aren't you employed for 6 months?"
"Err, because I had to move and I can't find a job that fast. And I wanted to take a break."
" Can you write a letter explaining that?"
"Sure."

Eighth problem: "Ling, we can close tomorrow. But you have to pay PMI because you were unemployed for 6 months." Basically, the bank doesn't think I have the money to pay my mortgage.
"But I'm working now, and I'm not making any less from before."
It didn't matter with them. And they said the PMI is no big deal and I can pay it off fast.
I told them, I am still paying my PMI and it is not easy to shake off. Besides, the most important thing is, I told Bill the village idiot, when I decided to go with BOA, that I want an 80-10-10 loan so I won't have PMI, and that I also didn't want discount points.
Now, they try to hit me with both, one of which I managed to get out of.
They still insisted my 6 months of unemployment put me in an unfavorable light (that in spite of my near-perfect 750 credit score, and stable employment now), hence they can't give me an 80-10-10 but a 90-10.
I told them I need to talk to my husband about it but we are very likely not going to go with them if they insist on the PMI and 90-10.

Now, this is 3 weeks of ordeal, and 2 days before this final straw, we met with a local lender recommended by the Realtor. He went through all my papers, drew up a Good Faith Estimate, and basically told us all he needed was a letter explaining my 6 months of unemployment, a new appraisal and we should be able to close in 2 days' time. Oh, he had no trouble with Mr. Morris vs. Shiver Trading Co. vs Morris Communications. He googled it on the spot, and said it's no biggie.

And we closed on Friday, the last day of our vacation, with this local lender. BOA has cost me a vacation out of town when we were trying to close the week before.

So, BOA, you have a bunch of people not knowing the process, not communicating with one another. You basically have lost my business for life.
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Melissa: Ohhhh, Ling!!! Bless your heart!!! If it makes you feel any better, I understand how you feel! I went through almost the exact same thing when I recently refinanced my house. What should have taken a few weeks took several months. It was an absolute mess. And just like with you, the mortgage company wouldn't accept an online bank statement b/c the printout didn't have my bank account number on it (even though my name and address were!); they asked for pay stubs but then dragged their feet so long that they made me resubmit pay stubs again - not once, not twice, but THREE times; the loan officer quoted me a wrong estimate *and* told me if I accepted the estimate that he would pay off my credit card, but in the end when he couldn't do so, he waited to reveal that piece of information *after* I'd signed the papers, so now I'm locked into a piggy-back mortgage with exorbitant payments as well as the credit card debt... And on and on and on. They even screwed up the closing paper work so that in the middle of closing, we had to stop, have the company fax in the correct paperwork and then it was a week after *that* before I was able to close. Then it was 2 weeks after that -- and took a call from my lawyer -- before they deposited the money they owed me from the "cash back" into my bank account. It was unreal. I honestly considered going to the Better Business Bureau over this company. Their name is Eastern Residential Mortgage, by the way! Everyone, steer clear of them!! ... Anyway!! I'm so sorry about your fiasco!!! There's a special place in hell for those people! Bah!

Christina: Oh mY GOD Ling. I am so sorry you had to go through this with BOA, but from what friends of mine have gone through with them plus what I have read about them on various financial and credit-related forums, I can see you too have been a victim of the BIG CORPORATE MONSTER that is BOA. STAY AWAY PEOPLE.

Let me warn everybody about something else that can happen even IF you go with a local bank. I got my mortgage for the condo I own in North Myrtle Beach through a Columbia-based bank. Great experience. THEN three months later they made the "business decision" to sell their condo mortgage accounts to a huge corporate conglomerate, GMC Mortgage. This made me very unhappy but I didn't bother to complain. This is something smaller banks often do. And I have nothing really bad to say about GMAC except God help any of you if you deal with them and God forbid a check in the mail goes one day astray because of a holiday. GMAC's collections folks could summon the dead. They ought to call them to find Jimmy Hoffa.

But really, yes, Ling, it was the best thing to go with a local lender. Trust me I am only dealing with local banks and credit unions for the rest of my life. And I"M SORRY you had to go through this!!!!

Things nobody ever told you about house-buying Part 1

If you're ever going to buy a house, you'll find there are plenty of sites out there soliciting your money (Lendingtree brokers, etc) but very few that offer real-life advice. Here are a few of my humble tips if you are so inclined to pay heed to:

1. Do not bank with the big dogs
Especially Bank of America. It has consolidated so many banks that now it cannot even keep track of what it's doing. Saving that $2000 in closing costs is not worth the angst and ill preparation they put you through. Suck up the closing costs and negotiate on them if at all possible.

2. Do not have a rookie loan officer service you
In Texas, instead of having an attorney to handle the closing, we have what they call a Title Company. The title officer told us he asked the rookie for a most fundamental request and the rookie had no idea what he's talking about.

3. Save. Save. Save.
At least up to 20% of the house you're going to buy. For instance, if you think you can afford up to a $140,000 house, you need at least $28,000 for a 30-year conventional loan. If you cannot afford 20%, then go with an 80-10-10 loan. That means you pay 10% in closing cost of THE HOUSE (not all the closing costs that include fees, tax, insurance etc), and you are left with 2 loans at 80% and 10%. The 80% loan is lower in interest for 30 years, and the 10% loan is higher in interest for 15 years. You will now have 2 mortgages - 80% and 10%. But this will save you money in terms of not paying PMI.

4. PMI
It's the obscene interest you pay the bank for lending you money since you don't have 20% of the house price towards closing costs. The bank will try to tell you it is easy to get out of but it is NOT. Especially after they sell your loan to a different company, they do not have to deal with you anymore. That different company will require you to jump through lots of hoops to clear that PMI

5. Discount Points
What a misnomer. It's no discount. It's a fee the bank charges you to relock a rate. Be sure when you apply for a pre-approval that you specify you don't want discount points and PMI.

These are the lessons we've learned so far in our home acquisitions. I'm sure there'll be more growing pains to come. If you have any advice for me, I'm all ears.

Georgia still on my mind

I had the good fortune to return to Augusta for training last week. While I didn't get a chance to catch up with everybody, I did do a great deal of catching up with my ole friends from Augusta and Columbia, return to my old house that I'm renting, and got a trip down to Savannah and this time, really indulge in it.

The last time I was in Savannah was about 10 years ago with my good friend Sinclair. It was an impromptu trip to Jacksonville and we stopped in Savannah to see the squares, riverfront, and have lunch. It was also a trip where he introduced me to Monty Python Sings, when I got to pretend to be his subservient Asian mail-order bride to his friend (we fooled him good) and on the ride home, got soaked one side of me when his beat-up soft-top convertible on his gorgeous piece of antique gave slightly in a rainstorm. Oh, it was also a trip which my then-boyfriend got really pissed at me for taking a trip with another guy.
If it weren't so humid in the South, I will glad move back and be with y'all again. But I can't deprive the other states my temporary presence.

Anyway, for those of you who had not been to Savannah, here are pics: Beautiful Ole Savannah

Oh, and don't forget to click the other links below that read Savannah Misc., Savannah Architecture, Augusta 6/06

Another thing about the photo gallery for those not familiar with the interface: Click on the thumbnail to get the pic. Then click on the pic again to get a bigger pic.

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John Sinclair: Baby, if I could make my car spill on you again, I would. You were the perfect mail-order bride -- you even sang along to "I Like Chinese" with me. What can I say? We'll ALWAYS have Savannah.

Home on the ... canyon

Hi all, we have moved AGAIN! This time, we bought a house. What an ordeal and one that's still ongoing.

DO NOT BANK WITH BANK OF AMERICA. Too much bureaucracy, and if you're unlucky like us, you'll get a freakin' rookie handling your business. AAARRRGGGHHH.

Here's our new address should you plan to send a housewarming gift or even a Christmas card. I'm joking. No gifts, please. We are getting rid of shit we don't need.

223 Chuckwagon Rd, Lubbock, TX 79404.

Oh, here's the pics, and video to come once this craziness is over. Pray for us.

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John Sinclair: Holy crap, that looks beautiful. How many bedrooms? You taking visitors?
But Ling ... WHAT ABOUT THE MOSQUITOS???

Me: Not too many mosquitoes cuz the breeze is almost omnipresent. We have enough sleeping areas. Besides, there's always the camp ground! yup, you're welcome to pitch a tent!
Be sure to come soon b4 we leave Texas in the dust in a few years.

Christina: That looks gorgeous, Ling! Congratulations!
and I couldn't agree more on Bank of America.

House News 2

Remember the good news of the house we got? Well, we cancelled the contract. We are taking a risk by buying a house on the canyon, with a great view of the lake. It's one of the few water sights you'll get in this arid place.

Yah, it's messed up. Thing is, we could sign a contract and get the paperwork going right now. But I got locked into this other contract with that first realtor that's called a Buyer's Agent Agreement. NEVER EVER SIGN IT if you can help it.

When I first signed it, we thought that the first house is it. We were told this lake/canyon house is already sold. However, a runaway bride cancelled the contract and it's back up in the market.

Since I'm bound in this present Buyer's Agent Contract, which expires on June 30, the realtor of the canyon/lake house refused to go into any paperwork with me. (Note, she says it's HER listing. In other words, she doesn't wait to share her 6% commission. Greedy bastard. BTW, she lives in that area and thinks she is the grand po-bah of the listings there. Ego.)

Anyway, we decided to take our chances by taking her word that she will wait for us. Come July 1, which also is my b-day, we can get a contract going with her (that is IF SHE KEEPS HER WORD). Otherwise, it'll be a horrible b-day.

But is all lost? Not really, there are other houses shown by realtor 1 that appeal to us as well. So, we'll have a place to move into. But with time not being on our side, we may have to move stuff into storage, stay in an extended stay for a week, and move.

Housebuying is one difficult lesson of life.

Are you pregnant?

This is a question, women or men, should NEVER EVER ask a gal.

And it is this exact question I was stumped with at work in an e-mail today.

The question came from a colleague who's about 50 something years old, old enough to know better, and being a woman at that.

I know I'm not the hottest shite around. I know I've packed on a few pounds since my Myrtle Beach, Wichita, and Augusta days.

The point is such a question serves no purpose except to get around the real question -- are you packing on pounds?

For the uninitiated, even if you genuinely suspect a person is pregnant, don't ask her. Wait for her to share the good news. Preggies love to gush about it.

I know you men must be rolling your eyes now and saying I'm making a big deal. That hardly matters. What matters is I'm more confused than hurt that she, having had so much more life experiences than me, should know better.

Another side item, I received several compliments today about my green dress and jacket at work. And her comment was "You have a flower up your butt." What gives!?!?!?!

Oh, one more thing about this lady. She introduced me to an intern the other day. And she could have left it at my name, dept, and what I do. Instead, she decided to add that "Ling is also sleeping with the online director."

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Patrick: Wow, talk about someone to steer clear of! Even I know you don't ask someone that kind of question, for the exact reason that there's always a chance that she's not. I mean, that should be as embarrassing for the person asking the question as the person being asked.

As for the other questions, maybe she's just one of those people who when they get to a certain age, they decide that conventional manners don't apply to them anymore?

Me: That's what Mark thought - that she fancies herself old enough to not adhere to social mores. But he wasn't as sympathetic as you. Thanks, Pat.

Melissa: Wow. Nice or not, there's such a thing as "tact", and this woman definitely doesn't have it. I'm so sorry! But you know what? It also sounds to me like she's jealous of you!!! From her actions, she seems very insecure and possibly a tad bit threatened by you. But that's *her* problem! Acting so childishly certainly isn't going to endear her to anyone! Baaahhhh! LOL! Ya know, let her play this out. I've noticed that most people don't enjoy being around women like this. So eventually, she's only going to ostracize herself and end up miserable if she keeps doing this! Hopefully she'll change her tune when she notices that people aren't responding to her!! ... Of course, at the same time, I'm not saying to sit back and not stick up for yourself either! Next time she introduces you as the person who's "sleeping with the online director," just grin and say, "Why yes ma'am, I am! I'm a very lucky girl! ... And I'm not sharing." ;-)

Me: You know, other girls said the same thing as you -- that she's jealous? Of what? My youth? I do a different job from her. I have to play nice cuz we still have to work together, and she still has to return a pair of pants I had her alter. grrrrr

Christina: Wow...this heifer has just been inducted into my All Time Hall of Fame of Rude Idiots in the Office. My God. The pregnant question was bad enough. Yep, that's hugely tactless. But the other stuff? Either she's jealous or so insecure that she's trying desperately to mask her insecurity with inappropriate humor! My advice? Engage only in office-required civilities with her, and if needed, use the clever remark ala what Melissa suggested to make her shut up.
Truly, however,I thought I'd met some of the all time no-tact heifers at The State. But this one beats 'em!

Jeremy: O M G. I think she was born without a filter. Either that, or she's off her meds.

In the nick of time

We made an offer on a house and was accepted.

Surprisingly, we manged to find a house, with the help of an agent, over the weekend. We made the offer this Monday afternoon, and was accepted after the expected counteroffer.

And all in good time, too:

Our current landlord will be returning to our rental on July 22.

My in-laws (mom and 3 kids in tow) are coming to the Southwest for 2 weeks beginning July 14.

I'm going to training next week in Augusta.

And we are closing on July 13!!!!!

How close did we cut it?!?

There is a God. And the house is nice, too. It's in the neighborhood I want to be in - near a good supermarket, a park with tennis courts, pond, children's playground. And it has TREES!!!!!

Also, we believe property will be desired in the near future as there are lots of development coming up near it.

Oh, the floorplan is lovely, as well.