The Value of a Symbol

A few days ago, I discovered my wedding band and ring were missing from my finger. I had never placed the importance of monetary value on this symbol of marriage when we purchased and chose them. But it always feels comforting to see the diamonds throw their sparkle when the light catches them.

With them absent from my finger, I suddenly realize the relative lightness on my hand and most of all, the emptiness in my heart.

These rings come to represent the iconic status of being a wife, a bride, to my beloved. While the physical aspect of it can be replaced, the brief (almost 3 years) history of it can't buy a new set. Am I succumbing to the diamond marketing industry of "a diamond is forever"? I should hope not.

I realized, too, that the anger I felt toward myself was due to the apparent carelessness and thoughtlessness I have towards them. I may have taken them off to wash the dishes, or my hair, or to prevent the bands from being scuffed during the laborious unpacking of boxes. But why didn't I show more care as to where I put them?

After a day of searching and backtracking, I had to let go. While M was convinced they were somewhere in the house and that they'll show up at some point, I was exhausted by my action.

The next day, refreshed by a night's sleep, I woke up to begin a new round of tearing the place down ... right after I have that cup of coffee. And there they were,two little circles sitting on the kitchen counter next to the sink. How they turned up, I've no idea.

I've come to yet another hard-learned lesson of being aware of my actions, my mind, and my environment. A little less rushing through life will be a good start.

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Christina: This is such a good blog...so full of meaning and so true! I have done this several times with the rose gold ring I wear on my right hand which was my Scottish great-grandmother's wedding ring. I feel exactly like you did when this ring is off my hand and I always kick myself when I realize how careless I can be with this real tangible symbol of my family and ancestors! Your sentiments about what your ring means to you were also beautiful. I'm glad you found it again!

Me: I don't think I ever told you how I remembered you thumbing your rings. Now I do the same thing. On a similar vein, I lost a gold bracelet my mom gave me when I was in college. And I still feel guilty about it.

Patrick: I hear ya! I hate it when I misplace my wedding ri...Oh wait, that's right. No one loves me like they love you! Cool story. Hold onto those sentiments.