Are you pregnant?

This is a question, women or men, should NEVER EVER ask a gal.

And it is this exact question I was stumped with at work in an e-mail today.

The question came from a colleague who's about 50 something years old, old enough to know better, and being a woman at that.

I know I'm not the hottest shite around. I know I've packed on a few pounds since my Myrtle Beach, Wichita, and Augusta days.

The point is such a question serves no purpose except to get around the real question -- are you packing on pounds?

For the uninitiated, even if you genuinely suspect a person is pregnant, don't ask her. Wait for her to share the good news. Preggies love to gush about it.

I know you men must be rolling your eyes now and saying I'm making a big deal. That hardly matters. What matters is I'm more confused than hurt that she, having had so much more life experiences than me, should know better.

Another side item, I received several compliments today about my green dress and jacket at work. And her comment was "You have a flower up your butt." What gives!?!?!?!

Oh, one more thing about this lady. She introduced me to an intern the other day. And she could have left it at my name, dept, and what I do. Instead, she decided to add that "Ling is also sleeping with the online director."

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Patrick: Wow, talk about someone to steer clear of! Even I know you don't ask someone that kind of question, for the exact reason that there's always a chance that she's not. I mean, that should be as embarrassing for the person asking the question as the person being asked.

As for the other questions, maybe she's just one of those people who when they get to a certain age, they decide that conventional manners don't apply to them anymore?

Me: That's what Mark thought - that she fancies herself old enough to not adhere to social mores. But he wasn't as sympathetic as you. Thanks, Pat.

Melissa: Wow. Nice or not, there's such a thing as "tact", and this woman definitely doesn't have it. I'm so sorry! But you know what? It also sounds to me like she's jealous of you!!! From her actions, she seems very insecure and possibly a tad bit threatened by you. But that's *her* problem! Acting so childishly certainly isn't going to endear her to anyone! Baaahhhh! LOL! Ya know, let her play this out. I've noticed that most people don't enjoy being around women like this. So eventually, she's only going to ostracize herself and end up miserable if she keeps doing this! Hopefully she'll change her tune when she notices that people aren't responding to her!! ... Of course, at the same time, I'm not saying to sit back and not stick up for yourself either! Next time she introduces you as the person who's "sleeping with the online director," just grin and say, "Why yes ma'am, I am! I'm a very lucky girl! ... And I'm not sharing." ;-)

Me: You know, other girls said the same thing as you -- that she's jealous? Of what? My youth? I do a different job from her. I have to play nice cuz we still have to work together, and she still has to return a pair of pants I had her alter. grrrrr

Christina: Wow...this heifer has just been inducted into my All Time Hall of Fame of Rude Idiots in the Office. My God. The pregnant question was bad enough. Yep, that's hugely tactless. But the other stuff? Either she's jealous or so insecure that she's trying desperately to mask her insecurity with inappropriate humor! My advice? Engage only in office-required civilities with her, and if needed, use the clever remark ala what Melissa suggested to make her shut up.
Truly, however,I thought I'd met some of the all time no-tact heifers at The State. But this one beats 'em!

Jeremy: O M G. I think she was born without a filter. Either that, or she's off her meds.