The quest for cheap tuna

This story, my friend, is a glimpse of what's to come when you are watching every penny, and very possibly when we all hit that senior citizen stage.

Explainer: To my non-newspaper bloggees, an insert is that piece of advertisement that comes with the daily newspaper, most notably, the supermarket ones that show up either on Mondays and/or Wednesdays, primo placement days for food ads.

Anyway, I didn't know what possessed me to STUDY the Albertson's insert Monday. And boy, am I glad I did. There is an 8-hour sale from 3 to 11 today on tuna fish, mayo, Miracle Whip, diapers, toilet papers, water etc. What caught my interest was the StarKist tuna in water going for 29 cents (if you have your preferred card, dear customer). Wow, can you beat that! This is no generic brand. But each customer is limited to six cans per visit.

Before you deem me pathetic, let me explain the importance of canned tuna fish a la chicken of the sea to this family of 4 (2 adults and 2 pets). Two cans of tuna go a long way for us. Drain the juice (we get the ones in water. Oil is too messy) and Bubba gets a condiment bowl-ful of pure bliss. Scrape the drained tuna into a bowl, Mark and I get fixin's for a tuna salad. The scraps that cling to the inner rim and lid? That's Bentley's little taste of heaven. I have to add that our usually sedate cat gets extremely excitable when he has a whiff of that tuna. Makes you feel like you've done your job as a parent, y'know.

So, what would you do for 29-cent tuna? Well, if you were me, you rushed to the store in the morning, loaded up the basket and be informed that the sale begins at 3 p.m., oh, a mere 6 hours away. Drats.

Luckily, the day passed by quite quickly, and before I know it, I was hitting the first Albertson's. This is where I thought I ended up in a retirement home. All around me, a mass of energetic silver-haired seniors were loading up their carts, inserts in hand, making sure they didn't miss out on any deals. That explains why all the carts were gone. No matter, I only wanted one Miracle Whip and 6 cans of tuna.

The popularity of this sale was phenomenal. Rules were pushed to the wayside as the self-checkout counters and minimum-items counters were jam packed with shoppers, some of whom had never used the new technology in their lives. But never mind that, even the self-checkout lanes were staffed. That's service and great foresight, my friends.

Finally, I managed to leave with my goods. I would go back and get more tuna but the thought of waiting in line for another 6 cans is quite daunting. I decided to hit the second Albertson's.

Yes, I was desperate for a good deal. But I'm living on one income and I have an obligation to seize a deal when there's one. And this is too good to pass up. The second location is just as packed. Thankfully, I was directed to the customer service counter as I had only my limited 6 cans of tuna. That, again, was great customer service. There were only three of us in line. I wondered if I dared ask the cashier if I could return with another 6 after my purchase. I would have to see if she's pleasant. She was wonderful and told me I could return as often as I wanted.

Now, there comes a point when even desperation can seem well, desperate. I returned just once more, making out with a total of 12 cans (i.e. 2 trips) in the end, and happily loaded up my car and drove home.

I will be back later tonight for a few more. Afterall, I have till 11 p.m. One can never have too many tuna.