The New Low

Madness begins in March

2009-03-11T19:08:00.003-05:00

Not exactly the March Madness we all are familiar with in the U.S., aka basketball.

This madness I refer to is my anticipated manic obsession of an aunt-to-be to my only sibling's first child -- my niece!

I purchased the 1st 2 gifts for my July-bound niece.
At the top is a pyjama set that says I love Grandma. It's festooned with lots of cartoon heads. Center, is another outfit for her 1st Christmas. And let's not forget these first-time parents.

Why a girl!?! I'm not going to be able to resist all the cute clothes. Girls are expensive! hahaha. Payback!!!!

Now I have every excuse to shop, if not for myself, then it's for my niece. Ooh, I don't even want to think about the shipping costs. That's gonna hurt. :p

Odd weather

2008-12-28T01:22:00.003-06:00

The last 24 hours has to be the oddest weather pattern I've ever experienced.

I awoke in the middle of the night (Saturday early morning) to heavy rainstorm. No thunder was involved, but it was apparent several rain clouds passed by the region with sporadic heavy downpours.

This morning, after slept in late till 10:30 a.m., I woke to warm weather, around 40 degrees Fahrenheit (T-shirt weather in Chicago winter), with practically all of the weeks' accumulation of snow melted from last night's storm.

But the rain clouds came and went throughout the day. Reports of flash floods were rampant, so much so I endured cabin fever and watched TV, cooked, read, and baked.

Then around 11 p.m., a series of power outages came and went.

Now at "press time", snow is starting to fall.

What is going on?!

Greed

2008-12-14T10:06:00.003-06:00

This word goes against the grain of this time of the year, when Grace, Charity and Goodwill are usually consciously thought of. Particularly in the state of the newspaper industry that is hurting so, the act of greed is not tolerated.

Yet, here's an act of one that sends anger to my blood, and makes me ill. Shocked, unfortunately, I'm not. Money makes the rich want to have more (think politicians, and that brings to mine, Gov -- urgh, I cringe to say that -- Blago. Bloody Blago is what I will call him).

http://newsosaur.blogspot.com/
Read the post on Dec. 12

Roadside Illinois 1

2008-11-23T09:12:00.006-06:00

Every state, particularly Kansas IMHO, has a lot of superlatives to claim for quirky roadside attractions -- think biggest ball of twine, biggest hole, biggest farm machinery, biggest barb wire museum etc.

Illinois, and my nearby Chicagoland suburbs, has its own to brag about, too.

The husband first alerted me to the Leaning of Tower of Pisa copy, and he drove me to it yesterday en route to the Museum of Science and Industry. And was I bowled over by it.

It is in the city/village of Niles. And it is a beautiful replica of the real thing (I was told the scale is smaller). Along the driveway, there is also a telephone booth (sans phone) with the Italian "Telefono" sign. Hilarious.

I present to you, the Leaning Tower of Niles, essentially a water tower. And it stands in the grounds of the Niles YMCA, aptly named Leaning Tower YMCA.

The worst of times has not even hit yet

2008-11-11T19:59:00.004-06:00

and I'm sick, sick to the depths of my stomach that I will have these horrific stories to tell future generations of my generation's bad economic times, layoffs.

Today, I found out via facebook.com that a friend, an ex-colleague got her pink slip in Augusta, Ga., and it makes me sad for her. Her mother passed away years ago, her father is ill and couldn't contribute much to the family (as far as I could tell, I never dared pry). She has a brother but he has his own family to care for. She learned the newspaper trade by chance, it's not something she chose. And while she's not the star copy editor, she has held her own very well. I won't know the reason why she's one of the 15 picked this time to be deemed not valuable. I know very well though that she must be questioning her self worth compared to so and so.

My husband did not survive the 2nd round of layoffs in Knight Ridder many years ago, and I was dismissed early about 2 years ago by a Morris company. And those were not pleasant. While crying is generally more acceptable for girls, for men, it's still taboo.

I never want to relive those moments again, but in these bad economic times, when downsizing is so rampant, one can never tell when the bad news were to come from the top.

I was hired into this job with a 5% reduction in salary at the time of offer. Then another cut came 6 months later when we were all offer a furlough day in exchange for 8 fewer hours pay a month.

When is this madness going to end?

Back to the fundamentals of reading

2008-10-20T19:35:00.002-05:00

I finally joined a book club.

It's been a while since I opened a good book and finished it. I would say it would be 2-3 years ago that I was reading consistently.

Even though we are avid book buyers, we hardly finish some of the many book from beginning to end. It's always the impulse buy where we were drawn to the cleverly crafted titles and we thought we could easily finish it. But it just didn't turn out that way.

Another reason I stopped reading for a while is that when I was finished with all that particular author's collections, who would I read next?

Sure, there are the classics that I need to tackle. But ...... no good excuses.

So, I figured like exercise (which is something else I need to tackle), I would join a club that makes me accountable and also introduce me to other authors I wouldn't otherwise read.

The next meeting is on Nov 4, Tuesday. We are reading John Grisham's take on a nonfiction, The Innocent Man. I've seen his movies, they are good, but never felt compelled to read his book. This should be interesting.

Always wary ... that's my game

2008-10-05T12:34:00.003-05:00

I've always been untrusting of people.

A good girl friend of mine, C, can tell you that. We first met a job fair. I was waiting for the prep talk to begin when C came up and sat right next to me, in spite of all the empty chairs around. I was right to assume that she chose me because I'm Asian like her, and we share that common bond.

We got to talking, and she was giving me pointers on who to see. We also found out we went to the same college in Michigan. Of course, at that moment, I was highly skeptical, but she pronounced the city perfectly (not easy for someone who's not familiar with it at all), and I knew she was legit. Later, we went for lunch. And from there on, it's the start of a beautiful friendship.

Yesterday, another incident brought to mind my untrusting, always careful, approach to strangers.

Maybe some of you have encountered walk-in ATMs where you need to swipe your card to enter the lobby. That step is generally required when the bank is closed during business hours.
It was my 3rd time doing that, and for the first time, when I was doing my transaction (which involved balanace checks and withdrawal) that someone came up and stood outside.

At first thought, I thought he's not a member of the bank, which is why he was standing outside, and not come into this big lobby. He looked suspicious to me, too -- big RayBan-esque shades, wild and crazy hair, and not too kempt. I thought he was hoping that I would let him in. But I didn't. I positioned myself to hide the ATM when my cash was spitting out. By then, there were 2 more people waiting, both women. Only then, I felt I was safe. If the guys tried to do anything, like wrangle my purse from me, I have witnesses.

It turns out he is a member of the bank. As he saw me walking towards the door to leave, he proceeded to swipe his card and get in.

I learned later that the protocol in such situation is that regardless of how big the lobby is, if someone is performing a transaction inside, everybody should wait their turn outside.

Can you imagine if the situation were reversed? I would be the asshole who intruded on his space.

Boy, do I feel like a moron, and worse yet, an ass.

Weather, And under it.

2008-09-30T22:27:00.003-05:00

It's getting cold. The space heater's out. But I have a migraine (although that could have resulted from my friend J who called my phone at 4:18 am) that usually exacerbates from the cold snap.

This afternoon, the air was crisp. I loved it. But tonight, I was wrapped up in a soft throw while watching TV in the "basement".

I love Fall. The light coats, choice of closed and open-toed shoes, short and long skirts, hot chocolate, soups, crockpot meals. Tomorrow, Oct 1, in Chicago, we're having a high of mid-50s. Now, if only the migraine goes away, I can truly enjoy it.

Ooh ooh that smell

2008-09-06T20:19:00.005-05:00

My cat is offically a douchebag, so says M, the husband. hahahaha.

That is a wet cat cleaning itself. That blue bottle with the white stem is a douche, the feminine product.

So, why the unfortunate association for Bubbs?

For days now, he smells like either a skunk had mildly attacked him or a strong industrial chemical had sprayed him. M didn't seem as bothered by it. But my eyes are stinging!

So after consulting with a friend whose dog had been sprayed by a skunk, and through some internet research, it was said that douche is another method.

Sadly, it has not worked too well. Not the douche, nor the peroxide-baking powder mix and bath.
The house reeks and I cannot allow him in the bedroom. I think the next stop may be the vet on Monday.

Poor bubs, the douchebag.

Food hangups

2008-08-31T08:33:00.005-05:00

I'm truly fortunate to grow up in Singapore. Because of her location's integral ties to maritime activity, historical and present, we have the luxury of influences from all over the world, including our gastronomy. That said, it is of little wonder that most Singaporeans are inclined to try almost any food once.

Sure, there are some items I will never voluntarily eat again. But let it not be said I never gave it a shot. Tripe, chitlins, chicken feet, Beijing street food, to name a few.

So, it was with great delight a friend gave me some bacon-flavored toothpicks and bacon mints the other day. I admit it's certainly not an appetizing concept, but it's fun. I doubt I'll be finishing up the mints anytime soon. But I at least I gave it a shot. It wasn't bad, you can actually taste the slight hint of mint after the coating of bacon flavor wears off.

I offered it to colleagues the other day. One I simply told him what it was, and he instantly turned his nose up. The other one, I opened up the can, revealing the white mint contents, and offered her the mint, not telling her it's bacon-flavored. Only when she popped it in her mouth, I asked if she tasted something different about it. Aha. She stopped sucking and with it still lying on her tongue, asked what it was. When she learned it was bacon mint, she spat it out right away.

Now, if something tastes good or even all right, why the hangup when you know what you're eating? If it's poison (and even if I truly detest you, I doubt I'll be feeding you that), such action will be understandable. But why not give everything a shot?

In every instance, if it had been told to me what it was, I would actually tasted it more discerningly, and determine the results.

Same thing with chitlins. I had known for a long time what it was and though, curious, never wanted to attend a darn festival celebrating itThen a roommate brought it home, and it smelled horrible. But I thought I'd give it a shot. The instant it touched my tongue, the flavor was so rancid I should've spat it out. Instead, I bit down on it, and the juices of whatever just oozed into my mouth. Never in my life had I spat and gagged at the same time. It was truly repulsive.

But hey, to each his own, and don't let ME influence you all THAT much if you had to try it or not. With chitlins, liver, tripe, chicken feet, or even bacon mints.

Return of the Ex

2008-08-19T22:49:00.005-05:00

The idea with Facebook or myspace is so we'll reconnect with present and past friends. As usual, my criteria for friends request and acceptance bear no consistency. I've added those I was never close with, but with the desire that through the add, there'll be a concerted effort from both ends to start the friendship that was barely there. Then, there are those I refuse to add and likewise for them, have no inclination to ever reconnect.

And there's always that one past that will return to find you. The Ex.

I've only had 2 "real" boyfriends my whole life. Him and my husband. There're the frivolous dates, but I don't consider them monumental individuals. Yes, every one of them has helped shaped my perspectives and matured me slightly.

So yesterday an email popped up in the inbox asking if I was the person he thought I was. I was stunned he contacted me, but I wasn't shocked that he would find me. Afterall, we all came up with almost every name we could remember from our past when we joined Facebook, just to see where the heck they are, and what they look like now. Disclosure: I did a search on him as well. HOWEVER, I NEVER thought for a second to send him a message. Hence, his check mate move.

In fact, about 10 years ago, he called me at work in Wichita, Kansas. At that moment, I was caught unprepared and felt stalked. I lashed out at him for tracking me down. And I remembered this. He got the defensive (why wouldn't he) and told me not to flatter myself, that he is happily married to some Israeli woman. Well, good, I said, I'm glad. And that was it.

So when he tracked me down again a day ago, I had about 10 years of maturity since and having talked to the husband about our pasts, I was wiser to handle the situation this time.

I responded immediately and acknowledged it was I, and proceeded to ask how he and the family, which includes his, his mom, and sisters are. That's it.

What I would get out of it, was a laundry list of what he had been doing the last 10 years.

I'm glad I didn't respond in kind. In fact, I'm playing the waiting game. I needed the time to evaluate what an immediate response is going to do to his fragile psyche.

I relayed the incident to a colleague today. And as always, she ties her thoughts up in a neat little package. She agrees that a needy personality like his is going to leap if I am quick in my correspondence, and opens up an unintended invitation back into my life. And she said there's a fine line between civility and friendship, and I don't have to offer him friendship if I don't wish to. But there's certainly no need for cold shoulders.

So I don't feel bad. I should be polite and kind, but I don't need to offer or accept his friend request.

Nooooooooo

2008-08-18T20:18:00.004-05:00

My favorite chain coffee shop, Caribou, sends me coupons every so often. And today, I received the most depressing one yet.

I refuse to acknowledge that summer is coming to an end.

There goes the vacation plans

2008-08-18T19:53:00.003-05:00

This afternoon, late of course, I received a call from my tenant in Augusta, that only a few electrical outlets are operational, and no electricity is available in the house.

How long has it been, I asked. Turns out he had been battling it since the weekend. Poor things.

He wasn't stressed, and I'm grateful for it. So I shouldn't either.

But at 4 p.m. CST, 5 p.m. EST, how on earth am I able to find an electrician to head on over? I called the contacts I have and had a couple of recommendations. But one of them couldn't go over until morning. Of course.

It sounds like one heck of an expensive job. The circuit breaker is not working, and I fear the entire old house has to be rewired. Ouch. I may have to take out a home equity loan. I don't even know how that works.

Home ownership is overrated and sucks. But if I should take away any lesson all these years from home ownership is that repairs are going to happen, sometimes they are affordable, sometimes not. There's nothing to do but be responsible landlords and adults, and take care of business.

I'm almost semi-famous

2008-08-12T21:20:00.005-05:00

Many moons again, when I was working in Wichita, Kansas, I aided Rod Pocawatchi, a colleague and friend, as a script supervisor and a continuity "editor" in his movie "Dancing on the Moon".

Rod(rick) worked his butt off, working through the weekends and nights on every aspect of production. He wrote the script, shot, acted and edited. He also held a Hollywood Red-Carpetesque premiere of his movie in a downtown Wichita theater.

I had no idea his movie information was posted in IMDB, the movie database of authority until Mark told some friends that my name was in there, too.

Today, I did a search, and sure enough, there I am!

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1473973/

Original McDonald's

2008-08-09T00:23:00.004-05:00

We were driving around the other night and stumbled upon the original location of McDonald's in Des Plaines. It is a museum now. The video is not top quality as it's shot from my digital print camera. But it'll do for now.

Pets at play

2008-08-08T23:55:00.005-05:00

I have absolutely no energy to post anything new. Here're a couple o videos of pets at play in our dog park in Illinois. And yes, there's my Bentley, with his Napolean complex, wanting to join the big boys.

I ... can't ... keep ... up

2008-08-06T00:24:00.000-05:00

Myspace, Facebook, Yahoo, hotmail, gmail, yelp .... HELP.

There're too many socializing I'm doing these days, that like my messy house, I need to start cutting back on collecting stuff.

I know the day would come that I will be giving up one of these, and myspace is it.

Some of my friends have defected long ago. Blogger has been the drawing power to Karen, Gen V, Jeremy, Amber. It's time I make the move too.

I think you guys will like it. We are able to link to each other's blogs, and more importantly, stay connected to each other's lives.

I don't think I'll be as illustrious as Jeremy to be posting digests in myspace. For one, I don't roam the Web enough to cull interesting bits of news. Secondly, I'm not as diligent in my blogging. So I hope my loyal friends who want to continue to be filled in on my sometimes exciting life to continue giving me your feedback in http://thenewllow.blogspot.com/
I'll be checking in every once in a while, but I'll be phasing myself out and cancelling my account before long.

See you in blogger.

I've no business in politics

2008-06-03T22:22:00.004-05:00

I simply don't understand how the great minds of politics work. And I totally lack any diplomatic overtones and savvy networking skills. The latter, I got to get a handle on. I'm in sales now, damnit.

Anyway, the hot news today is that Hillary conceded to Obama. And there's suggestions in almost every news outlet that suggests she hopes Obama would make her his running mate?

Seriously, I can't even get a colleague I can't get along with to willingly shake my hand after a confrontation and resolution with the boss. So how can someone who has played such a nasty game of backstabbing campaign hope that she would be selected as VP? The gall.

This was an opponent who took every opportunity to put him down for his lack of experience, and now she wants a part of his campaign?

Is this how the big boys and girls play the game? Am I so innocent to hope hat one day, there'll be decent public servants who are in this for the country and not themselves? Was there ever a simpler, more honest time in politics anyway, ever? Geez, I'm so naive.

- 30 -

Patrick: If you think it's bad now, imagine what it must have been like before 1804, when the Vice President's office went to the person who got the second most votes for president. Poor John Adams had to put up with having as a VP Thomas Jefferson, a man from an opposing party who, as we all know, would go on to follow him and become the country's third president.

It's been said that on many levels, Hillary and Obama have more in common than they do differences. If they can just remember that, then it should be possible for them to put aside their personal distastes. WEll, one can dream, anyway....

Christina: Nope, unfortunately there was never a simpler more honest time, at least in this country.

The stupid thing that nobody seems to realize is it doesn't matter whether we elect Obama, McCain or Zippy the Pinhead to be president. Even the Apostle Paul couldn't get things done in this country if and when there is an opposition party in control of Congress. Look how little the Democratic majority Congress has gotten done.

We really need more than one party in this country. But that's not going to happen in our lifetimes. I also doubt I'll ever see a woman president.

Jeremy: I'm beginning to think a bloody insurrection might be the only way to change, but that's usually when I haven't had my coffee in the morning. :P

I can't handle my fame

2008-04-28T22:20:00.002-05:00

The subject line is in jest, but it doesn't stray from the point that I have friends who constantly wants to do stuff with me. And I don't know how to turn them down. When I do, I feel rotten.

I made a friend here about a year ago, and she's the most caring, sweetest gal. Her husband is wonderful and we as a couple get along well. It's difficult to find another couple whose significant other you like. So I cherish them, and once in a while, involve them in our weekend or late-week activities.

That said, she has a habit of constantly wanting us to join them at meals, weekends (we don't agree on most of the food. Let's just say I'm a bit more discerning or picky, go to their home etc. And she's constantly instant messaging me on the most mundane goings-on in her day.

We. I, need alone time to ourselves. I've turned down enough invitations that I feel I'm giving her the cold shoulder. But I'm not. I just can't afford to spend on eating out constantly. And they don't cook, so they eat out a lot (hence, happy hour).

Sometimes, I just want to be with Mark and be alone. Sigh.

I'm sure you have had similar situations. How did you handle it?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Bob: Basically, she is under your "when I have time" friend.

I am typically very honest about my priorities, so I do not pretend like I even like to entertain. Most of my friends know that I hate to go out and spend "useless" hours chatting about "mundane" stuff.

Most of my entertainment has an agenda attached, either for biz or some child's birthday. The rest I just turn down.

AND SOON THEY STOP ASKING!!! ha ha...yeah, I feel out of the loop sometimes, but hey, better than miscommunication right?

I am not a popular guy, but at least my friends know when THEY CALL ME, they will get the help they need!

It is funny, becos my friends call me when their wife is delivering, their child's sick, they need school advice, they need biz advice...BUT NOT when they have parties going on. Jeez...but I prefer it this way!

I hope your friend understand the "real" you. I've known you since I don't know when, so I guess I know that you are not exactly the "entertaining" sort and needs to put in an effort to be around friends and relatives. Sometimes, you just have to show your "true" self.

Me: I don't want her to stop asking, I just want her to stop asking every few days, every week....

Karen: why should you feel bad!? and you said she is nice and asks nicely... and when someone asks, they expect either a yes or no... so you really don't need to explain yourself. just say you have plans already... easy as that. you don't need to explain what you're doing, with who are why she's not invited. sometimes, people just like to hang out at home with absolutely nothing to do, doesn't she know that?!

sms her mundane things you do lol! stuff like 'just laying here naked with mark and enjoying every second of it' - or 'gonna' go take a dump and thinking of you' hahahahaha! i'm sure she'll cut down her sms's to you lol! if she doesn't, i'll give you more awful suggestions :D

Me: Shit! She'll love the mundane stuff. She does that to me all the time. It's worse than twitter content!

Not a good idea!

As for explaining myself, cuz she will follow up with wanting to know specifically what I have in mind. I always truthfully tell her I'm tired. I am.

She has cabin fever, so she likes to go out. grrrrr

John: If you don't go out with these people you're a horrible person and everyone will know it.

Dan: First -- be honest with them. If you can't afford to go out, say so. If you two want to have a "you" night at home, say so. Don't start making weird excuses and then get caught up in a tangled little web.

Second -- keep including them in your plans. They obviously enjoy hanging around y'all as well, otherwise she wouldn't be texting you and calling all the time.

After that, just let it roll. They'll eventually figure out how you work and things will be fine. Or they won't, and minor drama will ensue, and you will hastily cut yourself away from it. Because you hate drama (and who doesn't?).

Me: OMG, I tell her that I can't afford ALL THE TIME!! She says that her husband wishes she's more like me, in the frugal sense. LOL.

Yeah, I've quit responding to the IMs. I told her that I don't pay for unlimited texting, and I'm already close to mid-way with her incoming ones and I'm less than 3 weeks away from my billing cycle!

I do include her in the plans, just not all of them.

In the interest of knowledge ...

2008-03-21T22:19:00.001-05:00

I tried to resist, thought I fought the good fight but I lost. I’m sadly another registered number in the Facebook network.

I put off friends’ invitation with the valid reason I don’t need another site to login to and update.

Like M, the reason I joined was in the interest of learning more of the everchanging or everadapting internet. There’s just no escaping it.

So, see you there.

Gaming is just not my thing

2008-03-09T22:18:00.001-05:00

I'm now a Wii owner. And it is MY game; M doesn't find it as kickass as his computer gaming.

The last time I was serious about any computer gaming is back in the late 70s, early 80s when Atari and some handheld heavily-pixelated graphics device were popular. I wanted the Wii because I played it once at a friend's place and I really enjoyed the tennis. That comes in the Wii sports console, but I wanted to try other games. As I'm not very coordinated with those switch-multitude-weapons games, I borrowed Super Paper Mario from a colleague,thinking I should begin slow. It's afterall jumping and running.

Wow, am I behind the times. It's so much more complicated that I have to consult cheats on the Web. I've only logged in 6.5 hrs of play and already, I'm frustrated and ready to give up. Thank goodness I didn't buy it.

Don't be surprised if I decideto sell the console after a year. Who wants first dibs?

I'm OCD --- can you believe that!!!!

2008-03-05T22:17:00.001-06:00

I finally succumbed and made an appointment with a dermatologist. The reason - I'm suffering from the effects of Chicago's winter -- DRY HANDS.

I can't believe it when a simple loose skin on my finger that I love to peel spiraled into an obsession when more showed up on my fingers and palms. It got to the point that I would peel till I bled and my fingers started to hurt. Suffice to say, I stopped. But the skin got worse and moisturizing seemed to make it slightly better (to look at) but it didn't heal. The fingers now were rough, clenching my fingers felt stiff and I lacked the ability to grip.

Friends and M were telling me to stop each time I reached to peel or tear or bite a loose piece of skin. I stopped my obsession, knowing it was not helping. As my fingers started to heal, they also looked stretched and scaley, like a mummy, and inflamed.

I finally made the appointment yesterday to the dermatologist. I was getting fearful it might be some sort of fungus (a hand's version of athlete's foot, if you will) and I needed an expert's opinion on it.

He diagnosed it as a simple case of dryness. Then he asked me how times I wash my hands in a single day. I computed quickly in my head the shower, face-washing, dishwashing, toilet visits and came up with "at least 10." He told me to reduce it, that I shouldn't be washing my hands that much. I asked if I was bordering on obsessive disorder compulsion and he said yes. I couldn't believe it. Those were regular rituals, I said. He told me that I should also take shorter showers and use less hot water as the latter can be very drying. It all makes sense but it requires a complete turnaround in my lifelong habit.

Here's a few good advice:
1. Use hand lotion for hands, don't use regular moisturizer. I understood that immediately. In my initial self-remedy, I moisturized my hands liberally and they felt wet. The reason: the first ingredient in all non-hand moisturizers is water!
2. Buy a pair of white clothed gloves and put them on at night after moisturizing.
3. Don on gloves while washing dishes by hands.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Christina: Wow! I had no idea of all this stuff about hand dryness. I have chronic hand dryness and now I see that part of the problem is I use my regular moisturizing (body) lotion on hands as well! didn't know there could be a case of washing hands "too many times." I wash mine at least eight or nine times a day because since I live with dad and he has compromised immunity, we have to be ultra-clean! I hope your condition improves! I really don't think you have true OCD, though. I've known OCD folks and they wash hands like 20 or 30 times a day and can't touch anything almost without having to wash or sterilize their hands. Glad you went to the doctor!

Me: Yeh, what is he going to say about you and your dad's situation! How about dem doctors who have to scrub like crazy?

Why rush into marriage?

2008-02-26T22:14:00.000-06:00

I don't get it. Someone I know at work had been dating for less than a year before he packed up and moved to Chicago cuz his girlfriend wanted to move back to be with family, moved into an apartment together, and now, just a few months more than a year, are engaged and planning an October wedding.

She appears to be the alpha in the relationship and he the puppy dog. Sweet guy, nice girl. But I foresee trouble.

So when I was stopped in the hall for this "good news", the only thing I can force myself to say is "Congrats and marriage is great!"

Who the hell am I to bust his bubble, right?

UPDATE!!! aarrrghhhhh, now he's sent people at work pictures of the ring and them kissing! What????????

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Channing: Exactly, when it comes to love no one wants to hear that they are making a mistake.

Me: So true, Hef. Lord knows I opened my honest mouth once too many times in the past. Grrrrr.

Christina: You did the right thing, to bite your tongue and just give the congratulations. Trust me, I have a lifelong friend who is about to make the biggest mistake of his life. I tried to talk to him about it and it was like talking to a cement wall. I've just decided it's futile to try to tell people what to do. But in this scenario you describe I too foresee trouble!

Bob: We learn from our mistakes.

Jeremy: Love is intoxicating and it sounds like there might be some co-dependency issues there--just sayin. You did the right thing Ling -- he'll have to learn for himself, the hard way. All you can do is send good vibes/pray/think good thoughts for him.

Patrick: I find that in instances like this, the best course of action is to ask questions that'll make the person really think twice about what they're doing. If you play dumb, you can't be accused of meddling, right?

Me: Hmmm, what would you ask?

Patrick: You know, stuff like "Why do you think things clicked so fast?"

The Barefoot Hostess

2008-02-17T22:13:00.001-06:00

One more time and hopefully, I don't hit some button by mistake and have to restart.

This recent weekend, I played host to my fabulous Singapore girlfriends whom I met eons ago in Wichita, KS. One has moved to Indianapolis 2 year ago and the other is a really accomplished nurse in Wichita. This was their 2nd visit in less than a year and I couldn't be happier about it.

One thing I've learned from having 7 groups of guests in less than a year is I am glad I don't own a B&B, and that I simply lack the energy to keep up. Since Thursday, I had stayed up past 12 (I know, shocking right?), talked nonstop (other than work) and learned that I've good friends.

Living in a tourist-envy city means doing same things multiple times. In this instance, my foody-crazy friend went to the same restaurant 2 meals in a row (dinner one night, lunch the next day) and we ordered the same meals! Then, being typical Singaporeans, after eating, we shopped! So we didn't venture downtown, and that's OK. I refuse to fork over money for another ride up the Sears Tower or do the museum. Now, if you have a game ticket to say, oh, any professional sports team, I've no qualms returning.

So, who's next?

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Christina: What a cool looking group of friends! And you have always been the hostess with the mostest! I promise at some point I'm coming to Chicago...but I won't make you go up in the Sears Tower! Already been there! I'd mainly like to do the sports team thing and the shopping (besides seeing you and Mark of course!) :-)

Reliving old blogs

2008-02-14T22:10:00.000-06:00

Another senseless school shooting, this time at Northern Illinois University, and I am still sitting in the newspaper building, waiting on Mark to finish updating the site. We carpooled.

In the last 3 hours, I returned to reading all the blogs I'd written and realized a few things:

1. I can write good.
2. I went through quite a bit of drama the last year and so.
3. You guys rock.
4. I miss blogging.
5. I need to blog more often.
6. I'm in Chicago, a happening place, why aren't I blogging?
7. I need to take more vacations to blog more people and places.
8. I need to save money and quit buying shoes and clothes just because I'm working now.
9. I need to save up for another house purchase.
10. I have good renters now, and I hope they'll stay for a good long time.
11. Some of you need to start blogging again!
12. Some of you need to come hang out in Chicago with us!

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Melissa: I totally agree about the "some of you need to come hang out in Chicago" one!!!

Me: Hey, when you don't have to pay for exorbitant lodging and I'll drop your ass at the train station (should you come on a weekday), why not!

Jeremy: I'll come to Chi-town when it gets warmer :) Meanwhile, next stop: San Francisco, April 3-9.

Something so basic

2008-01-29T22:07:00.000-06:00

We finally got a bed, the real deal like headboards and rails. After 10 years together, we finally have a real bed.

We've been sleeping on an IKEA mattress on the floor for the last year, and I had kinda gotten used to it. But my boxsprings arrived yesterday, and before we had time to put the bed together, we decided to prop the mattress on the box spring. Oh My Freaking Goodness, what a difference a GOOD boxspring makes.

I had other boxsprings before but I don't think they are that superior. And honestly, for less than $400 for a set of boxsprings (we have a king bed now), they make a world of difference. I actually feel the support. Perhaps my getting older has gotten me sensitized to feelings of comfort in my old bones.

So the moral of the story is, if you guys are still sleeping on futon beds, or mattress on the floor, then save up and get yourself a good boxspring. Mine is a Sealy Posturepedic. And don't go for the coils. Overtime, they will lose their springiness and you'll definitely feel the pain.

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Patrick: Aw, I wish I had the room for a real mattress. It's hard enough to lift a futon mattress up eight feet onto my loft bed. Sweet dreams!

Me: Funnily, I was thinking of you when I wrote that, wondering how the small apartment in NYC would allow for any decent furniture.

Patrick: It forces one to be creative. I'm going to take a slew of pictures of the place this week, and you'll see what I mean.

Christina: Good for you! I recently finally replaced my 20-year-old mattress and boxspring with a brand new one I bought from a former co-worker moving away. She had spent like $500 on this awesome mattress and boxspring set plus wrought iron bed frame, put it in her guest room, and never used it, then decided to move to Canada. I got a great deal on it! It does make a difference to have a quality mattress and boxspring -- I speak as an ancient mattress/futon veteran of many years!

Paralyzed by Cold

2008-01-19T22:05:00.000-06:00

Hello, here's a warm welcome from the Windy City.
Today is a purported -7 degrees, with a real feel of -17 degrees.
As I got up to close the vents on the rooms we are not using, to maximize heating in other areas of the house, and to minimize wastage, I felt a draft coming from a window near the vent. I pulled the curtains apart and saw this: Frost gathering INSIDE my window.

And ICICLES and frost INSIDE my kitchen window:

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Jeremy: Makes things down here seem downright toasty by comparison. BTW, send me your e-mail address and I'll send you the highest res I have of the pansy-snow picture.

Patrickl: Wow, that sucks. I totally feel your pain. This month in NYC seems to have been one long seesaw between frigid and dry and slightly less frigid but pouring rain. It's not even remotely pretty like snow.

Channing: Wow, that looks rough. I was in Boston last week. We got between 8 - 10 inches of snow my first night there. I was not happy.

There is nothing cute or fun about snow. It is just white, fluffy evilness.

What're some of your favorite gifts this year?

2007-12-27T22:03:00.001-06:00

I haven't opened presents yet. In fact, Christmas is late this year. I have sent out some cards but still falling behind. We are working on our newsletter and will be mailing them out by January end if we are lucky.

Somehow, Christmas is not Christmas (to this quasi Christian with a smattering of pagan) without family (thankfully, my sil and the family are arriving today after being stalled in the bad weather in Iowa last night) and surprises, in the form of presents.

Of presents, what are your favorite this year?

M surprised me yesterday after work by driving me to this strip mall that is home to an REI, sports equipment, furniture shop and Men's Wearhouse! Which confused me greatly. Then we started walking toward the furniture store, and my mind started working overtime. He had 2 beds picked out and wanted me to decide on the one I want. You see, we've never owned a bed for more than a decade we've been together, and have always relied on box springs and that steel bed frame thingy. And for the last year, we've been sleeping on a mattress on the floor!

So, there, my Christmases are starting to come together -- M's thoughtful surprise, family rolling into town and their surprised looks on the faces, holiday newsletter in its infancy, a forecast that calls for 6 inches of snow, and good friends like you to share this seemingly dull observation with.

Because there is the so-called 12 days of Christmas, it is not too late for me to blog out a collective Happy Holidays to you all and a Prosperous New Year ahead.

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Jeremy: Right back atcha.
Jeremy: Oh yeah... money :) The bestest gift of all. That and the joy of living these days.
Melissa: Wow!!! I really can't top this! I love this blog. It shows the true spirit of Christmas. Family and truly being thankful for even the small things (not that a new bed is a small thing, because that would be an enormous thing to me too! You know what I'm trying to say, though!) Thanks for posting this. I hope that when you're able to celebrate with your family, that it will be a wonderful Christmas! Merry Christmas, Ling! And here's hoping that I'll be able to visit your way some time in 2008!

New Hair Color

2007-12-12T22:01:00.001-06:00

Can't be clearer than the subject line. I'm having a Japanese salon color my entire head this weekend -- those brown colors you see the Japanese gals with.

Hope I don't look too darn freaky. What do you think?

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Amber: I can't wait to see pictures!!! :)

Christina: I think it'll look awesome! You always have been very fashion forward!!!

pictures, pictures, we want pictures!

Jeremy: I think it'll look good--upload the pictures :)

Melissa: Oh wow!!! How excellent! A new hair color to herald in the new year! I can't wait to see a picture!!! You'll have to post one! I so don't think you'll look freaky! I think you're going to look awesome!

Psychology of Sales

2007-12-08T21:59:00.000-06:00

It's been a while since I posted anything. Apart from my laziness, I truly, truly want to share something substantial. I believe I found a topic that all of us can benefit from.

As most of you know, I finally landed a job, back in newspaper industry (bleah) but now in the opposite end of the spectrum -- SALES!

If I had known how fun sales can be, I would have jumped at it a long time ago. But I truly believe there's a time and place for everything. A long time ago, I did not have the maturity or life experience for me to handle this area. Now, having worked in various locations, dealing with more breeds of professionals, I have a better sense of people management, and a better moral compass as an individual.

Being an inside salesperson, where I am on the phone ALL DAY, I have gotten my share of karma, and in return, have become a better consumer myself.

Many of us have (to this day) picked up the phone to call our credit card/cable/phone hotline when we have a problem that were either created by them (wrong billing, bad service etc) or received inept service. What resulted is usually us bitching the bejesus out of them, and for the most part, hung up dissatisfied. Right? Right!

Remember the old adage: You can catch more flies with honey.

For the most part, the frontliners cannot resolve the most severe of situations. But you still need to secure the sympathy of the frontline to reach the boss.

Most thing can be negotiated to a point when it's a Win-Win. Business are out to make money, even at a discount, but they got to FEEL they are making a "sale" And you as a consumer, while most of the time, may not walk away with a FREE transaction, but in most cases, you could leave satisfied with a discount or some reconciliation - if you are patient and conciliatory.

Always ask for specials. There's a good chance there's always something available. Think about the credit card interest rates. They are not going to offer you that lower rate. But it exists.

While this may seem obvious to most of you, just remember not to raise your voice. And acknowledge how you want to keep your business with them -- that's honey to the sales force ears.
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Jeremy: Amen. I've come to realize that you can get what you want better if you don't try to force yourself. It's a bit cunning, and a bit slick and clever (in that negative British connotation), but if you calmly explain the situation, instead of bitching someone out, the person on the other end will be more likely to help you.

Good to hear you blogging again. I need to do that myself soon.

A sports fanatic. Me?

2007-09-30T21:57:00.000-05:00

Nothing like moving to a major sports city to get the excitement and enthusiasm of of sports going.

I finally understand the basics of baseball. Go Cubs! Cubs slideshow with kickass Cubs anthem
Truth be told, I hate the song. So dated. But you just gotta listen for yourself. Hysterical!

I am religious about plopping down before the tube AND reminding Mark about the Bears game, and college football on Sat, Sun and Monday nights. Go Bears! Go Bama! Go Auburn! Go Gamecocks! Go Bulldogs! Boo to alllll California teams!

And most of all, I'll be sad when football and baseball seasons are over. I think that makes me a bona fide fan. And I'm considering buying some jerseys. Hmm. Urlacher or Hester?
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Christina: another thing you and I have in common...between Gamecocks, Steelers, Panthers, Pitt, Penn State, Yankees, Red Sox, etc. etc. I have a busy time watching TV, reading sports sections and keeping up with ESPN Sportscenter. Then again, with everything going on, it also probably keeps me sane!

Jeremy: I used to not understand why people get so obsessed about sports or bother following them. Then I realized that we all need distractions. And a team to rally behind.

Me: Absolutely. A team with an IDENTITY and history, be it good or bad, at that. Especially in the doldrums of the impending winter, and the lazy homebodies like us!

Job lesson

2007-09-21T23:09:00.000-05:00

I was anticipating a Monday start day for my job. Instead, I started midweek on Wednesday. At first, I was bummed.

But after my 3rd day training, I was really glad I didn't begin on a full work week. It's mentally draining trying to absorb so much, even for material that're quite familiar.

Oh, for those who aren't in the know, or with whom I didn't do a good job of staying in touch, I'm in recruitment inside sales. This means I'm tethered to a headset or having a sore neck from cradling a telephone receiver talking to customers placing help-wanted ads. If I do well enough, I may move on to outside sales, soliciting agencies. We'll see.
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Back on the chaingang ... ooh, ahhh

2007-09-05T23:08:00.000-05:00

Finally, after a week of putting off the other job offer, the one I want came through. How nervewracking. So, I'm back to work first thing Monday, my anniversary. So, that means no Jerry! for me. I'll settle for Cherry Garcia and a paycheck instead.

Oh, what am I doing? Sales, baby. Gonna work my way from inside sales to outside. I'm so excited yet scared. Never calculated commission in my life. I only hope I don't get burned come April 15.

I'm so ashamed I forgot my anniv

2007-09-04T23:05:00.000-05:00

OMG, how bad is it that I was reminded of our wedding anniversary by a gift certificate from a restaurant AND also to find out I'm attending a Jerry Springer taping the day of! How high-brow!

What a loser!
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Jeremy: You're not a loser :) You're delightfully tacky ;)

Karen: jerry springer?! omfg lol! i can't imagine you of all people LOL

Renaissance Faire

2007-09-03T23:03:00.002-05:00

Christina,
Maybe this whet your appetite and you'll visit next year and we can combine the Bristol Renaissance Faire and the Celtic fest the following week.

Why does shit, even good ones, happen at the same time?

2007-08-27T23:01:00.000-05:00

So, the days of unemployment are coming to an end. And everyone's right, I should've done all the crap I wanted to do before working. Now I have 2 weeks to do as much as possible.

I was offered a sales job by a direct mail company. Went for my 2nd interview today and was given the offer at the end of it.

But the downpour came over the weekend when I was asked to apply for an inside sales position at Mark's paper. The thing is, I KNOW I will have this job if I want it. So I have an interview tomorrow after sending in my resume today. And I was to give an answer to the first company on Wednesday noon! Aargghhhhh......

Decision, decision. Help......
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Bob: Work with your hubby.

Happy monetary news

2007-08-23T23:00:00.000-05:00

Another one bites the dust. One more payment and I'm done with the bill for my laser eye surgery.

Another credit card bill to go and we're debt free! Woohoo.

Internet creeps

2007-08-16T22:57:00.001-05:00

I thought I'd make a little extra by offering piano lessons at my place. So I posted on Craigslist. And this is what I got back:

Hello.....

Am Mrs Howard Rose. I am from U.K my son is coming
for an holiday in your area, He's name is Daniel is 14
years old and so i don't want her to be less busy in
the time of the day. i have decide to let he attending
your lesson , so he will be coming 1 hour in a day
(10am to 11am) in the morning or time that you will be
chance. so i want you to calculate the cost of 1 hour
per day for Monday, Wednesday & Friday for the whole 1
Month and send me the total cost , i will be paying
you with cashier check ,so get back to me with your
cost for the August to September. I have someone that
will always drive him down to your house.

Kindly get back to me with......

1.YOUR CHARGE FOR AN HOUR....

2.TOTAL CHARGES FOR 1 MONTH THAT HE WILL BE TAUGHT 3
TIMES PER WEEK..

3.FULL NAME AND ADDRESS WITH ZIP CODE....

4.YOUR PHONE NUMBER...

Don't hesitate to e-mail with your total charges.

Thanks and looking to hearing from you soon.

With Best Regards

Mrs Howard Rose

Sounds all normal, right, although that needs serious editing. Really, English people (that is, if you're really English or a mom or ....), what's up?

But the creepy part is this: her e-mail address "slavegirl22@notableserver.com"

Suffice to say, I returned the e-mail saying I'm pulling my service and promptly took down the posting from craigslist.

I don't think I'm being presumptuous in thinking there's something fishy about a mom with an e-mail id like slavegirl22. But I like to think when we pick our ids in this e-world, our choice reflects our personality. I could jokingly create mailorderbride12, but what's the first impression it's gonna get?

So, there we have it, phishing, scammers.

And this incident causes another pause. Growing up, practically everyone takes music lessons from a neighbor, or friend of a friend etc. These days, it's a scary idea to be hosting anything, anything, in your own home for fear of undesirables.

This is what our world is coming to.
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A shoutout to my mommy

2007-08-13T22:55:00.000-05:00

My mom has been pretty much a housewife to my brother, me and my cousin. She held a part-time job at a buddhist school when I was really young, but she gave it up when dad did pretty well, well enough to afford a house in Singapore, to take care of us kids.

I remember about 10 years ago, she was telling me that being a housewife is no fun. No social life and constantly thinking about what the next meal is going to be to satisfy so many tastebuds. My extended family of uncles and aunts would frequently come over every night (except for some weekends) to eat as they all work full time.

Now, I'm home again, without any kids to care for except my dog and cat, that I know what my mom went through. And I'm only cooking for the husband and me. But it's tough. I need to take into consideration what we had the night before, or two nights before, and what he had for lunch recently, so as not to repeat the dishes. And in spite of all the damn cooking shows I watch for ideas and all the darn cookbooks available, I constantly draw a blank. It's frustrating.

So, kudos to my mom, and all the other moms who struggle daily to make sure we never go hungry and disgruntled.
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Bob: Reasons why fast food and restaurants are booming....there are many housewives who buy "home cook food"...LOL.

Melissa: Your mom (and all stay-at-home moms!) definitely deserves kudos!!! My sister is currently a stay-at-home mom too -- at least until she finishes her college degree. And like you just said, it's tough!!! She and her husband have a 3-year-old and you're so right about worrying about where the next meal is going to come from. I think any woman who makes the decision to stay at home still works full-time, as I know you're finding out, just minus that paycheck! *hug* I think you're wonderful!!!! A billion kudo to you too!!!

Will you still respect me in the morning?

2007-08-07T22:50:00.000-05:00

Recently, I took an aptitude test at Prudential Investment, you know, The Rock. The test is a two-parter, one character and one along the lines of the GRE Math.

I got a call today to return for an interview. Apparently, I did so well in both parts that they want to talk to me about being certified as a money manager.

I am stoked at the chance of breaking into this lucrative field, and more so, that now I'm at this stage in my life that I am freaking out about retirement, I am actually interested in finance. I even renewed my subscription to Money magazine a few months ago.

Hence, the question. Will I still have your awe and admiration if I switched gears? Don't worry, I won't come after you to buy life insurance, Roth, funds unless you truly want me to.
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Jeremy: Of course you will :) And you have my total respect. ANd I'm sure I'll be trying to get free advice from you :) Changing careers is not easy but it will be worth it if you truly would like to get into the field.

Patrick: Were I the type of person to hold a grudge against someone who is leaving an industry that is collapsing, then yes.

Dan: t's hilarious, one of my friends here and I were discussing money last night. As in, I don't have any right now.

It's funny how journalists talk of money in alternately dreamy and disdainful tones ... boy, having money would be great but I'm a journalist, so we won't ever get paid, etc., etc.

So go for it. At least take the interview. The worst thing that can happen is that they're not doing what you thought they were, and you're right back where you are.

Buena suerte!

Back to Augusta

2007-08-04T20:38:00.000-05:00

... for a brief time.

Hey, folks, I'll be in town on Sunday June 18 and leaving for Savannah on Tuesday June 20. Hope y'all can make it to dinner with me Sunday and/or Monday night. I'm thinking Bonefish Grill.... mmmmmm.

Columbia folks, if you can make it, that'll be great.

Details to follow! Can't wait!

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New Addiction

2007-08-03T22:47:00.000-05:00

I have since succumbed to yet another type of blog -- that of restaurant reviews.
Honestly, I have nothing exciting on the job search front, and I'd rather be positive than negative, so I haven't posted anything on myspace in a while.

But check out this fun site where I get to perform a public service to all mankind. I think it's more productive and also helps me stay connected in some social aspect.

For those of you in bigger cities, it's worth checking out your area of town. For those who remain in relatively smaller ones, start your own. And let's kick the useful albeit subscription-based Angie's list to the curb.
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Patrick: That's terrific. We have a very active Yelp scene in NYC too. I haven't gone out to many restaurants or bars here in Connecticut (being broke will do that), but I intend to get more involved with it when I move back to the city.

Can't wait to get my Wait! Wait!

2007-07-20T22:45:00.000-05:00

To fans of the NPR's hilarious weekly news quiz show, weep your hearts out, especially this weekend's edition.

The supreme Chicago U.S. attorney Patrick Fitzgerald, the man and his staff who are responsible for bringing down the mob, Conrad Black, and most notably, Scooter Libby, was the guest at Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me this week live at Millenium Park. http://www.wtopnews.com/index.php?nid=114&sid=1194755

Try to catch the show this weekend on your local NPR station if you can. He is quite a sport and the joking jabs are always right on.

Here's a blurry proof of the man walking by:

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Jeremy: Lord, if he can only get Dick Cheney (I'm surprised said assface didn't launch an ICBM at Teheran this morning while W was getting a camera-hose up his hooter).

Tacky can be fun

2007-07-16T22:43:00.001-05:00

I can't believe I would join the throngs of losers, literally, who gush about their trip to Vegas. Not that I swore not to enjoy the trip, but I wasn't expecting to like it THAT MUCH!

Is it tacky? Not that much. If the newer hotels continue with the tone they are setting for how future hotels are to look on the Strip, the amount of tackiness will soon be a thing of the past, like Freemont Street. But I would hate for that day when those earlier icons like Flamingo, Circus Circus, Excalibur (uglyyyy), New York (tacky) and Luxor are bulldozed. It won't be Vegas without them, just like it won't be Vegas without the Ratpack, Liberace, the impersonators, the strippers.

Anyway, for the snobs out there who think they can do better than going to Vegas, trust me when I say you just gotta give it a shot at least once in your lifetime. I don't gamble (well, I did a little; and between M and me, lost quite a bit. But it's all relative right?) and thought I wouldn't enjoy myself half as much. Not so.

Being a hotel gawker, this is my slice of heaven. We didn't go to all the hotels on the Strip. We wanted to save some for future visits. Tops on my list are:

Paris: Where we stayed. Our room is circled in red. What a view. We can even hear the cannons and see the Bellagio water show from our room. For my review, see http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=l2xCVVInBHnHjj2YrL5vig

Bellagio: No surprise. The corporation that owns the Bellagio also manages the MGM Grand, and the Mirage. The lobby is magnificent. The glass chandelier sculpture on the ceiling is created by the great glass artist Dan Chihuly, the same fella who crafted the other chandeliers in the Atlantis hotel in the Bahamas, and other parts of the world. Breathtaking. Equally breathtaking is the water show. I've seen plenty of these shows and didn't expected to be wowed. But I was blown away. The designers maintained the elegance of the white spot lights on the water without going overboard with lasers and colors. We stayed for 2 more shows, 15 minutes apart. And you have to see them with the music.

Bellagio chandelier

MGM Grand, Mirage, Caesar's Palace: Like the Bellagio, the MGM casino floor is expansive. Not to mention, high stakes! Caesar's was truly the most surprising to me. I thought it was going to be tacky to the highest degree. Sure, there's kitsch, but done so right! There's even a Trojan horse. LOL.

Along the line of doing something tacky, we did the roller coaster at New York, New York. While the hotel and casino is nothing to write home about -- cramped and claustrophobic, the coaster was a thrill. I did a day and a night ride. Re-rides are only half priced and you get to the front of the line, just like at DisneyWorld.

Another thing you got to do in Vegas is EAT. Of course, we did the requisite buffet, but we weren't too fastidous as to which one to do since we were not that famished. We made reservations at Joel Rubochon's French bistro only to bail out later when we saw the price on the tasting menu. Then we tried Bravo's Top Chef judge Tom Colicchio's Craftsteak, but was distracted by Michael Mina's Seablue down the path. We ended up at Seablue, for its price and offerings. While Mina is not as huge a celebrity chef like Colicchio and Joel Rubochon, his menu is fantastic, and I was craving a good sea bass. Another great meal I had was at La Burger Brasserie in the Paris hotel. You can build your own burger (like some other burger places in Vegas) and I had my medium-well burger (mmmm, so moist) on a parmesan bread and loaded with arugula, mozzarella and had a fried egg instead of proscuitto. Delish.

But the most surprising thing we found ourselves doing is attending the World Series of Poker Tournament that's going on at the Rio hotel. OMG. We've been watching it on TV all this time, and now's our chance to maybe run into some hot players like Phil Hellmuth, Daniel Negranu, Phil "unibomber" Laak etc. We didn't see them but I caught the back of the head of that ugly, greasy Scotty Nguyen. Ewwww. And Gus Hansen, he's so handsome. And these 3:

That's Tobey Maguire & a famous Costa Rica player

... and that funny commentator on TV.

And we even got to sit in the ring with the final poker players while the cameras swarm around them. We were there on July 13, 2007. See if you can spot us on TV.

So, there's our Vegas trip in a medium nutshell. I can't wait to return.

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Karen: Oh I knew you would have a good time :) I can't imagine anyone not to... it's fun just to see the women parading their new boobies (you can tell) and half their tops hanging out. Hey, we don't get many of those here in TN and if I do, they're probably real and I'm in the wrong area of town :) Actually, I do see a lot of them at the gym... scary.

But back to Vegas... now you can understand why we've been back twice in two months :) Christmas is fun here... the strip is filled with the Asian and Jewish community while it's gotta' be a ghost town in some other cities :)

I can't wait to go back. My favorite hotel (especially for non-gamblers) is The Signature @ the MGM Grand. You come down to the lobby to a real lobby and you have a small but much quieter pool to hang out at. NO KIDS! No casino... and it's a short walk (on a walkalator) to the casino @ the MGM - and yes you get to use ALL the pools they own too.

Me: Ooh, Christmas. Quieter and definitely cooler. I like the sound of that. And of the Signature. I noticed that the MGM has better room deodorant piped through its casinos compared to some, like Bally's. Ech!

Be Responsible

2007-07-06T22:40:00.001-05:00

Good news since I so seldom start with those: I got a renter! Yay! And it's an MCG student with her husband. Only 1 week of empty space and the house is going to be occupied next week. Couldn't ask for better since we are hit with a heavy rent in Illinois, we couldn't afford to have 2 "house payments."

I'm soooo glad to be rid of my previous renters. Let's hope the new ones will be better. Without going into much detail, it's enough to say being a landlord is not easy. Those of you who know M and me, know that I'm usually the nitpicking one, and M is willing to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, to a fault.

Anyway, we have rented in multiple places and always treat the place with respect and care. Can't say the same with our previous renters. It's costing us more to have them around. So I am beseeching those of you who are renting, please, please, please:

1. Pay your rent on time
2. Admit your tardiness and pay the late fees accordingly
3. Take care of damage you caused right away
4. Keep a perpetually clean house so that you don't have much to clean on your last harried days
5. Water the yard
6. Do it when you say you would
7. Respect the house
8. Bathe your pets. Pet stink are disgusting and attract fleas, etc
9. Answer your phone or e-mail

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Christina: I so agree with you on this one! I was proud to have been told by my previous landlords at the beach that I was an EXCELLENT renter. even if Snow did claw up the furniture a few times. I should copy your guidelines, tweak them for the "temporary" condo renters and send them out!

Me: Of course there will be mishaps other than regular wear and tear. As long as the renters are responsible towards it, I have no qualms. I like to think we are fair. We even paid for Merry Maids to get the house ready for the new renters cuz we have word that our old renters left the place not clean (to our standards) and smelling like wet-dog high heaven, and with fleas nonetheless.

Sadly, I'm no sage

2007-07-02T22:38:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd kill plenty of birds with one stone by sharing that one year older does not translate to one year wiser for me.

It's difficult to have a good birthday, even on a weekend, if a pessimistic person like me is surrounded by family and friends, consisting of an ADD child, a constantly ailing and repetitive family member-in-law, and headaches of an empty house in Georgia reeking of wet dog.

So, that, in a nutshell is how my birthday went.

I really shouldn't be making a big deal out of a birthay, and more so, shouldn't let others affect my perspective of how a special day should be celebrated. I suppose if I were to employ psychology to why my expectations of this day is high at all, it would harken to my childhood when my mom would make a fuss of helping me plan a small party, to which my good friends would be invited, and mom would make me a fab cake, and I was loaded with tons of presents from all.

But being 36 now, I should be wiser. I really don't seek gifts. I have enough crap given to me and I can't wait to bring my house to the Minimalist standard(OK, not that drastic, but you know what I mean).

I just don't want to spend my days taking care of others. Instead, I want someone tend to MY needs for JUST ONE DAY. Alas, that was not to be. The husband did promise to make it up to me next week in Vegas. I already guessed the gift he was getting me and I can't change his mind not to do it.

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Christina: I can identify with your entire post. I guess the only thing worse than what you experienced on a birthday is what happened on mine...my two oldest friends who I have known since high school BOTH forgot. But I'm sorry yours wasn't good. Birthdays can be difficult. I also can identify with the my needs problem. It seems to me I've spent about the past three weeks worrying about pleasing everybody else and not one person has asked if there's anything I personally need or would enjoy. Oh well...I hope you feel better! And I'm sorry I didn't know it was your birthday. I suck.

Where to eat?!

2007-06-21T22:36:00.000-05:00

OK, I'm at a loss. I'm headed to Vegas in three weeks, and I need some more suggestions on where to graze.

We'll be there, officially, for 2 days, so that's at least 4 meals. Am considering dinner at Tom Colicchio (Top Chef judge) craftsteak $$$$. Ouch! But I adore Colicchio and since we aren't springing for the hotel (but bear in mind also I've plenty of expenses coming up, living in Chicago, and living off one income), that maybe we can afford to splurge at one nice restaurant.

There's also the off-the-strip Thai place - Lotus of Siam $. I've read in various forums that the Parisian buffet is better than the Wynn's and Bellagio's. The latter 2 tend to be costly and overrated.

So what other good, cheap eats are there?

A new perspective on an old subject

2007-06-19T22:35:00.000-05:00

I spent about 2 hours at the VW dealership today getting my car's 70k mile oil change and am one of 2 passing time in the waiting room.

Normally, I would have my reading material with me. But, in my haste, I forgot.

I typically don't strike up conversation with stranger but this lady around late 30s to early 40s started to ask me what car I drive.

When we found out we both drove the same make, model and year car, we naturally launched into an easy conversation.

What I found out about her in the 2 hours was quite revealing. She told me she used to be a boat salesperson until an accident in downtown Chicago almost killed her. She was actually in a coma for days and had brain trauma from the direct impact of the truck. She was thrown into the air and landed on her head. Because of her near-death experience and lasting injury (brain damage), she cannot resume her job, and worse yet, cannot learn new skills. And the infuriating part is that the driver does not own the truck and he does not have insurance. Which means, she is left to handle the million-dollar surgery bills. Talk about a strain on a family's finances.

Of course, all this is really sobering to me, who constantly complains about not having enough money to buy this, do that. There are always others worse off, maybe not financially constantly, but in other aspects of life. Then there are always others who are way better off. I suppose this chance meeting with her will be a constant reminder to me to quit looking at the negative slide of my life, and focus on making life more productive, and gripe-free.

I love corgis

2007-06-18T22:34:00.000-05:00

For posterity sake, I'm posting this video here:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=VWDc9oyBj5Q

Good service = good tips. Simple.

2007-06-16T22:32:00.001-05:00

once a week.

That particular day, we waited forever and after numerous requests for refills of water, and we didn't get it. We were sweltering in the restaurant, which didn't help. The other table that consists of a bunch of Asians instead got their refills, and they came later than us.

In disgust, M tipped 80cents. That's right. It's less than 10%. He even said he was going to write them to complain of their horrible basic service.

Before he could do that, the hostess came up to him and asked if he really gave 80 cents and why. He was taken aback for being called on it. It's never happened to us before. The three of us spoke up in unison about the deplorable attention. And she had the gall to say that the waiters don't get paid but from the tips and 80 cents is hardly anything to go by. So we are the bad guys now.

I applaud M for doing what he did. Furthermore, I'm usually the pickier customer than he is. On most bad occasions, he at least tip 10%, to my chagrin. Yes, Ling is always out to teach others a lesson, isn't she? I'm usually the bastard, there, I said it.

Anyway, tips are not mandatory and the amount is and should be a reflection of how well the service is tendered. Hopefully, this episode will shed some light to the wait staff that they should not assume they'll be paid regardless of quality of service.

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Christina: AMEN! You guys were in the right, and the hostess had really bad taste to act like you were the bad guy, and NOT APOLOGIZE for her server's bad performance.

I have tipped much less than 10 or 15 percent on many occasions when bad service was given. I have several times NOT left a tip at all when the service was particularly lacking. On one of these occasions, it was at a popular local restaurant here in Columbia. The waitress had a horrible attitude to begin with, not even making eye contact with anyone at the table after keeping us waiting for about 10 minutes while she chatted with friends at a nearby table She did not bring water, condiments, or other items when asked, got the orders wrong, and again copped an attitude when asked to take the incorrect food back to the kitchen. At the end, we asked another passing waitperson if we could see the manager. He arrived, and our party of three informed him, very nicely, why his waitress was not being given a tip. Instead of making us feel like the bad guys, instead he THANKED us for informing him of the situation, said he needed to know from customers when bad service was given, and gave us a discount on the meal.

As you said, tipping is NOT mandatory. You get tipped as your service merits. Hopefully this waitperson learned a lesson from this incident! What ever happened to the customer is always right???!!!

One More Won't Hurt

2007-06-11T22:29:00.000-05:00

As I got older and wiser, I realized the saying "It's better to have few friends than many acquaintances" carry lots of credo. And as I moved from state to state in the last decade, the chances of making friends get slimmer as I get older. Especially with people who have been in the place forever and simply have no room for you in their cliques.

So, anytime I meet someone new, I simply don't harbor any expectations that I can get a friendship out of him/her.

Then myspace came along, and all sorts of people start becoming your friends, some for better, and others not. At least I have the option of dropping them before they drop me, right? hahahaha.

So it is through myspace that I found a few good people. One is G, whom I met in Singapore shortly after our correspondence. And G told me about her best bud K who is happily married in the States. When I returned from my vacation, I thought I would get to know K via the net. K turned out to be everything that G told me about - funny, genuine, and sincere. So K and I talked on the phone for about a year, both of us knowing that I may not visit her in Tennessee, and no way is she coming to Lubbock (where I was living then). And that's OK with me, cuz we figured at some time, we'll hook up with G in New York where G is, and it's win-win-win for all.

Then, before we know it, we're meeting in Chicago. It's silly to confess this but meeting and making new friends in person suddenly brings to mind a blind date! The drive to downtown Chicago was a little nerve-wracking for me. I mean, I meeting this "friend" and her husband. The ratio, first of all, is off. And then, what if I turned out to be a dud to them. Conversing on phone is way easier. There's always an easy exit if the phone conversation hangs on dead air - "oh, I gotta go grocery shopping!" Of course, K laughs it off when I expressed my concern.

And this is one of 2 get-togethers we're having while they're in Chicago. Mark is unable to make dinner in the middle of the week, and we made plans for another dinner date on Friday. And they had kindly extended their stay to accomodate us!

So there brings another concern, right? What if the husbands are socially awkward around each other? I mean, that's always the problems with couples, isn't it? Rarely can a couple find another couple that they want to hang out with. One half of the other couple seems to possess some idiosyncracy that most surely guarantee there won't be a "next time." Thankfully, our husbands turned out to be quite chatty, more so than us girls!

In this rare case, one or two more friends certainly doesn't hurt. Now I just wish all my friends are closer in distance to me.

The unsuspecting ang-mohs with their "SPG"s

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Jeremy: Awww :) I'd love to come visit sometime.

Patrick: Man, do I ever know about that whole hardening of cliques thing. That was easily the most brutal part about being single in Augusta. But you know, my father likes to say that we don't get older, we just get more so. So if you're interested in making new friends when you're young, it stands to reason you'll be open to new people when you're an adult, and hopefully find others who are open too. Kudos for reaching out!

Christina: I'm proud of you for reaching out, like Jeremy said! This is a great picture and it does prove the virtues of things like Myspace when you can make and meet new friends even over long distances! Glad to hear this worked out...like you however I wish you guys were closer and that all the good people I know weren't spread so far out around the country!

Bob: Wonderful! It is tough moving around so much, uprooting and all, nice pic, I'm sure u guys had a wonderful time!

Karen: the unsuspecting new friend :) ...here i am! told you not to be nervous lol!

you're absolutely right about the distance however... sucks huh?! but at least we're moving away to (hopefully) a more exciting place then memphis lol. it can't get much worst, can it!? lol! ...and you guys can come visit. plus we certainly will be back in chicago so you'll be seeing us soooon!

I can't believe it happened to us

2007-05-29T22:27:00.000-05:00

We attended a pay per view UFC at a nice bar the other day. It was the much anticipated fight between Liddell and Rampage. Anyway, when we left the bar around midnight, we ran into a bunch of youths and smokers at the parking lot who told us that we missed the real fight outside the bar. OK, whatever.

On the way home, Mark noticed that our driver side rearview mirror had been moved. And of course, we were worried that the mirror was broken by some drunk at the bar and there were scratches on the mirror. None of that. Whew!

So all was well until we headed over to our friends' house on Sunday to meet up for a downtown Chicago romp. Returning from Chicago in their car, Mark asked me if I had noticed an indentation on the back passenger door. OMG, the four of us ran over to our parked car and we saw this huge, deep, verticle dent all along the door. And we knew it. We had been the innocent victim of some raging testosteroned fellas outside the bar the night before. Someone must've slammed the other fella into the side of our car.

Most of us have been victims to dings from supermarket carts and scratches from botched parallel parking. But to be on the receiving end of some brainless, irresponsible beefcake parking lot fights really takes the cake for me. The worst part is there's not a single responsible witness who bothered to report the act and take names. That truly chaps my ass.

Anyway, the update on the car. The heat today has popped the dent out a lot, much to our delight, and there's still a fist-sized dent along the ridge of the car. We are hoping that we don't have to break into our insurance to take care of that. Maybe the summer heat will take care of that last remaining dent.

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Bob: Sorry to hear about that. But your car could have been an accessory to murder! ha ha ha.

Jeremy: What the hell? I hope you find those dudes and chop their nuts off.

Christina: I am SO SORRY to hear about this. I got my car keyed one time outside a bar but nothing like a huge body-caused dent! Hopefully the heat will pop it out. If not, there are ways a good body shop guy or mechanic can pop out dents using some special tools they have.

Melissa: I'm so sorry it's taken me forever (and a day!) to respond to this!! But, ARGH!!! That makes me so mad for you! I want to say I can't believe people could be so irresponsible, but... I'm starting to find out that a lot of people out there really are. *sigh* And then when you throw alcohol into the mix, they become dumber than belly button lint. What's worse, I doubt those guys even remember throwing punches around your car. They're probably blissfully unaware that they were dumb-farts. I'm sorry!!! I hope the dent continues to pop out! Keep us posted!

2007-05-19T22:25:00.000-05:00

It is not the first time I ran into foreign-speaking serviceworkers. And I certainly am guilty of lapsing into my Mandarin with friends when I want to keep my casual conversations exclusive to my select audience.

But this morning, the reality finally hits me that it is extremely disrespectful when you are working in a country whose primary language is English, you don't speak English. Likewise, if I were in China, I would expect my serviceworkes to speak Mandarin to one another; or Singapore, Singlish (yes, my American friends, we concocted a slang in Singapore called the Singlish. It's really a hoot to be engaging in that with my Singapore expats and family.)

I was in Micky Ds getting its run-and-go breakfast and as I waited, the cashier was speaking Spanish to her trainee and via the microphone on separate occasions. Suddenly, I felt like I was in a strange land. Transported even. And I began to panic at the prospect of future America, where Spanish becomes the primary language, what with all the mass migration (legal and illegal) and the mentality that we all better start learning Spanish to compete with the economy. Of course, I am also miffed at the influx of ATMs and touch-tone operations providing Spanish as an option.

Can you imagine countries in Europe and Asia expecting their citizens to learn a particular foreign language just because their land is slowly being populated by a different racial group? France by Algerians, Canada by Asians, Singapore by migrant workers from all over the world.

Now, I am all for learning different languages. There certainly is merit in that - Singaporeans know that from birth since we have been living in diversity, not adversity, all our lives. But in no way, did we ever thought of ceding our primary language, which is English, to another language just because there are increasingly more of them in our country now. In fact, you can expect diversity in our signage, public announcements, and commercials to cater to the primary racial groups.

Here, in the States, when you call an automated line, read a brochure (save manuals), or go to the ATM, you gotta to wonder where is the Vietnamese, the Korean, the Mandarin, the Tamil. Afterall, where I am now, in Chicagoland, there are a fair share of these other races' services.

I am annoyed at the liberties we are giving the Hispanics who refuse to abide by the standards of the country they are residing in. Worse yet, I am no in position to change the system.
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Patrick: Here in New York, there are entire areas of the city (and even pockets of the suburbs) where English is the second language. It's disorienting as hell when you're there (I know, I had to write a profile of the Latino-heavy Jackson Heights), but I've never thought of it as being disrespectful. If you want to succeed in business beyond your little ethnic pocket, you have to speak English, period. If not, that's your perogative too. As for the liberties we "give" to Hispanics via automated lines and such, I'm sorry, but you're out numbered. Latinos are now a bigger minority than even blacks, and there's strength in numbers.

I wouldn't worry about Spanish ever becoming the primary language of the U.S. English is the language of business all around the world, and as we all know, money talks.

Bob: Maybe Singapore NOW isn't Singapore that you knew then. Singapore is now a country full of migrant workers who earn more than locals. Foreign talent as they are called here are given first class privilege wherever they go in Singapore.

Road signs, MRT signs are now in Chinese and Tamil, to cater to the Chinese and Indians here.

Foreign talents are given jobs ahead of Singaporeans and no effort is spared in making Singaporeans KNOW their place in Singapore.

Retailers give Foreign talents (not the ang moh only now), first class service, because most service workers are foreigners anyway. They disdain serving locals.

Gone are the days where indian and chinese immigrants are cleaners, construction workers and prostitutes.

Now 60, 70 year olds clean up after foreigners and locals.

Indian and Chinese migrants are now programmers, bankers, economists, accountants, lawyers, doctors, engineers...etc.

A 26 year old local gets paid maybe $3,000 because he has only 2 years of working experience as he serves his country for 2 years. A similar foreigner would be earning at least DOUBLE that.

Most of the new private condominiums in Singapore are bought by foreigners.

Landed property previously exclusive to locals are now available to be bought by foreigners too.

Also, Singapore's first language is MALAY.

Locals here speak dialect. Mandarin is an official chinese language.

English is / was NEVER the primary language.

As foreigners find it hard to communicate with locals, they substitute locals at their work place with their own countrymen. This will eradicate the problem of mis-communication.

English spoken by an Indian national is different in accent and in "presentation". It is easy to mis-interprete an Indian's words.

I also disagree that English is the language of business and therefore English will "rule".

In China, if you can't speak Chinese, you can forget about doing business in China.

English is the main medium for communication especially on the internet, that I do agree. But we have to understand that as businessmen, language is an easy barrier to overcome.

Singapore has lost its edge in the international business world, because, English is no longer a "premium" language spoken by yellow coloured people.

Singaporeans are now regarded as pariahs. Because they are neither fluent in English nor in Mandarin. Singaporeans are also lacking in knowing the culture of the west and east. No matter how well versed one is in Chinese studies and English literature and history, there is nothing more important than in-depth knowledge of a culture.

Singaporeans are spiritless and cultureless beings created by the government to be drones working in factories, to be never heard and be counted. Thus, Singapore is paying the price for it.

For my take on the American situation, it is just a simple business decision to tap on the "spanish" dollar. There is nothing sinister or unnerving about it.

Me: I disagree English WAS never the primary language. Granted, there's been a lot of Mandarin and Hokkien spoken alongside but at least in school, English and second languages are stressed. And you always can find someone who's able to speak English, no matter how mangled. But you've eben lviing there all your life and is better versed in the current state than I am. And is the condition really that depressing and second-class to our natives? You gotta wonder if the government has given up on reeling back the braindrain they were so afraid of.

Bob: Brain drain is NO LONGER an issue in Singapore. Yearly, they grant citizenships (thousands of them) and hundred of thousands of PR (Permanent residents). Do not believe me?

Singapore's population today is about 4.5M, only 2-3M are locals. What the government does now is to merge the PR and Citizens stats together to mask any "problem" areas like unemployment, wage levels...etc.

Our government is efficient and has countered lack of new babies and brain drain by importing "talents" from abroad.

Recent survey shows that foreigners will never give up their citizenships for a Singapore pink IC. That goes for the Chinese, Indians, Malaysians...etc. But they will continue to "milk" Singapore for what it is worth.

Our government now consist of numerous "foreign talents".

In fact in parliament, we have a couple of ex-Malaysian, ex-Indoneisan MPs and one NMP who is I believe Indian. Our policies have therefore NOT strangely been skewed towards making foreign talents "special" in Singapore.

Like I said, Mark would NOT have ANY problems getting a top job in Singapore.

This is the toned down version as it is a national day speech.

You can read more here: http://www.channelnewsasia.com/s2006/english5.htm

But you get the whole picture.

Random acts of sweetness to little ole me

2007-05-11T22:23:00.000-05:00

It's such a great feeling to be thought of by a friend, out of the blue to boot!

Yesterday, I finally got to an e-mail from K if I had received a package from her. When I got home, I found it tucked between the front doors.

It was no mere packet but a big USPS box and it felt heavy.

She had sent me some Chinese medicine I had requested a while back and added a few surprises like snacks and a housewarming gift. The most interesting thing is, we haven't even met! Maybe I should keep it that way.

Now, I have to admit I felt really touched and special and I loveeeee surprises and presents! It's been a while since any friend had randomly thought of getting me a gift. Geez, I can't remember the last time I got a birthday card from a bunch of folks, except from C, who always sends me cards and when I visit, pack me some nice SEAsian desserts for the road. And there's John Sinclair, who will rise to the occasion of making me mixed CDs for the long road trips the 2 times I relocated since knowing him.
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Jeremy: Aww. That's awesome. Hope you're doing well.

Thanks, guys, for the reminder that I am special to you. I can't wait to start gifting to you. Afterall, I love shopping.

2007-05-08T22:20:00.001-05:00

Remember the sock monkey?

It's really a dumb toy to me until I chanced upon it during my visit to Rockford today.

I tagged along with M and his colleague who are on a business trip to the Register Star. Having a few hours to kill, I drove around the downtown, which is in the midst of revitalization (read, empty shopfronts and a few hip restaurants), and chanced upon the visitors' center. I found some typical tourist brochures and found a tourist spot that looked interesting. The Tinker Swiss Cottage. Sounds delightful, doesn't it? It is. .

For a mere $5, I was treated to a personalized tour by a very capable docent. While I was signing the guest book, I caught sight of the sock monkey and thought it was peculiar. Does it have a Swiss connection? Then I looked around the shop/reception, and realized a few other country-like knick knacks, and I thought it was just part of the country craft souvenirs.

As we started the tour, the docent pointed to a row of factory next to the cottage - the Nelson Knitting Company. It is here in that factory that some ladies created the sock monkey. How freaky cool is that? I was told that these days, the sock monkey cannot be bought as a whole toy unless a bunch of ladies, mostly from churches or retirement homes, decide to make them. But if you feel nostalgic for one, here's where you can get them. And did you know why the ladies at the knitting factory create the monkey? Here's a trivia: they thought the red heel looked like a mouth!

The tour of the Tinker Swiss Cottage is nothing short of remarkable. But this really is not the blog for it. If you are an interior design and architecture buff, you'd be be blown away by the history, and the detail to attention. The trompe l'oeil restoration is a sight to behold.

Rockford is a river town, and is not a town to brag about. But in these few short hours, I had the chance to see the cottage, and also the art museum. Now, I am not an art aficionado and certainly cannot dissect art. I was drawn to it by the lightpost banners promoting His and Hers, a pair of Sweden glass artists' exhibitions. Glass, that is a medium I am a sucker for. When I got there, this unemployed patron was thrilled to find that it's free day at the museum!

The sandblasted glass work by him was surreal but well executed. Lots of phallic imagery. Not my cup of tea. Hers was more user- and homeowner-friendly, but still quite suggestive. Why are artists so tortured sexually?

Sidenote: there was a artisan chocolate store near the paper. I peeked in and was given a detailed description of each truffle. Interesting combination but each little 2-inch square of truffle is $2.50! That's half the admission of the cottage tour. No thank you! I'm no sucker!

The Value of a Symbol

2007-05-08T22:16:00.001-05:00

A few days ago, I discovered my wedding band and ring were missing from my finger. I had never placed the importance of monetary value on this symbol of marriage when we purchased and chose them. But it always feels comforting to see the diamonds throw their sparkle when the light catches them.

With them absent from my finger, I suddenly realize the relative lightness on my hand and most of all, the emptiness in my heart.

These rings come to represent the iconic status of being a wife, a bride, to my beloved. While the physical aspect of it can be replaced, the brief (almost 3 years) history of it can't buy a new set. Am I succumbing to the diamond marketing industry of "a diamond is forever"? I should hope not.

I realized, too, that the anger I felt toward myself was due to the apparent carelessness and thoughtlessness I have towards them. I may have taken them off to wash the dishes, or my hair, or to prevent the bands from being scuffed during the laborious unpacking of boxes. But why didn't I show more care as to where I put them?

After a day of searching and backtracking, I had to let go. While M was convinced they were somewhere in the house and that they'll show up at some point, I was exhausted by my action.

The next day, refreshed by a night's sleep, I woke up to begin a new round of tearing the place down ... right after I have that cup of coffee. And there they were,two little circles sitting on the kitchen counter next to the sink. How they turned up, I've no idea.

I've come to yet another hard-learned lesson of being aware of my actions, my mind, and my environment. A little less rushing through life will be a good start.

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Christina: This is such a good blog...so full of meaning and so true! I have done this several times with the rose gold ring I wear on my right hand which was my Scottish great-grandmother's wedding ring. I feel exactly like you did when this ring is off my hand and I always kick myself when I realize how careless I can be with this real tangible symbol of my family and ancestors! Your sentiments about what your ring means to you were also beautiful. I'm glad you found it again!

Me: I don't think I ever told you how I remembered you thumbing your rings. Now I do the same thing. On a similar vein, I lost a gold bracelet my mom gave me when I was in college. And I still feel guilty about it.

Patrick: I hear ya! I hate it when I misplace my wedding ri...Oh wait, that's right. No one loves me like they love you! Cool story. Hold onto those sentiments.

Adios, Tejas

2007-04-26T22:13:00.001-05:00

The last month in Lubbock has been nothing short of dramas. I was asked to terminate my resignation earlier that usual. I had a house on a property that appeals to select groups of buyers. I had driven my car into deep flood water. I had ample free time. Now these are memories as I look forward to closing on my house tomorrow and hitting the road toward Chicago.

The house sale has been interesting. I put up on my sign about 2 months ago. The first day I was pounding that sign into the rocky ground in my driveway, my eccentric artist-neighbor drove by and expressed his interest. Following that, I had a stream of tirekickers and interested parties. It was only about 3 weeks later that my neighbor started to panic (I think) that he invited me to a cookout at his house and hastily in the phone invitation, tells me he's really interested and could we have a deal. Just like that. 3 weeks later, we are closing. Tomorrow, at 8:30. Wow. It turned out to be a win-win deal. That's all M and I ever wanted. Glad that's gonna to be behind me. I cannot imagine many people having that kind of good fortune of selling a house in an interesting property that quickly and getting a cash deal out of it.

What am I taking away from Lubbock?

Most certainly, my other wonderful neighbors who had taken on the role of the surrogate parents after M left for Chicago about 4 months ago. They were there to chauffeur me around when my car was waiting for parts for a week. They were my solace when I thought I was going to be paying a fortune for my car repair.They introduced me to the lake community through church, town hall meetings and pot lucks. They were my petsitters, forging a beloved bond with my endearing dog, and independent cat. They were my real estate advisor. And most recently, my home away from home after the movers hauled everything away.

I'm also leaving behind a few good friends. Some of whom I didn't have the initiative to get to know when M was around.

I don't think I had utilized my two years here to really know the land and its people for their virtues. Most people I came across (at work, mainly) left as bitter a taste in my mind as the blowing dust storms. But for the many sorry folks I came across, I must be grateful for the few good ones that make up for the disparity.

I'm truly sad to leave our third and last home -- the house overlooking the lake and caprock at Buffalo Springs. I didn't entertain as much as I wanted to. And I didn't get to pass the nights and weekends at it with M as much as we wanted to, either.

As I leave that behind me, I look forward to my new base in Chicago. And definitely that new beginning, when I get the chance to reevaluate on how my life would be lived.

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2007-03-16T22:11:00.000-05:00

I wil blog more about this in another month or so when I get to Chicago and have internet connection, but here it is in a nutshell:

I was called into HR at 2 p.m. today to be told that it is my last day, not April 23. Their reason: I'm leaving eventually, and the company is going through major financial distress (they froze positions and pay raises about 2 weeks ago), and they have no plans to rehire for my position.

So, this is my last post until my access to the internet.

Since I won't have internet access, I still have my phone and would love to hear from y'all. 806-252-4654

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Jeremy:

Damn, I'm sorry. So you got screwed over by Morris, too, when you left? I got f**ked over when I left too, because initially I thought I had 17 days of vacation/PTO to burn, then come back one day and do the exit interviews. WRONG! Those days "are there based on a promise that you'll work the entire year, so you accrue only a few days." I got shafted out of pay I needed, considering I only got paid for a 1/2 month at the end of January at KSU. (You get paid an annualized salary with the university system, payable once a month on the last working day of the month--so you have to be VERY good with budgeting and not spending a bunch of money all in one fell swoop.)

They're not rehiring my position either at The Chronicle--it was posted internally, very briefly, then it disappeared, according to those still enslaved at Billy's farm.

No I ain't gonna work on Billy's farm no more....

Me: I stick to the general rule of never speaking ill of the employer, but damn, Morris is ________(fill in the blanks). I tell you what, I'm glad those of us who got to get out did. Can you imagine toiling for the corporation till you're ready for retirement?

Christina: Jeez, Ling, I am so sorry this happened. As you told me the other day on the phone before we got rudely cut off (I was driving into a rural part of the County that is lucky to have electricity, much less cell phone access!) Proof positive that newspaper companies truly SUCK! In the long run you are better off rid of them!

2007-03-13T22:09:00.000-05:00

As we sprang forward an hour last Sunday, I got to wondering about falling back in time.

I'm reading the book What Should I Do with My Life? by Po Bronson who recently wrote a fascinating story in New York magazine on the ill aftermath of praise for children and I got to wondering the age-old question: if you could do it all over again, what direction would you have taken?

I know many of you are probably thinking and saying you wouldn't do it any differently? True, there are some aspects of my life that would not unfold had I not chosen the path I did. But if you really have the option to make different decisions (like academia decision which springs to mind, cuz a lot of where and what we are were defined by our educational choices), what would you do instead. I foresee already my (ex)reporter-friends not changing their decision, but let's not stop at academia. Would you have moved to where you are? Would you have invested in what you did? Would you have forgiven? Would you have been more religious?

As for me, I definitely would have sought out professionals in other fields and really take time to understand what they do, and what I needed in my coursework to work towards that. I blame my lack of foresight at age 20, I regret the lack of direction from friends, family, professors, guidance counselors, school. Growing up in Singapore, all we were introduced to in terms of profession were law or medicine. You may find it strange that engineering, pharmacy, IT were nonexistent subjects to me. Meaning, I honestly had no idea such courses were available! Can you believe my ignorance?!

To date, I have a vague idea of what I want to do. Probably interior design, structural architecture (or civil engineering), cooking/restaurant management, fashion design ....

I probably still would not forgive my dad, but I would speak to him and provided him a means of contact.

I would not have pursued my career goals (I've achieved them, so what?), and instead focused on establishing a family.

I probably should have chosen Australia for my overseas studies so that I could be closer to my family more often.

I should have concentrated on moving to the West Coast so my family and I could visit more frequently.

It probably is not too late to pursue some of these realizations. Now, all I can do is to make wiser decisions in life.

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Jeremy: I probably would have never gotten into debt with someone with whom I knew would never help me out financially.

I probably would have branched out and taken more public relations and design/pagination courses, not to mention IT/comp sci/Web design courses.

I probably would have studied abroad in Germany during my lower-level undergraduate years with UGA's foreign languages department, then in Toronto or Guadalajara with the Grady College of Journalism in the upper division years.

But, in all, I have to say that I have learned a lot from my life experiences, and I think those experiences have made me a more mature, independent, better person.

I still would have avoided coming home to Macon while I was in college. I still probably would have dated the same said emotionally abusive person with whom I got into debt (I just wouldn't have gotten financially entangled). And I still would have come to Augusta, where I met some of the greatest friends a person could have and learned that when push comes to shove, I can do many things under fire.

Patrick: That book sounds like something I should probably get my hands on, because I can't even begin to count the number of nights I've laid awake at night, unable to sleep because all I can think about is all the things that haven't gone according to plan. Jobs, friends, relationships, money, you name it, I can cite something wrong with my life. In fact, right now the only things that I'm optimistic about are my immediate family and my health.

That said, I wouldn't change a thing. If I applied myself more in high school, paid closer attention to how my relationship with my girlfriend was crumbling in 2001, or thought harder and longer about whether moving to the South was a wise idea, things may have very well turned out better. But then again, if I did that, I'd be someone else, not me.

I think it's admirable to look back at past choices with clear-headed realism, because that maxim about those who do not learn from their mistakes is a wise one. But don't beat yourself up too much though. We learn more from mistakes than from successes.

Me: Thanks to all who responded publicly and privately. I'm pleasantly surprised this topic has touched the core of many of you. And you have all given me much optimism and hope for the choices I had made and will be making. Pat, I'm only on the 3rd chapter of the book but the stories have resonated deeply. It's worth picking up at the local library (considering the financial rut most of us are in).

The Ron

2007-03-07T22:07:00.000-06:00

Last night, a bunch of us from work attended a debate between a pastor, from the xxxchurch.com and drumroll, Ron Jeremy.

Yes, the Hedgehog.

It was interesting. I wouldn't go so far to say enlightening.

We certainly felt old surrounded by the full house of Tech students. Blech!

Sadly, I didn't get a personal picture or autograph from the man himself. It was getting late and I was worried about my darn dog. (That dog sure was not worth returning to. That darn animal refused to come to me when I called him yesterday and today.) Yeah, Bentley blew my chances of cozying up to the man.

Getting rid of the PMI monkey

2007-03-06T22:06:00.000-06:00

I received a letter from Chase Home Finance yesterday. I knew what it was.

I had recently put in a request for my PMI removal (the interest one pays the bank when it's not 20% downpayment so as to protect the lender. It's a crock of @^%&). They had followed up with a payment of $150 to send a rep out to my house (in Augusta). The rep showed up a few weeks ago and took pictures of my house.

Those pictures are then sent back to Chase for them to appraise the value of the house. If their appraisal thinks that present equity satisfies the 20% limit, then we are off the hook to pay PMI.

We felt that by now, we have made enough payments to offset the 20% value, and were hoping that the extra $25 PMI we make each month in addition to our mortgage will be off our back. That gives us multiple savings over the years.

When this letter from Chase showed up in my mailbox, I was expecting for huge corporation to screw us. But lo and behold, the first few words could not sound sweeter.

We finally got rid of the dastardly monkey.

How to get rid of PMI

Another Day at the Newspaper

2007-03-01T22:04:00.000-06:00

I find it unfortunate that the day has to come when journalists have to go through such a checklist. Can't say I blame the editors completely. It is true there are journalists who equate length to importance. And I applaud the call to quotes. How often have we been tortured by ineffectual quotes that repeat a statement.

__________________________________________________________

Feb. 28, 2007, Memo from Washington Post Executive Editor Leonard Downie Jr. and Managing Editor Philip Bennett to the Paper's Staff

To: The Staff
From: Len and Phil

Our outstanding journalism comes in all sizes, including long pieces that deserve every inch. But for too long we've confused length with importance. Often the result has been stories that readers don't want to finish and displays in the newspaper that don't do our journalism justice.

We have decided to take a more disciplined approach to story lengths, with guidelines that are consistent with giving our readers quality journalism in a variety of appropriate lengths.

Here are guidelines for writers and editors. Please study and follow them. We are asking AMEs to enforce them.

Story Lengths—A Newsroom Strategy

Goals

The newspaper should be filled with stories of different sizes.
We need to show discipline in writing and story-telling. We especially need to pay attention to mid-range stories that are too long, given the underlying material.
We want to give reporters and editors the tools to edit better for length, and we want to give page designers a wider selection of story lengths to help them showcase all our journalism better.
A philosophy to live by: Every story must earn every inch.

Methods

1. A Rough Guide

The physical size of the newspaper imposes real constraints on story lengths. With headlines and photos, a page takes 65 inches of text. The only stories that run that long are projects. Otherwise, we must get several stories on most pages. To keep the paper lively and interesting, we must strive for variety—including some stories that are short. Through long experience with layout and design, and taking into consideration the news holes typically available on inside pages, we've come up with some guidelines for story lengths:

A small event, or an incremental development worth noting can be a digest item. The digests are important for readers.
A day story, significant enough to write for our readers but based on one event or development—6 to 15 inches. We frequently end up with 12-inch holes in the paper. Let's use them to the best advantage.
A single event with multiple layers or levels of information, 18 to 24 inches.
A more complex news feature of ambition and altitude—25-35 inches.
Major enterprise, involving in-depth reporting or narrative story telling—40 to 50 inches.
Extraordinary long-form narrative or investigation, magazine-type stories—60 to 80 inches or, rarely, more.

2. For Writers

Writers need to take responsibility for earning every inch of their stories. Every writer should consider:

In structure, does the story move cleanly from one sub-theme or topic to the next? If it wanders and circles back, look for ways to deal with sub-themes one at a time. Good chronology makes for good storytelling.

Watch out for artificial transitions. They burn up space needlessly. In many newspaper stories you don't need a transition from one idea to the next.

To build effective, memorable mental images, pay attention to characters. Can you describe who we are hearing from, what they look and sound like, and where they are coming from?

Is there a high, clear and powerful nut graf? Even the most extraordinary narrative needs to get to the point. For stories on the front page and section fronts, we must get to the nut graf before the jump.

We must avoid repetition. Don't use two or three quotes when one will do. The same goes for anecdotes. Resist the urge to quote someone just because you interviewed them.

We are often saddling readers with too much recapitulation and background. In writing both news and features, reporters should strive to eliminate stale material. If you must revisit events to make the current material work, be sparing. Cast a cold eye on B-matter. Every story about a complex running issue does not need to recap everything that's happened. Write for readers, not your sources.

Show, don't tell. Can you animate your characters and recount events in a way that will let the scenes and voices speak for themselves, rather than using the reporters' voice to tell it all? Watch out for excessive adjectives that tell us what to think, rather than summoning real experiences and events that show us what happened.

3. For Editors

An editor on each desk will be deputized to ensure that we stay true to the principles we're enunciating here: compliance with guidelines, accurate budgeting, coordination with page designers and layout.

This editor will scrutinize lengths based on our common editing criteria and will have power to hold a story and ask that it be redone based on length.

He or she will make sure that stories on the budget have passed through this process. All stories will be put on the budget with their actual lengths as approved and edited by that desk.

The editor in charge of story lengths—and the person running the day on each desk—must actively engage page designers. They should visit the News Desk and look at the pages and available news holes before determining the day's cutback. The goal is to establish story lengths that will work both for the words and for the design.

If a longer story is offered for A1 and does not make it, and it is to be published inside the A section or another section, it should be scrutinized for length, consistent with the design needs of the section.
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Jeremy: This is basic stuff that many mid-size papers have been enforcing for a long time. I don't want to have to read through 70 inches of bullshit when it's not needed; nor do most readers. It's just sad that it's taken the WaPo this long to realize it.

I have been at press confabs in DC with WaPo people--they make their questions WAAAAY longer than they need to in order to impress other people. There is an incredible arrogance among certain members of the Fourth Estate that their brilliant pieces of journalism need to be extremely verbose, and get anal when you cut (*cough* T.C. *cough*)

Mind you, some stories need to be long. But there are many that don't.

A Sobering Reminder

2007-02-28T22:00:00.001-06:00

I bitched and moaned constantly about not having money, to M's chagrin. Fear of what's to happen when I finally let this job go when I head on to Chicago. What's gonna happen if I can't sell these 2 houses of mine, or rent the one in Augusta.

Then I found this story on msn.com:

I make $6.50 an hour. Am I poor?

Here's how I slipped from the middle class into near poverty, and what I'm doing about it.

By Karen Datko

As a single professional woman, for years I sat securely among the lower rungs of the middle class.

Now I've fallen off the ladder.

In a matter of months, I went from a comfortable life with decent pay and health insurance to a $6.50-an-hour job with no insurance, no furniture and just enough resources to keep the wolf from the door.

I no longer buy anything unless it's absolutely essential. I spend $40 at the supermarket and make it last for more than two weeks. I never turn down a free meal. I've learned to graciously accept money, furniture, elk meat and encouragement from worried friends.

I am no longer proud.

I have no romantic notions about being poor. I'm not nobler than others, and I'm not a victim. But I am one minor medical emergency away from welfare.

Simply put, I'm in survival mode.

Here's my story in a nutshell: I lost my job as a managing editor at a small newspaper in Montana after the ownership changed hands. Six months later, I moved to Pennsylvania to take a similar job. My living arrangements fell through, and as I searched for a rental that would accept my three dogs, I lived in a campground. When it became clear that I'd be a campground dweller for a while, my boss fired me, telling me my living situation was "bad for business." I sold off my household goods -- everything from a sofa to pots and pans -- and drove back to small-town Montana.

I still own a house here. And I have a network of loving friends.

But now I know why most of my single women friends here work two or more jobs and think about the prospects of a bleak, impoverished old age. Good jobs with benefits are hard to come by here.

Life at $6.50 an hour

Once I got back to Montana, I started out my low-wage career working part time at a discount department store for $6.50 an hour (less than half of what I used to make) and part time as a salad maker and all-around kitchen slave at a local steakhouse, for the same low pay. But 13 hours a day on my feet and too little sleep were more than my 52-year-old body could handle. After a month, I quit the mind-numbingly boring shelf-stocking job.

The restaurant job isn't much better, making gallons of salad dressing, chopping lettuce and assembling relish trays. But it has its upsides. We can cook up "meat bits" on the grill and eat salad or baked potatoes. And the crew there is well worth the price of admission: Two of the servers bought me a gift certificate so I could afford to eat my birthday dinner there.

My take-home pay is about $660 a month. At $310, my mortgage takes the biggest chunk of that. Phone and Internet cost $70. Heat in winter is usually more than $100 -- it's Montana, after all.

Water runs $41 a month. The car takes $127. So, just about every penny is gone even before I buy gasoline or food for myself and the dogs.

Since I'm in the hole every month, I dip into my small savings to pay the difference, plus things like car insurance.

There is no room for error. At these wages, anything unexpected is a financial emergency. I worry especially about my health. I can't afford prescriptions, though I have used the county's health clinic rather than my own doctor.

Listing the wants and won'ts

Down to one job, I came up with new rules to govern how I spend:

When I think about buying something, I think about how many hours I have to work to pay for it. That's a sobering thought.

For instance, washing the steakhouse kitchen counters down with bleach water gave my fingers the consistency of coarse sandpaper. The gloves provided by the restaurant didn't help. My fingers began snagging the napkins and tablecloths when I folded the laundry.

The cost of good hand lotion? Three hours of labor. The cost of better gloves: a half-hour. But that's also $3 subtracted from essentials like paying the heating bill.

I try not to touch the small safety net I still have in the bank. It's there for emergencies, like a new transmission if my old van needs one or a new gas tank. The patches on the old tank have lasted far longer than anyone thought they would.
I will not touch my 401(k) and other retirement accounts. I'm better able to fend for myself now than I will be when I'm in my 70s.
I won't sell my house. It's cheaper than rent and provides more old-age security.
I have only one credit card and I use it only to purchase gasoline so I can monitor my spending on gas. I walk when I can, and if I have to drive, I combine several trips into one.
The programmable thermostat in my house is set at 63 degrees when I'm home, and at 60 when I'm not or I'm asleep. I sleep in pajamas and a flannel robe underneath a comforter and blankets.
I use half the recommended amount of laundry detergent and wash everything in cold water. I stopped using face cream and I buy the cheapest soap I can find.
I don't turn down free food. At a recent community gathering, people -- apparently noticing my dramatic weight loss -- gave me leftovers to take home.
I refuse to let my situation depress me -- most of the time.

It could happen to anyone

For Thanksgiving, I helped cook dinner at the home of the same couple I've shared the holiday with for five years. I looked at their kitchenware and wished I still had my own. Then I realized I was feeling sorry for myself.

When work at the restaurant is slow and I have time to feel the pain in my back, arms, feet and hands, I try not to think about what will happen if health problems mean I can't work. There's no sense in indulging such worries.

I remember there is no shame in being poor. Others seem to share that view. I was talking to one of my bosses about something I'd done in better times that involved spending money. I said, "I did that . . ."

". . . Before you were poor," she finished my thought matter-of-factly, without condemnation or pity.

The fact is, a fall from financial grace can happen to anyone. And in reality, I'm not really poor. The official poverty line for a one-person household is an income of $9,800 a year, and I'm still above that. And can I really be considered poor if I still have some savings, or still have my house?

I've decided that the only acceptable course of action, poor or not, is to consider this an opportunity. I used to wake up with the notion that my situation was temporary and that I'd somehow return to my "real" job. Now I have no illusions. But I do have solutions.

I've put in my notice at the restaurant in favor of a much better paying job at a new discount giant moving into town. The pay still will not be enough to live on, but it will do wonders to reduce my stress.

I've begun a pet-sitting business, taking care of pets in their own homes when their owners are away. I charge $10 to $15 a day, competitive with local pet boarders.

I volunteer my writing services for local nonprofits that I support. I've gotten active in community affairs that my previous occupation required me to keep at an arm's length.

I no longer define myself by what I do for a living. On the flip side, I won't base my identity on my income.

A number of readers have contacted us to find out how they might help Karen. Her response: "This really made my day. But I'm going to tell them to find someone closer to home who needs it more than I do." Karen hopes to deal with her circumstances through additional work and budgeting.

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Jeremy: Great article. It reminds us all that poverty is in the mind of the beholder, and that we are all just a few paychecks short of being less financially well-off than before. It is hard to remember that when you're dealing with the situation, but a little perspective is always beneficial.

Me: There was another story that tells of how a family on a $150,000 are struggling. Can you imagine?

Bob: Really a wake up call to all of us, I guess. You can earn alot and be poor too. Kind of depressing read

Patrick: "When it became clear that I'd be a campground dweller for a while, my boss fired me, telling me my living situation was "bad for business."

Excuse me? What kind of fucked up business lures someone clear across the country to become a freakin managing editor of a newspaper and then fires them when she has trouble finding a house? Either there's more to this story than she's revealing, or this is the single best case I've ever read of the need for stronger wrongful termination laws.

Me:From what I can surmise, a "small" newspaper may mean small circulation or weekly, which if is the case, managing editor means a do-it-all low-waged slave. I've heard of people who have to maintain a certain standard of livelihood befitting of their position. Why do you think that the new chancellor of Tech is living in a $1.65 million house? This expectation within or without such person would be met by where and how one lives, how and where one entertains, dresses etc. For instance, here at the A-J, the sales department women are forbidden to wear sleeveless tops, as that smacks of unprofessionalism to our clients (it really arises from ONE badly dressed gal and like the army, the rest of us suffers). It's all in the image. Despite what we choose to think, we not only represent ourselves to the public, we also represent what we do to them. Afterall, why do strangers often ask "Where do you work?" within the first few minutes of introduction?

Jeremy: We constantly have to have "dress code" reminder updates at every staff meeting thanks to a woman (who really should be gone from us, but was saved by the grace of a bureaucrat higher up in the university) who thinks sweatpants, sweatshirts and fuzzy house slippers are appropriate for work.

Patrick: I agree, it's silly to expect a managing editor to live like a homeless person. But if the paper is too small to help her with her housing needs, it shouldn't be hiring folks from Montana in the first place.

Say it to my face if you have the guts

2007-02-26T21:58:00.001-06:00

Hmm, where shall I begin?

I took a turn into a near-vacant parking lot of an upscale strip mall this Sunday, almost near closing time, when I spied a guy walking across the lot, acting too cool with his layered shirts, and disheveled rock star hair. It wasn't his appearance that put me off, but you can read the attitude of a bloke who thinks he's too sexy for his looks and all that, cuz he didn't employ the basic road-crossing 101 and that is to look both ways.

Anyway, I was going in what M called my Mario-Andretti lead-foot pace and decided to teach this guy a lesson - that the world doesn't owe him shit.

No, I didn't floor the car and rev the engine. When he looked over at the last minute and spotted my car, he expected me to stop for me. Instead, I just glided by and he was the one who had to put on his brakes. Ha!

After parking, I made a hasty visit into a women's clothing store and not finding anything, I bounded out of the store and headed into another store. It was here that I got a rude awakening; although in looking back, I shouldn't be surprised.

The bloke and I crossed paths in opposite direction, and I heard him muttered loudly under his breath "Bitch."

I was taken aback as I don't recall having anyone call me a name before. I have professed to being a bitch myself, but to be called one at such close proximity, that was interesting, to say the least.

I evaluated the situation as I was browsing. And I thought that was quite chickenshit of him. And I was glad I didn't turn around and dared him to say it to my face cuz I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of a reaction. I was pleased with my handling of the situation until I spent the next few seconds still pondering the situation and that's when I started to panic.

Jeez, if he were that angry at me to do such a cowardly thing, what next? He knows my car, the lot is near vacant, he could very well key it.

I hastened my pace out the door and did a once-around on my car. Thankfully, it was left intact. That was close.

I guess what I got out of this experience is that it's not worth it to teach someone a lesson. With his attitude, he'll get his just dessert in due time.

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Bob: You were spoiling for a fight weren't you?? LOL, glad you made it out alive!

Jeremy: I say stalk him, and cut his face up the next time you see him. Or maybe not.

I know it's bad to wish ill upon those who cross your path, but I've been pleasantly satisfied to see people pulled over for speeding by the Georgia State Patrol who were tailgating me--as well as those who wind up flying off the road and hitting trees.

Ling... maybe we have some pent up rage that needs to be let out somehow. Maybe through boxing. Hmmm...

Patrick: I do not doubt that the guy was a complete asshole, but I gotta be honest--there is no way that, if I were in his shoes, I would take it as some sort of lesson to be learned. I would simply assume you were some self-centered, distracted, um, bitch. But then again, in New York, we don't wait when we get pissed off at drivers. I've actually screamed at drivers who've threatened me while I was crossing the street. It's a much more open and honest hostility, you know?

Me: He may not learn a lesson but at least I didn't let him get away with it.

You'll do great in China, where pedestrians and drivers and cyclists at constantly running amok of traffic laws. It's definitely a mob mentality.

How Long will Myspace Last for Us?

2007-02-13T21:49:00.000-06:00

Just curious: how long do you think most of us will continue to utilize myspace? Afterall, so many social networking has come and gone -- Facebook, Xanga. And now myspace is being frequented by oldies like us. I doubt myspace was meant to reach my demographic.
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Jeremy: I think MySpace's end will come as News Corp. can't handle how many users utilize the service. I think it will stop being used if News Corp can't/won't upgrade its equipment.

I personally enjoy it because it's an easy way to keep in touch with old friends. A list of everyone with their pictures is on one page, without having to think about who has what e-mail address.

Those who use social networking do it for, usually, the following reasons: A) to genuinely keep in touch with friends made in the real world, catching up with old and new friends, B) To engage in a bit of narcissism and see how many pretty/cute people become their "friends", C) To seek liaisons of the lustful type (why else are their pictures of scantily clad women--and if you ID yourself in such a way, men--plastered in advertising all over the place?). Since I keep my profile set to private, I use MySpace for Reason A.

Me: That's what I use it for as well. So should you and any of my loyal old friends that myspace wasn't originally created for decide to move on, let me know.

Melissa: Wow. Good question! I don't know! It seems like a lot of people my age are just now jumping on the networking-site-bandwagon. Up until recently, whenever I'd ask somone over the age of 30 if they were on Myspace, the reply was usually "Am I on WHAT?" Or they'd bring up all the newspaper articles alleging pedophiles were preying on young children and teens. (And I'm not denying that doesn't happen.) So, I guess with the new wave of networkers, it might be around for a bit longer.

I used to be really skeptical of Myspace, mainly because it seemed like such a meat-market site. Everyone seemed fixated on who had the most friends, or at the very least who had the most attractive friends! But now I really enjoy it. I've reconnected with so many people that I either went to high school with, or who lived down the street from me when I was younger but who moved to other schools. I've also reconnected with old co-workers who have moved out of state. And several of my family members are also on the site, and it's a great central location for all of us to update each other on what is going on within the family (weddings, birthdays, parties, etc). I know it seems easy to just email each other with this kind of information, but a site like Myspace allows us all to interact with each other where we can all see, either via comments left on pages or photos places in blogs, etc. I kind of like this site now and hope it will be around a little longer.

Me: Should you relocate to another e-universe, let me know. I typically decline adding strangers to the list, but I'm glad I made the right exception for you.

Patrick: The funny thing is the site wasn't even concieved to be used this way; it was originally just supposed to be a way for bands to throw together a cheap web site to keep fans alert about upcoming shows. Which, to an extent, it still is.

I will stop using it when I either feel as if my friends have stopped paying attention, or if I discover something else. It's a tough call though, because some of my best friends still refuse to get anywhere near it, and I know I'll have a lot less time to waste on it if (god forbid) I ever get married, get a house and get a kid or two.

Me: True about the genesis. I am just wondering if we'll all be engaged in it when we hit middle age. I suppose we would since we are of the tech-savvy generation, and with all of us being more mobile than our parents, such means of communication will continue to connect the long-distanced pals. I cannot stand the idea of having to constantly move from one platform to another. I mean, I now have 3 e-mail accounts (one in hotmail cuz I am too lazy to move all my contacts to yahoo, which I am using for e-market correspondence, and then gmail for job searches). Unless there's a reason for opening another e-mail account, I'm all set. Like Jeremy said, if News Corp. cannot provide the necessary upgrades and/or god forbid, start charging, we will have to load up and move on.

Jeremy: And you hit another point with the multiple e-mail accounts: people will also use different social networking services to network differently for various reasons. I know that many people use MySpace as their general contact, but others use LiveJournal in addtion for only a specific subset of friends or other networking contacts. (This is more common in the gay community, where there are people who are not out of the closet at work or with their families, or with other friends.)

I envision a world where our generations, in the future, will be in our 70s but still using whatever world wide communications medium comes along to stay in touch with people. We grew up with rapid technological change and I think we'll continue to adapt much quicker than our parents or our grandparents.

Crossroads

2007-02-12T21:48:00.000-06:00

It just struck me that I don't know what I want to do when I arrive in Chicago.

The realization that there is a wealth of opportunities there compared to Augusta, Lubbock, Wichita, leaves me with this overwhelming feeling that I can do anything.

But having so many choices pose some challenges: What do I want to do? What should I do? What can I do?

Thirteen years of work, of which 12 are spent in newspaper editorial, and 1 in sales research. It seems I would be relegated to the publishing arena. But those of you who have been loyal readers of my blogs get a sense I want out of the newspaper business. The hours, dwindling profit margin, pay are not appealing. On the other hand, if I return to newspapering, I know I can continue to demand a higher pay scale given my experience (please don't be mistaken I make a lot).

Being more extroverted, sales and marketing seem logical. Here're some options I can think of:

Sales: I've no experience, but I like the idea of pursuing the almighty dollar, that given hard work, will have no boundaries. Real estate comes to mind. The downside of that: first year is a bitch since I've no contacts or connections. Not to mention the hours for being an agent is going to take me away in the evenings and weekends. Agencies are another option.With my newspaper background, maybe they will accept someone with my experience to be the print liason. I can certainly lend my editing/design experience to agency work.

Marketing: Again, no experience. Maybe the research and one year in sales department will help. The downside: event marketing, like real estate, demands odd hours and weekends.

Research: ABC Audit, AC Nielsens and a host of agencies and corporations are headquartered in the suburbs of Chicago. With one year of experience here, will they accept me as a junior member? The pay may not be great to start, but I definitely enjoy what I do. Downside: I don't know what to expect of the REAL world of REAL research. Afterall, I've no statistics, economics or math degrees under my belt.

Any advice for this old workhorse?

Hail the PIG

2007-02-08T21:46:00.000-06:00

After waiting 12 years, in exactly 9 days, it'll be Chinese New Year. But more importantly, it's my year. The Year of the Pig/Boar.

For those who don't know me well, or who think they know me, read the following. For the most part, it's pretty right on. (It's quite long, so be prepared to invest some time)

PIG
1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007

Pigs are models of sincerity, purity, tolerance, and honor. When you first meet them, Pigs seem too good to be true. They are careful and caring, obliging and chivalrous. Put your trust in him, he won't let you down and he will never try to. The Pigs simply want to do everything right.

Pigs are the people everyone admires most. Make a list of the Pigs in your life: aren't they the nicest, most loving and scrupulously caring people around?

Pigs are born to give, to yield and to serve. Frankly speaking, most people take advantage of this Pig nature. Also, not only are Pigs easy to fool, they like it that way too. No matter how old they get, Pig people still only see and believe that all men/women are basically good. Pig people constantly sacrifice their own happiness and comfort for the sake of somebody else.

The Pig is a splendid companion. If you have a lifetime Pig friend, don't think that your worries are over. Pigs are loyal, faithful and giving - only as long as they approve of you. In order to keep your lifetime Piggy friend, remember, never try to force your opinions on a Pig - A Pig rarely asks for help and cannot graciously accept it.

The Pig doesn't say much - but when he does decide to speak, suddenly, nothing can stop him until he runs out of subjects. Like the Monkey, the Pig is intellectual - a character with a great thirst for knowledge.

Some people claim that Pigs are snobbish. Manners, breeding and good taste are of enormous importance to them. In fact, pigs are aesthetic. Pigs are born with an excellent nose for style in everything. Food is another of Piggy's little sins. Pigs adore food, and after-dinner chocolates. The Pig often over-eats, but he eats with good taste.

In relationship, Pig people are sensitive, sweet but naive, and caring. They are romantic and certainly are the marriage-type. But on the other hand, Pigs are also possessive, jealous and exclusive.

..> ..> ..>..>

When encountering the Pig, we sense his or her quiet sincerity and purity. The Pig is so honest that he feels guilty for the slightest error, and he is more indulgent and forgiving of others than he is of himself. He is without artifice or pretense, and dislikes forcing himself on others or being the center of attention. Chivalrous, gallant, obliging, scrupulous to a fault, the Pig is naive, innocent, confident, and defenseless. He allows himself to be duped easily, accepts his own faults calmly, and those of others with tolerant understanding. He is incredibly sincere, almost to the point of doing himself harm, and always disarmed by the bad faith of others. He lies rarely, and then only to defend himself. Powerless against hypocrisy, he will often crucify himself in an attempt to justify his actions. He is an absolutely straight dealer and it's very rarely that he will accept a compromise. Ironically, though the Pig believes without question whatever anyone tells him, he is always finding it necessary to produce proof of what he himself asserts!

People born in the Year of the Pig have a taste for la dolce vita. Possessing a strong sense of luxury, they can be extravagant and take great pleasure in pampering themselves and their loved ones; they delight in the stimulation of the senses. However, when they need to work they will get right to it. At these times a half-hearted attitude just won't do; where they're concerned, it's all or nothing.

The Pig is a splendid companion, so much fun, and game for a risque evening. He doesn't say much, but when he does decide to speak, suddenly the barriers are down and nothing can stop him until the subject's exhausted.

Like the Monkey, the Pig is intellectual, a character with a great thirst for knowledge. He reads a lot, but reads anything that happens to be around. Although he appears to be well read, the Pig's knowledge is only superficial. Referring to this, a Japanese proverb says that the Pig is "wide of face but narrow in the back."

The Pig is sensitive, caring, and indulgent. Not only intelligent and cultured, the Pig also has a streak of bawdiness and earthiness. Their various indulgences can verge on gluttony. Unlike the conniving Machiavellian pigs of Animal Farm, Chinese Pigs tend to be helpless and insecure. During fat spells they suddenly lose all and are unable to defend themselves, much less attack others. Pigs in general are lucky but lazy.

Pigs can be very practical, logical and down to earth. They may at times be considered somewhat cool and reserved because, blessed as they are with composure and self-control, they don't usually allow emotion to cloud the issue. They are cheerful and love company and social life. They find it very easy to make friends and also seem to hang on to them for life. For them the Pig is capable of the greatest sacrifices. He is extremely considerate of the chosen few who do merit his affection. The women of this sign like nothing better than to make presents for people and organize parties; they are marvelous hostesses.

Whatever his ambitions may be, whatever the tasks and goals he has set himself, the Pig will do his duty with all the strength he is capable of, and that same strength can be an inner force to be reckoned with, a force that nothing can oppose. Once a Pig has come to a decision, nothing can stop him from carrying it out. But before he arrives at it, he spends ages weighing the pros and cons, which sometimes gives the impression that he is indecisive. Nothing could be further from the truth, but to make sure he is avoiding any possible complications, he will sometimes ponder for so long that he destroys his own case.

Untiring workers, Pigs will succeed in their careers, especially if they are their own boss. Because they like to accumulate ancient objects and fine pictures, they might become art dealers, specializing in antiquities. Their aim is to live in relative affluence, both for themselves and their families, and to enjoy the pleasures of life. Materially, the Pig will always have all the necessities of life, regardless of his chosen career. Work and money in sufficient quantities seems to gravitate his way without his having to make any particular effort. People will help him all his life, and thanks to this help he will be able, if he wishes, to reach the highest heights in the financial world.

Popular superstition in the East says that people help him thus just to fatten him up so he will make a better meal over the New Year. Because of this, the Pig may be overwary and trust nobody. If the Pig's birthdate is a long time before the traditional feasts, he will escape a lot of the disappointments in store for him. However, the closer it is to the Asiatic New Year, the more he will be betrayed, ridiculed, duped, and perhaps in the long run, eaten!

Though generally tolerant and fairly placid people, when absolutely backed into a corner, Pigs can turn vicious. When they find that their friendship and good nature have been seriously abused, they will give no quarter and that friendship will somewhat unceremoniously be cut short. Perhaps they can be accused of exhibitionism, of being flirtatious and even licentious at times, but there is no doubt that Pigs in general are very good sorts -- honest, decent, generous, supportive, loyal to their friends, and thoroughly trustworthy.

The first phase of the Pig's life will be relatively calm. During the second, every conceivable conjugal problem will be visited upon him. But whatever his troubles, the Pig, discreet and shy, will never ask anybody else for help; he'll try to get out of the mess by himself. His reticence in this respect may do him harm, for nobody will even suspect the torment he's going through.

The Passionate Pig

Above all else, Pigs are sensual, self-indulgent creatures. They adore anything that smacks of physical pleasure, whether it is gorging themselves with sweetmeats or idling a whole day away with their newfound heart throbs between their satin sheets. Passionate by nature, some younger Pigs could tend towards promiscuity while some of the older ones could well become bawdy and lascivious. Unfortunately for them, love seems somehow to befog many a Pig; when deeply smitten, their emotions become rather transparent and they can become putty in the hands of unscrupulous types who can induce them to behave quite out of character. They may often be deceived, often disappointed, often made a fool of ... and often loved. The female Pig makes a very good mother.

Pigs are loving and loyal to their mates, and caring and considerate towards those they love. In any close, intimate relationship it is friendship that the Pig will value most. Settled with the right partner, these generous, warm hearted individuals will enjoy happy and contented lives, developing their talents within that supportive framework and devoting themselves completely to their family and their loved ones. With their simplicity of soul and their sensual appreciation of nature, the Pig always seeks the authentic and the true in personal relationships.

The Pig would be well advised to share his or her life with those born under the sign of the Rabbit -- that's the surest way of avoiding arguments. They must keep out of the clutches of the Snake, who will make a complete slave out of the Pig in no time, enmeshing the Pig in his coils to the extent that the poor Pig loses all power of movement. The Ram will take advantage of him. Like the Rabbit, the Tiger and Rat are excellent partners for the Pig, but the Monkey is not honest enough for his taste.

December is the month of the Pig. The time of the Pig is from 9:00 p.m. to 10:59 p.m.; their direction of orientation is north-northwest. The Pig's color is dark blue.

Compatibility

(1 - least compatible, 100 - most compatible)

..> ..> ..>..>

Rat	88 - These two make marvelous mates
Ox	69 - Why not, it worth a try.
Tiger	77 - They are very different, but this will work.
Rabbit	91 - Very compatible. Everything will be good.
Dragon	94 - Most Dragon/Pig marriages last forever.
Snake	45 - The Pig can never please the Snake.
Horse	75 - This relationship worth a try.
Sheep	98 - One of the happiest possible combinations.
Monkey	81 - This could work. They admire each other.
Rooster	72 - The Pig is patient, this could work.
Dog	84 - They share their thoughts and feeling.
Pig	92 - An excellent match.

Here's the link to find Your Zodiac (just click on the Chinese character of your breed. No worries, there's English translation)

Finance Update

2007-02-07T21:45:00.000-06:00

Got the damage taken care of. It's a little more than 1k less than expected. But it still hurts.

For those of you in Augusta who someday need repairs done to the house, these are my recommendations so far (sight unseen for HVAC but good word of mouth):

Chuck Long - plumber (706) 589-4974
Cliff ____ - HVAC (recommended by Chuck) 706 -533-5816

Be sure to tell them Miss Ling of 2733 Edward Drive sent ya. My rep goes a long way.

Productivity at Morris

2007-01-31T21:38:00.000-06:00

Thought those of you who are not getting Morris correspondent will be interested in this e-mail:

Are you ready for a scavenger hunt with a twist?..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Find the

Apple I-Pod Shuffle

and Win It!!!!

The new Inside.Morris.com portal has received a complete facelift and we are so excited about it, we want to make sure everyone checks out the site. So, to entice you to visit the new portal, we invite you to participate in a scavenger hunt with a twist. Somewhere hidden within the new Inside.Morris.com portal, there is an Apple I-Pod Shuffle just waiting for you to click it and win it.

The contest to find the I-Pod will run for four consecutive Mondays, beginning on February 5. Each Monday, beginning at 12 noon Eastern Time, there will be a picture of a new Apple I-Pod Shuffle hidden somewhere within the contents of the Inside.Morris.com site. You must search the site, find the I-Pod and click on it to reveal the secret password. You will then be prompted to email the secret password to enter the contest. The first email with the password received will be the winning entry and the sender will win a new Apple I-Pod Shuffle.

There will be a total of four I-Pods given away – one I-Pod each Monday in February. Winners will be announced on the portal Splash page as soon as the winning entry is received.

So get ready to explore the new Inside.Morris.com

Happy Hunting!!!

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Jeremy: So, not only do they want their employees to waste time using the inane and badly designed corporate HR portal, but they also want to reward them with the CHEAPEST iPods out there.

Me: My thoughts exactly. How many songs can it contain and how long is the lame-o battery on that paperclip?

I'm so ready I'm pathetic

2007-01-26T21:37:00.000-06:00

OK, I've been seriously bitten by the baby-making bug for about 3 years now.

Most of you don't know this --for more than 2 decades, I resented children, even cute ones! Yes, I especially cannot tolerate their neediness. In some way, I now truly know why some subscribe to the notion that to not have children is a selfish thing. Not that I agree with that, but like politics, religion, Wal-mart, that's another subject I don't want to get tangled in.

Anyway, what makes me pathetic?

I was watching the travel channel last night. There was a great program that showcased the largest aquarium ( City of Arts and Science ) in the world in Valencia, Spain. Following that, it was a peek into Orlando's Sea World.

That was the feature that got me all gooey. They showed a segment where one of the killer whales was popping out a baby whale. It was the most amazing, clean (not taking into account that cloud of dark gas) and quick (well, after 4 hours of labor) mammal birth I've witnessed. Anyway, I was choked up with emotion.

So, there, a simple viewing of a whale birth got me all faklempt.

Plus, the number of impending pregnancies surrounding me from all 3 sides in the office. Aarggghhhh.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Amber: I, too, have been bitten by the baby bug but I know that the smart thing to do is hold off for at least another year or so until after Drew and I have settled into a home and have steady jobs. I cannot make it through a TLC "Baby Story" dry-eyed. I, too, am pathetic. :)

Jeremy: Good for you all. I personally have those pangs every now and again, when I look at a sweet, cute little toddler who's behaving him or herself, and I see the little girl or little guy reach up to their daddy for a hug. Those pangs decrease when they start screaming or throwing a tantrum in a public place, but they're still there every now and again.

Right now, I'm not ready for it. I'd prefer to have help (aka find the second daddy) be financially secure (which I'm still working on) and live in a state that won't discriminate against me when it comes time to adopt.

We're all going to hell

2007-01-25T21:34:00.000-06:00

A fellow myspacer posted this on his bulletin. Thought you'd like to see for yourself if you're going to hell (and not just because you'd engaged in the backward masking of "Hotel California").

http://lovegodsway.org/GayBands

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Jeremy: OMG. That is so freaking funny because it's basically my playlist on iTunes. I wish to Gawd that this is a joke.

Ted Nugent? Encouraging homosexuality? The most conservative and right wing of all rock stars? WTF! No self-respecting gay man would be turned on by that dude, even from back in the day, even in a loincloth (that's just incredibly gross).... shudder...

You should see the "safe" bands.

I'm sorry, but Cyndi Lauper? She's every lipstick lezzie's wet dream. C'mon... "She-Bop"?

Snowstorm in Lubbock

2007-01-22T21:33:00.000-06:00

I'll preface the pics by giving some context, though. Southwest Texas was slammed by some cold spell over the weekend. While in house arrest, I took some pictures. The link is here:

http://spotted.lubbockonline.com/pages/gallery.php?gallery=317377

News We Can Use .1

2007-01-08T21:31:00.001-06:00

Welcome to the first installment of News WE can Use. As you can see, I didn't use "You" as I am in no position to patronize anyone.

Question: What does overnight mean to you when you are mailing a package? Very likely the next day, right?

Answer: Well, the Friday before New Year's Day, I went to the local PostNet branch to mail a packet stuffed with big bills to M, who lost his only cash-acquisition card the night before.

I told the fella I wanted it to get there ASAP, overnight. He asked if I wanted it there by 3:30 p.m. or 10:30 a.m. I found out the cost difference was a mere $4. So I request for 10:30 a.m., and verified again that it is "overnight, right?"

So Saturday morning came, and I called M at 11 a.m. to verify he got the packet. He told me it didn't arrive, and he checked the tracking number on the Web site, and it stated it's already arrived in the Fedex office. But it won't be delivered until Jan 2, a Tuesday.

I was livid. Those of you who had witnessed me in a rage can imagine my outburst to Fedex when I called their 800 number. I was a complete basketcase and I was yelling and crying (yes, crying) at the customer rep about the incredibly insipid customer service I received. And how could anyone not have explained to me (like she had done on the phone) that overnight on Friday means overnight NEXT BUSINESS DAY! And how important that package is for someone who is stranded in a new place. And what they can do to make an effort to ensure he gets the package that day.

But she said there is nothing they can do. And that overnight generally means next business day, unless I specified I was overnight weekend!

So there M is, spending his first weekend with only $10, and having a long weekend to boot with little to no means.

Thankfully, for PostNet, I had a few days to calm down before I storm to the office the next business day. Which was the first thing I did on Tuesday. Well, I didn't storm in. I was actually quite professional. But I did express to the manager that I'm disgusted with the lackey who sold me the service and not have the good sense to know his job. I got a full credit on future purchase for the inconvenience.

So, the moral of the lesson is don't count on good customer service from anyone, anywhere. And hope you didn't have to go through what I did.

This concludes "News WE can Use"

It's Just Money, Right?

2007-01-06T21:41:00.001-06:00

I'm so depressed I don't even know where to begin.

Ok, I still have this rental house in Georgia. Today, the renter e-mailed me and told me that the heater has gone out again. There was a patch-up fix last year apparently. Anyway, I got in touch with a plumber I trust in Augusta to recommend a HVAC guy, who promptly went to the property.

Anyway, I got a phone call from the renter that the news is not good and I'll hear it from the HVAC guy tomorrow. It appeared we have to replace the whole damn unit as the gas line has a crack in it. Because of that, HVAC guy has to shut off the line and my renters have to stay in a hotel. According to my renters, the last time we had a minor repair made, an estimate of $4600 came up to replace a unit. So we should be expecting to pay that much this time around.

Now, we aren't exactly rich. Sure, we have equity. But what's the good of that if we have no cash flow, right?

M just paid 1 month's rent, 1 month's deposit (and it's no small sum) for a rental in Chicagoland. He needs a bed. And there's the air tickets that I had bought for Feb and March. Not to mention about $470 repair sometime next month for a CV joint in the VW.

The situation really sucks right now. But what can I do? "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change/Courage to change the things I can/And the wisdom to know the difference" I keep chanting.

Afterall, it's only money, right? Our health is intact, we have roofs over our head, we have jobs. The money just will have to be re-earned in due time.

I guess it's time to bust out the credit card and suck up the interest.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jeremy: I'm sorry to hear about all the problems. I am sure it will work out. I also hope that you might be able to, hopefully, sell the house in Augusta.

Read the contract--you could be liable to reimburse them, but if it's not spelled out, it's up to you. Mine is very specific with the current rental property but doesn't specifically state anything about temporary lodging (I'd probably go down the road to my grandparents' house, to be honest, if anything happened).

Be glad you have the credit card to bust out. Some of us are left to our own devices.

Patrick: Wow, for the first time in my life, I actually feel sympathy for a landlord. That truly sucks; hang in there.

Me: I calculated last night that I made out at least $6000 in repairs last year! Anyone knows how much Uncle Sam reimburse during tax time?

Melissa: I'm so sorry I'm just now seeing this!! My goodness! Like you said, you have so many other things to be grateful for - good health, jobs, etc - but at the same, ARGH!!!! Damn financial set backs!!! You have every right to scream (or blog!). I'll be thinking about you guys and sending you some "good rental repair" vibes!

Moving On Up

2006-12-07T21:28:00.001-06:00

to the Midwest. Back to the Midwest again. My life is a constant shift between the Midwest and the South.

Timeline: Michigan - S.C. - Kansas - Ga - Texas - Illinois

Yes, you heard it here first. We are headed to the Windy City. The suburbs, actually.

M will be starting his new gig, back to content management in the 150,000-strong Daily Herald, the 3rd largest Illinois paper after the sadly-Tribune-run Chicago Tribune and the Sun News group Sun-Times.

I will be staying in Lubbock to finish up a full year in my new gig, packing and cleaning house. I should be joining him in May.

Am I sad to leave Lubbock? Contrary to popular belief, heck yeah. We bought a house in July and love living out there. Now, we may not even afford to buy one for a few years in Chicagoland. Our getaway

There's also our employers (no, not Morris) - the publisher and the ad director. They may not garner too many fans but to Mand me, they are good, solid people. And you, my friends, know that I know good folks when I see them.

But like they said, there're always tradeoffs.

We're going to miss attending college football games, no matter how inconsistent Tech is. Northwestern football sucks! I'll be sure to wear my Michigan T-shirts on game days. But we'll have plenty of pro games to attend. Great, now I have to figure out baseball. Can never understand that game.

Housing: Much as I whined and complained about the exorbitant rental in Lubbock, it is not any better in Chicago.

Food: I'm starting to feel fat just thinking about it. Already, I spied a huge Asian supermarket, albeit mostly Japanese Asian markets; Mitsuwa. AND I get to pop into Chinatown in the city proper for dim sum anytime. There's even a Southeast restaurant there. Mmmm, Hainanese chicken rice, laksa, mee siam, popiah, rendang Penang Restaurant ...... And helloooo, spinach deep dish and all you ambiance-conscious restaurants.

Shopping: While not as ardent as I used to be, I still look forward to the variety when it comes to gift-giving time.

Culture: No stranger to Chicago's offerings, I no longer have to try to see everything in a short trip. But if you should come visit, you're on your own to the Art Museum if you insist on seeing the Impressionist paintings. I need to venture to the other wings. Oh, does Six Flags count for culture, too? I can't wait now that I'd gotten over my coaster fears.

Meet up with you later!

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Bob: I can see you can't wait to get out of texas! Happy packing!

Me: Regardless of what people think of Texas, or Lubbock, it does provide a good standard of living. The major inconvenience of Lubbock is its remoteness. Flying in and out of Lubbock can get costly in some instances. Mark and I love to travel and we are stoked by the idea of last-minute offerings from O'Hare. The other downside is its lack of good restaurants. I'm a Singaporean, for crying out loud. Eating is what we do.

Bob: and it shows too!!! ha ha ha ha

Patrick: Wow, you've lived in more places than most people in the military! That's so cool that you get to make the windy city your next destination. I have yet to hear a bad thing about that place. Congrats!

Dan: Hooray! Best of luck in Chicagoland. Just stay off the Ryan at all times. Evil, that thing is.

You'll also have to do The Taste during the summer. Hotter than Hades on a bad day, but good gracious all that food ...

So I now go from knowing 2 people in Lubbock to zero. Scratch that from my list of places to visit.

and you've passed me again on places lived. I figure I'll catch up eventually ... but not for a while. Me likes the beach too much.

Again, congrats!

Enough possessions already!

2006-11-10T17:27:00.001-06:00

I'm looking around my rental home in Lubbock and wondered why the hell did I unpack so much of our load.

I had pictures hung up on the wall, loads of kitchenware stashed in cabinets. And now I'm moving out in mid-December. I know we leased this place for 6 months but the homemaker in me just can't resist making the present place homey. Now, I have to start taping up the boxes and packing the miscellaneous back.

I only started househunting (for rent, not to own) yesterday and today, I lucked out finding one in a good neighborhood that has two tennis courts, playground and lake nearby, and for $300 less.

Since I never got into a habit of soaking, the small tubs don't faze me either. I hope I can convince M to take it. The public tennis courts and cost more than make up for the flowery granny wallpaper.

The cost of rental in Lubbock is ridiculous considering the standard of living here is low and cost of living high.

Most newer homes rent for $1000 onwards, and the older houses with the panel wood walls and musty carpets rent for $900.

My renters in Augusta should realize they scored well with our home.

They got it for a song.

You Spin Me Right Round

2006-10-05T21:25:00.000-05:00

I'm finally ready for Sandusky.

You see, ever since my first coaster ride in 1996, I'd never dared ventured on another until last week when I was at the happiest place on earth - DisneyWorld.

I hopped on the newest ride at Animal Kingdom in search of the Yeti on "Everest," Epcot's "Space Mountain," and the Magic Kingdom's "Splash Mountain". Then I did what every Disney aficionado recommended by heading to MGM's "Tower of Terror" and the Aerosmith "Rock and Rollercoaster", and finally, back to Epcot's "Fast Track"

And for the record, I got on those rides more than twice!

Now, I'm ready to combat the outside twirley-whirleys, I think. For those who had never been to DisneyWorld, the coasters at Space Mountain and Aerosmith are really indoor (read dark). You can't see the scare coming. We'll see how I fare if I ever make it to Arlington, TX or Sandusky, Ohio.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bob: I had thot Space Mountain was a kiddy ride! My son brought me along (all 5 years of age then) and when the ride started, I knew something was "wrong"! Darn! It was an indoor roller coaster! I was hanging on tight and one hand grasping my son Max lightly (I didn't want to scare him). When we came out I was flusterred (cussing under my breath) and Max was going "Pa, I like, y'know"!

Patrick:

Be careful though. It was this kind of ride that got me to go sky diving.

And congrats on conquering your fears!

Me: LOL. You know, we made sure to stop by and check out our faces after each ride. My next coaster goal is to make sure I look great in those pics. Talk about low self-esteem after scanning for our faces! But, seriously, now you're scaring me. That challenging, huh?

Happiest Place on Earth? Not Really

2006-09-25T21:22:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow, I am setting off for a vacation I looked forward to since June, July? But I probably will be sobbing a little (I always cry at airports) as I make my way to check-in solo.

Some of you were recipients of my panic phone a few days ago when I found out from M that he had to cancel his end.

The root of this evil once again lies in the corporate tools. He went to KC at almost the eleventh hour last week for some corporate deal. I received a phone call the night before he's scheduled to return that he won't be able to make the vacation as some last-minute budget adjustments must be made. Needless to say, I'm devastated. And so was the rest of his family, whom we'll be having this unofficial mini-vacation with.

Hence, the rabid phone calls I made to friends who have kids or who are single to see if they want to take over his Disney packet. After all the panic, my sil managed to get her nephew to join us, I found out last night. All is almost well again. We didn't lose the money, and M's airfare with Southwest can be used for up to one year from day of purchase, with no penalty charge. One hurrah for Southwest.

But what makes me ill and so ironic is that we are going to the supposed happiest place on earth, and I doubt I can be truly happy without him there.

Feminists may deem me weak, that I need a man to make me happy, and that I can't be independent enough to enjoy by myself and with my other loved ones (I'm fortunate my in-laws and I get along fabulously). But he truly is my better half, and life is just simply more enjoyable with him around.

The other frustration is that while I'm enjoying myself in Orlando, M is toiling away for THE MAN (yes, we are actually serving the real man/men, keeping their McMansions, and golf club memberships intact). It's too infuriating. And there's nothing right now we can do anything about it. And really, that's another blog for another time, when I'm sure there're no "traitors" in friends of friends who will let slip my hatred for THE CORPORATION.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jeremy: In regards to the last paragraph, you have a "fellow traveler" in me. Just in time for Wednesday's "employee appreciation day" where everyone who doesn't work with the public can dress down. That's never meant me.

Patrick: Wait, you're going to the happiest place on earth? You should have told me you were coming to New York City; I'd totally be your tour guide!

Christina: You know you're preaching to the choir when you're talking about how evil THE CORPORATION is. And now THE CORPORATION and its minions have hacked me off even more by ruining your vacation with Mark. Comfort yourself that someday the corporation, The Man and his minions will burn in a very special room on the 13th ring of Hell. I've asked some of my associates at Vatican Central to help arrange this...

Professional Respect

2006-09-19T21:19:00.000-05:00

Since joining a different set skill here, I've come to respect the worker bees that keep the business alive more.

When I was at the newsroom, the tension between the sales and news teams were rumored to be intense. I played along, being the follower I was, and created this animosity towards them within me.

Now that I'm with the sales force, I see and sense the tremendous pressure they are put under. And if you ask me now if these folks deserve the "high" pay they are getting, and driving the sort of cars they drive, then for the most part, I think so. It's not a fun job to ask a stranger to part with money. And it takes savvy and math acuity, to boot. I have it easy, to be honest. And I feel guilty when I approach the sales rep to see if they had considered this piece of research to support their cause, or why they didn't pursue that account. Although, to be fair, there are some lazy asses who'd rather be order takers, than soliciting new businesses, or thinking of new and creative ways to package a message.

Another newfound respect that I have for a while now are to the reporters. Today, I had a last-minute task to go interview a retired lady at a retirement home for a women's section that advertising is publishing in conjunction with a marketing women's event. No, this is not my job duty. But being in the committee means I help out when needed.

It was tough having to do that at 2 p.m. with a 4 p.m. deadline. The interview took an hour, and it got better as I got over my initial self-doubt. While it is a feature piece (150 words at most), there's the break-the-ice moment, the constant reminder not to come across as patronizing, to constantly smile. Absolute emotional and physical drain at the end of it.

To my friends out there in the many different jobs you do, unless you truly are doing a piece-of-cake work, you're doing great.

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Opposites do Attract

2006-09-13T21:18:00.001-05:00

So, I often kill time after work by logging into myspace and seeing what the rest of you are up to. Tonight, I came upon Jill's new set of quizzes. I took them and upon sharing my results with M, he decided to take a break and do a few, too. Here are our results:

Which Classic Movie are you?

Me: Platoon
Him: Easy Rider

Which Famous Leader are you?
Me: Hitler
Him: Einstein

Which Hogwarts school do you belong to?
Me: Slytherine
Him: Ravenclaw

Ying, Yang

Milk to my coffee

We are perfect for each other -- we balance each other -- we complete each other

I'm sure my friend Karen can relate to this.

Eye Surgery Aftermath

2006-09-13T21:16:00.000-05:00

I'm rid of my contacts and glasses.

Finally, after years of wondering and wishing, I confronted the searing laser.

The experience itself was pleasant -- my eye care center consultant was there to allow me to squeeze her tiny fingers and there pre and post-operation as well to asure me everything was going to be OK.

It was.

The only scary part is doing all the research before that and not knowing what the experience was going to be like.

For those who are considering laser eye surgery, other than having to find out who the trusted local surgeons are in your area, the only advice I can offer is GO DO IT!

I went through a battery of tests a few days before my operation, and on the day itself was provided plenty of numbing drops. I didn't feel except for the pressure of the little brush clearing away the epithelium (the topmost thin layer of the cornea) and then it's to stare straight into the orange light.

How did I keep my stare without blinking? Easy. Tape was plastered around my eyes to hold a Clockwork Orange-like contraption that prys my eyes open. Again, no pain.

A few seconds of the laser zapping away at my cornea and a bandage contact lens was put over my cornea to protect it as it heals.

I was told to expect lots of pain on the 3rd day, and fluctuating vision.

Sunday came, and no pain.

Today, I went for my 2nd post-op checkup, which included removal of my bandage contact lens. The verdict -- because I took care to use my medicated drops, lubricating drops, daily dose of Vitamin C etc, that my healing is remarkable.

Although I do not have perfect vision now (nearsightness has some blurriness), I can still make my way around really well.

For clarification, I did not have Lasik. I had PRK.

Lasik involves the cutting of the epithelium (resulting in a flap, which after the cornea lasering, the flap is restored and set to heal.

PRK involves the brushing away of the epithelium (no flap here), cornea lasering, and bandage contact lens, and new epithelium cells growth.

Flap for one, no flap for the other. Simple.

Another difference, Lasik vision restoration is almost instant. PRK is slower -- takes a few weeks to 3 months.

Eye Surgery Query

2006-09-06T21:14:00.000-05:00

A really straightforward blog: does anyone know or has gone through PRK (photorefractive keratectomy) surgery. It is NOT Lasik. It does not involve the cutting and peeling and restoring of the cornea. Instead, the process is more akin to scraping the cornea. It's been around longer than Lasik.

If you have any information or feedback, let me know asap.

Forget the 3-second rule

2006-09-06T21:11:00.001-05:00

And always wear shoes outside. While we are at it, gloves, too.

First of all, thanks to Christina for the advice pertaining to the critter blog. (Frankly, do you guys check back to see if your comments are answered? I do! Yeah, I need validation and a life.) My shoes will be thoroughly shaken to rid them of any pestilence.

Speaking of which, another set of critters were delivered to us, courtesy of our fearler predator Bubba.

I awoke this morning to find that our small patio table was shifted away from the wall. Since I told myself umpteenth times not to sweat the small stuff anymore, I let it be.

Now, my morning ritual involves lugging an array of supplies to bring to work, like my copies of the local paper and the WSJ, bills, sometimes, the travel coffee mug, my jacket etc. (and you fellas thought we stop at handbags), I flung today's offerings, the papers, on our bigger patio table.

The slam it made on the metal table would hardly serve as a wakeup call to one's neighbors but M jumped, and told me to essentially cool it, and take a chill pill. I'm paraphrasing, of course. But few things cause my husband to be jumpy and I asked what the big deal was. He asked if I didn't hear a sound, a squeak essentially. And I calmly said: Oh, is that what that sound was. What is it?

Now, most of you are pretty wise by now where the story is going. But trust me, if you were me this morning and you're not a morning person, you can be oblivious to a lot of things.

He said Bubba caught a field mouse. And he, M, rescued it, which explains why the small patio table is pulled away from the door cuz our clawed cat was flicking it about. I've seen him done that before. That cat is so sadistic, I love it!

Now, why the hell would you want to do something like that, I asked him. Just kill the damn pest. Yah, and I'm born Buddhist. He said there's no reason for a mouse to be subjected to such torture and he used my decorative tealight candle holder to store it for the time being.

Urghhhhh, I feel so contaminated. I know it's no big, mean rats but they are all in the same family. I don't feel so good living in the country all of a sudden. And I'm real proud of my cat who is serving us well in return for his maintenance and lodging.

As we were getting ready to head out, M noticed a limp gray matter on the deck and we recognized it to be another field mouse. A dead one. My cat managed to get to it in time. Good for Bubbs, I say. Frankly, sometimes, I'm really glad my eyesight isn't that great to see all the details.

So, this finally brings me to my point that I will never ever abide by the 3-second rule again. If any food, utensils etc fall anywhere in and outside the house, it goes right to the sink.

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Melissa: LOL!!! After that story, I'll probably think twice about abiding by the 3-second rule too! ;-) Along the same lines, when I was still living at my parents house (so, if memory serves me correctly, this took place some time during high school), a mouse somehow became trapped beneath the floorboards in my bedroom. All night long, I would hear it clawing and chewing. *shiver* I tried to convince myself that it was a 'friendly' mouse by naming it Fievel (from "An American Tale"), but it didn't work! LOL!!! Every night, I had visions of this monster mouse chewing its way through the floorboards and carpet, and then running across my pillow!!! ... We don't know whatever happened to Fievel. One day, the noises just stopped. We don't think he met his demise down there, because we never smelled anything. He must have just finally decided to turn around and go back out the way he came in! *shrugs*

Christina: We thank God have never had a problem with mice in our house here in Columbia although a few others have. What we HAVE had in the neighborhood, however, which is worse...is...(scary horror movie music inserted here)....RATS. This is because we have a lot of manmade lakes in the area with drainage pipes and spillways and etc. and unfortunately these are areas which tend to attract....rats. They thankfully rarely come up into houses but just to see one running around in any proximity to your dwelling is unnerving. This is why I am also thankful the lakes provide us with plenty of snakes to keep the rat problem under control. We also have red-tailed hawks from the nearby Fort that fly over and practice rodent control so that is a help. As for ever seeing one even near my home, I'd probably have a coronary.
As for field mice, I could probably handle them okay. and I'd rescue them too. However, any rat who ever came near me would get a shovel to the head!

Where the Wild Things Are

2006-09-02T21:08:00.000-05:00

Since being in my home in the country for a little over a month now, the creatures are coming out of the woodwork. I only wish I have photos taken, but they won't look sightly next to the toilet paper floating in the toilet bowl where I tossed them. Gotta flush those suckers away.

First sucker: scorpion
Yup, not your typical dark shelled stinger. The 2 I've found so far are translucent white. They still have that curled tail.
The first time I found one, it was on my bathroom sink.
The second time I found one, it was on my bathroom floor.
They were both discovered in my groggy, almost-blind morning state. I could've stepped on it.

Second sucker: centipede
Before I had a chance to research on these babies, I picked it up and sent it to the porcelain bowl. Now, I found out that house centipedes are good controls for spiders and other small insects. Still, how am I to know if this centipede was a house or outside one. Apparently, outside centipedes cannot be controlled. Since I live out in the country, and surrounded by desert fauna, I better be safe than sorry.

Now, I add another routine to bedtime, flipping the covers, checking all surfaces. And to meal time, washing all cookware to make sure there ae no evidence of creepy crawlies.

This is the country lifestyle I've to compromise for being surrounded by beauty. Small price, I guess, until I'm stung or bitten by one of these creatures.
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Patrick: Oh wow, and to think I got worked up over mere camel crickets and cockroaches. I can handle big spiders too, but scorpions? Aw hell no!

Christina: Ling -- had no idea you were in scorpion country. Rule #1: CHECK YOUR SHOES. If you have closed toed shoes or slippers sitting around shake them out before you put them on in the morning. Scorpions love dark moist environments, especially shoes. This was the first lesson taught to me when I visited friends in Mesa, Arizona a few years ago. They were still freaked out by the scorpions having just moved there but I told them I'd trade scorpions in exchange for no humidity, no mosquitoes and no palmetto bugs anyday!

Good thing you're checking cookware because for some reason certain lizards like to curl up in teaputs, kettles and pots. Again, I wouldn't mind doing that in exchange for never having to see another three inch palmetto bug!

Melissa: Wow!!! Scorpions!!! And inside, no less! Ewww! *shivers* I didn't know there was such a thing as a tranluscent white one!

Brotherly Love

2006-08-25T21:07:00.000-05:00

Every day, when we pull into the carport, Bentley runs up to the front of the car, delirious of the fact the one day, our feet may slip from the brakes, and his burgeoning body may end up in a flattened mess.

Thank goodness, my precious mutt had learned to back up a little before charging to the headlights, repeating the motion until the car comes to a stop.

Is it animal instinct or is it his brother, Bubba, the wiser creature, who meows at him from atop the steps, warning him to stay away from the steel machine?

The sight of the little tabby meowing gently at his brother never ceases to bring a smile to us at the end of a long day. What is he saying to him?

"Back off, you idiot?"Nah, he loves him too much to use that language.

Research has indicated that different breeds of animal communicate by body language and phermones. So what exactly is Bubba trying to tell Bentley when he meows at him? www.messybeast.com/cat_talk2.htm

Some of you had never met Bubba. He's the first cat that ever stole my heart. While he's independent (selfish, some may say but I disagree), he's extremely affectionate and always returns home after a long day outside, and speaks with you. He meows, we meow back at a similar pitch and style. He purrs, we reply by rolling our "r's". This exchange carries on until we the human get well, tired. Then he'll just be content to plop down by us, usually me. He's almost like the ideal dog. While Bentley is a lovable dog, he's hardly what I deem ideal.

He doesn't care for toys nor play catch. Bubba doesn't mind chasing things.

Bentley will lie still, contently, when we rub him. Bubba loves to his belly rubbed and will playfully try to scratch or gnaw gently at our teasing hands.

Another endearing trait of Bubba is his brotherly love toward his jealous brother. When he gets a chance to walk by Bentley, he will swish his tail gently at his snout, and stop for a moment, pressing his little body to Bentley's chest. Sadly, Bentley doesn't reciprocate -- he'll just be really still wherever he is, thinking that if he doesn't return the favor, Bubba will move on. My smart kitty got the message. But unlike us humans who may hold grudges, he just presses on daily. It frustrates and tickles us at the same time to see this act of love and oblivion.

Bentley does engage in some contact with Bubba, most notably the one where he would walk up to the cat, sniff and snort, and go on his way. We have no idea what that meant. Is it a macho way of his, saying "Here, don't say I ignore you!"

It's hard to think that many years ago, I swear I'd never want a cat or that I would have time for a dog. Now we have 2 boys, and I couldn't be more happy we have them to come home to.

Any Mousketeers Out There?

2006-08-24T21:05:00.001-05:00

My sister-in-law is a topnotch bargain hunter. Our cruise to the Bahamas in 2004 was organized by her, and we paid an obscenely low rate (I forgot) for the weeklong excursion and we got to have a suite with a balcony.

This time, her intrepid skills has once again nabbed us a deal to DisneyWorld. $500 for 5 days, all meals, transportation, lodging, park passes included. And it's off-peak! She's done this for at least 5 years now. I'm going to start leaving the travel plans to her. The only downside is I gotta put up with her manic-depressive husband. Aargh. I know he'll tag along with M and me and leave the two kids to my sil to watch.

I digress.

I'm sure some of you had been to DisneyWorld, Epcot etc. Any suggestions on what I GOTTA do and see? BTW, I'm staying at Port Orleans. And don't stop at the parks. As you well know, M is an avid photographer. Any cities we should spend time visiting? Keep the details rolling.

Augusta in the limelight

2006-08-22T20:59:00.000-05:00

Wow, it's been a while since I last posted. Good thing, too. Seems like I usually blog about shit happening in my life.

Well, life's been good. Enjoying the hard-earned house. Learned a new dessert - Lemon Ginger Cake with Blackberry Curd Filling. Doesn't that sound so Junior League or whatever those frou-frou ladies' club is called in Georgia?

Ah yes, the headline. The Wall Street Journal in the 8/21 or 22 issue profiled Augusta, Ga., as the dreamy retirement city. And it took up half the Berlin-sized page. Nothing against Augusta. I love you folks, I still have my house there. But, for those unsuspecting foreigners, the article made Augusta out to be the Bahamas of the South. When they wax poetic about the medical complexes, the "short" distance to mountains, and big cities, and oh, the Riverwalk. The Riverwalk's not bad, but it ain't the one at San Antonio, for crissake.

Ask Damon Cline for the past issue. No more than 3 days from today.

That's all, folks. Take care.

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Christina: "Short" distance to mountains???? What do they term short? It's at least two to three hours to the Georgia ones, and more than that to South Carolina/North Carolina...
That cake sounds like heaven...

Jeremy: Augusta is more like the Pittsburgh of the South, except hotter than a blast furnace from April through October, and sometimes November.

Patrick: You know, I've heard that of all the rust-belt cities (Cleveland, Detroit, Allentown, Springfield, Mass, Hartford) Pittsburgh has rebounded the best, and is actually a decent place to live. I never thought I'd say this, but for once, I agree with the Wall Street Journal. I mean, I haven't read the story, so I don't know if they went overboard (I'll wager sure they did), but I can see how Augusta would be a decent place to while away the last years of your life.

Or to put it another way, it's a lot better than some of the typical retirement destinations in Florida, that ultimate geriatric playground. The day I stopped looking down at Augusta was the day I visited Ocala, Florida, which is the kind of place where you only go there to die. There was no history, no culture, no center of gravity, no waterfront--just miles upon miles of strip malls, swamps, chain restaurants and gated-off retirement colonies where grandchildren can visit but never, EVER live.

Then again, Augusta ain't no Bahamas either. I'm just happy my parents are retiring in Northern Vermont. :)

A Tale of Sweat and Tears

2006-07-29T20:57:00.000-05:00

"Thank you for choosing Bank of America. It is our goal that you be highly satisfied."

Yeah, try again. But not with me. Cuz you aren't getting my business ever again.

It's cliche to say I never thought the day would come to close on the house in Lubbock, but it certainly felt that way for since the beginning of July.

I did my homework by calling on a few financial institutions for preapproval and eventually settled on the one with the lowest interest rates and up to $2000 in closing costs covered by them. That would be Bank of America.

When the ordeal begins I don't rightly recall. It's definitely in the first week of July. But I do remember the process very well.

First, the rookie refused to give me anything in writing, not even a Good Faith Estimate, to show that my rate has been locked. I had asked him for 2 earlier for other houses we were interested in. We got those. But the final one, he said he wouldn't give because the "confirmation number" we got would be null and void and we would have to go to the back of the line, and that would slow the process down. But he assured me he will relock it in a few days' time at the same rate.

Well, in a few days' time, he called me and said we got the same rate but we also were hit with discount points. That's the money (roughly $500) we have to pay in our closing for relocking at a later time. I told him that I shouldn't be hit with those points due to his relunctance to lock the rates when I told him to, and that I am really furious with him for misleading him. I took the issue to his boss, who later reimbursed me with a credit to my savings account.

Second problem: the loan is now carried to the corporate BOA lenders who are checking for every detail in my past credit history. One of them called me and asked if I own any property. I told her I still own a house in Augusta, Ga., which I am currently renting. She indicated that is going to slow the process down as it wasn't "disclosed." I told her it wasn't "disclosed" because I wasn't asked about it, and wouldn't it be the local loan officer to ask me for every document (which he didn't ask for a single one) before sending my file up to corporate? They tried to pin it on me that I was "hiding" information. She said I told Bill the rookie I'm renting. I said, of course, I'm renting. I'm renting right now in Lubbock. But that doesn't mean I don't own a house somewhere, too. Bill the village idiot didn't ask the right question. And I can't think of providing every detail of my life as there's too much of it. The loan officer needs to ask the right questions. That's what they are paid to do.

Third problem: Another call from corporate. And they said this is the last one and we can close in a day or two. They need proof of my savings. That I have enough money in my bank account for the last 3 months, my paycheck, and my W2s from the last 2 years. I printed my bank statements from the computer as the paper version has not arrived. And I marched into Bill's office to have him copy and fax them to corporate. I got a call later that day saying they cannot accept the most recent statement as it doesn't have my account number on it. I told them the last "statement" is not a real statement as the month is not over yet. But if they use common sense and see that my name on it matches that from the 2 before it, it should work, right? But, no, they won't accept it. I called my bank and had a manager there fax me their copy with my SSN, name, account number.

Fourth problem: They called me that night (around 7 p.m.), and told me that they ran into another problem. The W2 shows a different name from the place of employment. I tried to explain to them that Mr. Morris, the man who owns the Augusta Chronicle, does not own only newspapers, but ranches, pecan farms, horses, tourist publications, radio stations, magazines, and they fall under the umbrella name that's on the W2s. They can google it and find out. But that took about 15 minutes of explanation and they said they'll do it tomorrow morning.

Oh, you'd have gathered the closing is not happening by now. But they said that should be last problem and we can close by week's end.

Fifth problem: They called and said the whole company name thing checked out OK, but do we know we are buying a leased land property? Now, this property works differently from most houses y'all would come to own, if you haven't already. We are on a state park. The house you buy belongs to you once it's paid for, but the land is yours for only 50 years. We don't care what happens after 50 years, personally, cuz we don't plan to be in Lubbock forever. But the bank is fretting over that. I told them I'm aware of it and am surprised they are not, since I asked every lender (3 if you recall) if they will lend for this particular venture. They all said yes. Bill the rookie said yes. Apparently, Bill the rookie didn't inform them that. Now, corporate is freaking out cuz this is something new to them.

Sixth problem: They need an appraisal. I told them they can get it from the seller who already has them. No, they need a new appraisal since they found out it is a leased land. We said fine, let us know when the appraiser is showing up.

Seventh problem: "Ling, why aren't you employed for 6 months?"
"Err, because I had to move and I can't find a job that fast. And I wanted to take a break."
" Can you write a letter explaining that?"
"Sure."

Eighth problem: "Ling, we can close tomorrow. But you have to pay PMI because you were unemployed for 6 months." Basically, the bank doesn't think I have the money to pay my mortgage.
"But I'm working now, and I'm not making any less from before."
It didn't matter with them. And they said the PMI is no big deal and I can pay it off fast.
I told them, I am still paying my PMI and it is not easy to shake off. Besides, the most important thing is, I told Bill the village idiot, when I decided to go with BOA, that I want an 80-10-10 loan so I won't have PMI, and that I also didn't want discount points.
Now, they try to hit me with both, one of which I managed to get out of.
They still insisted my 6 months of unemployment put me in an unfavorable light (that in spite of my near-perfect 750 credit score, and stable employment now), hence they can't give me an 80-10-10 but a 90-10.
I told them I need to talk to my husband about it but we are very likely not going to go with them if they insist on the PMI and 90-10.

Now, this is 3 weeks of ordeal, and 2 days before this final straw, we met with a local lender recommended by the Realtor. He went through all my papers, drew up a Good Faith Estimate, and basically told us all he needed was a letter explaining my 6 months of unemployment, a new appraisal and we should be able to close in 2 days' time. Oh, he had no trouble with Mr. Morris vs. Shiver Trading Co. vs Morris Communications. He googled it on the spot, and said it's no biggie.

And we closed on Friday, the last day of our vacation, with this local lender. BOA has cost me a vacation out of town when we were trying to close the week before.

So, BOA, you have a bunch of people not knowing the process, not communicating with one another. You basically have lost my business for life.
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Melissa: Ohhhh, Ling!!! Bless your heart!!! If it makes you feel any better, I understand how you feel! I went through almost the exact same thing when I recently refinanced my house. What should have taken a few weeks took several months. It was an absolute mess. And just like with you, the mortgage company wouldn't accept an online bank statement b/c the printout didn't have my bank account number on it (even though my name and address were!); they asked for pay stubs but then dragged their feet so long that they made me resubmit pay stubs again - not once, not twice, but THREE times; the loan officer quoted me a wrong estimate *and* told me if I accepted the estimate that he would pay off my credit card, but in the end when he couldn't do so, he waited to reveal that piece of information *after* I'd signed the papers, so now I'm locked into a piggy-back mortgage with exorbitant payments as well as the credit card debt... And on and on and on. They even screwed up the closing paper work so that in the middle of closing, we had to stop, have the company fax in the correct paperwork and then it was a week after *that* before I was able to close. Then it was 2 weeks after that -- and took a call from my lawyer -- before they deposited the money they owed me from the "cash back" into my bank account. It was unreal. I honestly considered going to the Better Business Bureau over this company. Their name is Eastern Residential Mortgage, by the way! Everyone, steer clear of them!! ... Anyway!! I'm so sorry about your fiasco!!! There's a special place in hell for those people! Bah!

Christina: Oh mY GOD Ling. I am so sorry you had to go through this with BOA, but from what friends of mine have gone through with them plus what I have read about them on various financial and credit-related forums, I can see you too have been a victim of the BIG CORPORATE MONSTER that is BOA. STAY AWAY PEOPLE.

Let me warn everybody about something else that can happen even IF you go with a local bank. I got my mortgage for the condo I own in North Myrtle Beach through a Columbia-based bank. Great experience. THEN three months later they made the "business decision" to sell their condo mortgage accounts to a huge corporate conglomerate, GMC Mortgage. This made me very unhappy but I didn't bother to complain. This is something smaller banks often do. And I have nothing really bad to say about GMAC except God help any of you if you deal with them and God forbid a check in the mail goes one day astray because of a holiday. GMAC's collections folks could summon the dead. They ought to call them to find Jimmy Hoffa.

But really, yes, Ling, it was the best thing to go with a local lender. Trust me I am only dealing with local banks and credit unions for the rest of my life. And I"M SORRY you had to go through this!!!!

Things nobody ever told you about house-buying Part 1

2006-07-21T20:55:00.000-05:00

If you're ever going to buy a house, you'll find there are plenty of sites out there soliciting your money (Lendingtree brokers, etc) but very few that offer real-life advice. Here are a few of my humble tips if you are so inclined to pay heed to:

1. Do not bank with the big dogs
Especially Bank of America. It has consolidated so many banks that now it cannot even keep track of what it's doing. Saving that $2000 in closing costs is not worth the angst and ill preparation they put you through. Suck up the closing costs and negotiate on them if at all possible.

2. Do not have a rookie loan officer service you
In Texas, instead of having an attorney to handle the closing, we have what they call a Title Company. The title officer told us he asked the rookie for a most fundamental request and the rookie had no idea what he's talking about.

3. Save. Save. Save.
At least up to 20% of the house you're going to buy. For instance, if you think you can afford up to a $140,000 house, you need at least $28,000 for a 30-year conventional loan. If you cannot afford 20%, then go with an 80-10-10 loan. That means you pay 10% in closing cost of THE HOUSE (not all the closing costs that include fees, tax, insurance etc), and you are left with 2 loans at 80% and 10%. The 80% loan is lower in interest for 30 years, and the 10% loan is higher in interest for 15 years. You will now have 2 mortgages - 80% and 10%. But this will save you money in terms of not paying PMI.

4. PMI
It's the obscene interest you pay the bank for lending you money since you don't have 20% of the house price towards closing costs. The bank will try to tell you it is easy to get out of but it is NOT. Especially after they sell your loan to a different company, they do not have to deal with you anymore. That different company will require you to jump through lots of hoops to clear that PMI

5. Discount Points
What a misnomer. It's no discount. It's a fee the bank charges you to relock a rate. Be sure when you apply for a pre-approval that you specify you don't want discount points and PMI.

These are the lessons we've learned so far in our home acquisitions. I'm sure there'll be more growing pains to come. If you have any advice for me, I'm all ears.

Georgia still on my mind

2006-06-24T20:49:00.000-05:00

I had the good fortune to return to Augusta for training last week. While I didn't get a chance to catch up with everybody, I did do a great deal of catching up with my ole friends from Augusta and Columbia, return to my old house that I'm renting, and got a trip down to Savannah and this time, really indulge in it.

The last time I was in Savannah was about 10 years ago with my good friend Sinclair. It was an impromptu trip to Jacksonville and we stopped in Savannah to see the squares, riverfront, and have lunch. It was also a trip where he introduced me to Monty Python Sings, when I got to pretend to be his subservient Asian mail-order bride to his friend (we fooled him good) and on the ride home, got soaked one side of me when his beat-up soft-top convertible on his gorgeous piece of antique gave slightly in a rainstorm. Oh, it was also a trip which my then-boyfriend got really pissed at me for taking a trip with another guy.
If it weren't so humid in the South, I will glad move back and be with y'all again. But I can't deprive the other states my temporary presence.

Anyway, for those of you who had not been to Savannah, here are pics: Beautiful Ole Savannah

Oh, and don't forget to click the other links below that read Savannah Misc., Savannah Architecture, Augusta 6/06

Another thing about the photo gallery for those not familiar with the interface: Click on the thumbnail to get the pic. Then click on the pic again to get a bigger pic.

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John Sinclair: Baby, if I could make my car spill on you again, I would. You were the perfect mail-order bride -- you even sang along to "I Like Chinese" with me. What can I say? We'll ALWAYS have Savannah.

Home on the ... canyon

2006-06-20T20:52:00.000-05:00

Hi all, we have moved AGAIN! This time, we bought a house. What an ordeal and one that's still ongoing.

DO NOT BANK WITH BANK OF AMERICA. Too much bureaucracy, and if you're unlucky like us, you'll get a freakin' rookie handling your business. AAARRRGGGHHH.

Here's our new address should you plan to send a housewarming gift or even a Christmas card. I'm joking. No gifts, please. We are getting rid of shit we don't need.

223 Chuckwagon Rd, Lubbock, TX 79404.

Oh, here's the pics, and video to come once this craziness is over. Pray for us.

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John Sinclair: Holy crap, that looks beautiful. How many bedrooms? You taking visitors?
But Ling ... WHAT ABOUT THE MOSQUITOS???

Me: Not too many mosquitoes cuz the breeze is almost omnipresent. We have enough sleeping areas. Besides, there's always the camp ground! yup, you're welcome to pitch a tent!
Be sure to come soon b4 we leave Texas in the dust in a few years.

Christina: That looks gorgeous, Ling! Congratulations!
and I couldn't agree more on Bank of America.

House News 2

2006-06-17T20:47:00.000-05:00

Remember the good news of the house we got? Well, we cancelled the contract. We are taking a risk by buying a house on the canyon, with a great view of the lake. It's one of the few water sights you'll get in this arid place.

Yah, it's messed up. Thing is, we could sign a contract and get the paperwork going right now. But I got locked into this other contract with that first realtor that's called a Buyer's Agent Agreement. NEVER EVER SIGN IT if you can help it.

When I first signed it, we thought that the first house is it. We were told this lake/canyon house is already sold. However, a runaway bride cancelled the contract and it's back up in the market.

Since I'm bound in this present Buyer's Agent Contract, which expires on June 30, the realtor of the canyon/lake house refused to go into any paperwork with me. (Note, she says it's HER listing. In other words, she doesn't wait to share her 6% commission. Greedy bastard. BTW, she lives in that area and thinks she is the grand po-bah of the listings there. Ego.)

Anyway, we decided to take our chances by taking her word that she will wait for us. Come July 1, which also is my b-day, we can get a contract going with her (that is IF SHE KEEPS HER WORD). Otherwise, it'll be a horrible b-day.

But is all lost? Not really, there are other houses shown by realtor 1 that appeal to us as well. So, we'll have a place to move into. But with time not being on our side, we may have to move stuff into storage, stay in an extended stay for a week, and move.

Housebuying is one difficult lesson of life.

Are you pregnant?

2006-06-13T20:43:00.000-05:00

This is a question, women or men, should NEVER EVER ask a gal.

And it is this exact question I was stumped with at work in an e-mail today.

The question came from a colleague who's about 50 something years old, old enough to know better, and being a woman at that.

I know I'm not the hottest shite around. I know I've packed on a few pounds since my Myrtle Beach, Wichita, and Augusta days.

The point is such a question serves no purpose except to get around the real question -- are you packing on pounds?

For the uninitiated, even if you genuinely suspect a person is pregnant, don't ask her. Wait for her to share the good news. Preggies love to gush about it.

I know you men must be rolling your eyes now and saying I'm making a big deal. That hardly matters. What matters is I'm more confused than hurt that she, having had so much more life experiences than me, should know better.

Another side item, I received several compliments today about my green dress and jacket at work. And her comment was "You have a flower up your butt." What gives!?!?!?!

Oh, one more thing about this lady. She introduced me to an intern the other day. And she could have left it at my name, dept, and what I do. Instead, she decided to add that "Ling is also sleeping with the online director."

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Patrick: Wow, talk about someone to steer clear of! Even I know you don't ask someone that kind of question, for the exact reason that there's always a chance that she's not. I mean, that should be as embarrassing for the person asking the question as the person being asked.

As for the other questions, maybe she's just one of those people who when they get to a certain age, they decide that conventional manners don't apply to them anymore?

Me: That's what Mark thought - that she fancies herself old enough to not adhere to social mores. But he wasn't as sympathetic as you. Thanks, Pat.

Melissa: Wow. Nice or not, there's such a thing as "tact", and this woman definitely doesn't have it. I'm so sorry! But you know what? It also sounds to me like she's jealous of you!!! From her actions, she seems very insecure and possibly a tad bit threatened by you. But that's *her* problem! Acting so childishly certainly isn't going to endear her to anyone! Baaahhhh! LOL! Ya know, let her play this out. I've noticed that most people don't enjoy being around women like this. So eventually, she's only going to ostracize herself and end up miserable if she keeps doing this! Hopefully she'll change her tune when she notices that people aren't responding to her!! ... Of course, at the same time, I'm not saying to sit back and not stick up for yourself either! Next time she introduces you as the person who's "sleeping with the online director," just grin and say, "Why yes ma'am, I am! I'm a very lucky girl! ... And I'm not sharing." ;-)

Me: You know, other girls said the same thing as you -- that she's jealous? Of what? My youth? I do a different job from her. I have to play nice cuz we still have to work together, and she still has to return a pair of pants I had her alter. grrrrr

Christina: Wow...this heifer has just been inducted into my All Time Hall of Fame of Rude Idiots in the Office. My God. The pregnant question was bad enough. Yep, that's hugely tactless. But the other stuff? Either she's jealous or so insecure that she's trying desperately to mask her insecurity with inappropriate humor! My advice? Engage only in office-required civilities with her, and if needed, use the clever remark ala what Melissa suggested to make her shut up.
Truly, however,I thought I'd met some of the all time no-tact heifers at The State. But this one beats 'em!

Jeremy: O M G. I think she was born without a filter. Either that, or she's off her meds.

In the nick of time

2006-06-12T20:42:00.000-05:00

We made an offer on a house and was accepted.

Surprisingly, we manged to find a house, with the help of an agent, over the weekend. We made the offer this Monday afternoon, and was accepted after the expected counteroffer.

And all in good time, too:

Our current landlord will be returning to our rental on July 22.

My in-laws (mom and 3 kids in tow) are coming to the Southwest for 2 weeks beginning July 14.

I'm going to training next week in Augusta.

And we are closing on July 13!!!!!

How close did we cut it?!?

There is a God. And the house is nice, too. It's in the neighborhood I want to be in - near a good supermarket, a park with tennis courts, pond, children's playground. And it has TREES!!!!!

Also, we believe property will be desired in the near future as there are lots of development coming up near it.

Oh, the floorplan is lovely, as well.

The process is a blur

2006-06-09T20:39:00.000-05:00

It has started again -- the ordeal of home purchase.

I've been through it once, and it is still an ordeal. Particularly so when it has to happen when I have a full-time job. Ah, the irony. Kinda got the money but no time. And the only one with great credit (can anyone beat 750?)

But it hasn't gotten clearer. I swear these loaners are nickle-and-diming us to the state of confusion, agony and possible thougths of separation! Evilllllllll

Just got to get it out of my system. That's what you guys are here for!

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It's a Good Thing

2006-06-03T20:33:00.000-05:00

I was asked to take donations via the phone lines for the Children's Miracle Network today. It's an event that's televised live sprinkled with national programming about the CMN.

It's interesting how some people are so enamoured by local TV newcast celebrities. Don't get me wrong. This veteran news team is professional and you got to admire them for thinking fast on their feet, and being so undistracted by all that's going on around them.

The event is enlightening. I only fielded two calls in 1 hour, and most donations only came in after viewers were courted by the hosts, and personal story of this local kid who appeared with his family. He was the victim of a teenager's driving. Poor thing, his face and eye were disfigured from the accident, and they had to mend the area by taking skin grafts.

Anyway, I did my good deed for the day, and it feels good.

Oh, I definitely don't have the face nor hair for TV. Next time, put moonface on the back row, PLEASE.

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Amy: You are such a good girl. And isn't Moonface a Chinese dish. I like mine with shrimp, extra spicy - no MSG!

And quite frankly Miss Ling, most TV news people suck ass. You know that and I know that. They are girls with pretty faces but often little else. Oh wait, they have good hair.

I have suffered through way too many of their "interviews" waiting to ask real questions to have much real respect for them.

Life Times

2006-06-01T20:32:00.001-05:00

Hard to believe ...

It's already halfway into 2006. Time to start saving for Christmas;

M's been in Lubbock a year and a month. I, 10 months;

I've been in this new job for a month;

Knowing what it's like when fatigue hit me an hour after coming home. Must be the waking up at 6 a.m. deal. Or is it old age?

Moved into this recent rental, our 2nd in a year. And we're told today that we need to move by beginning of July for the landlords are reclaiming their house;

Made lots of good friends here in Lubbock and on myspace;

Will be seeing my ole Augusta pals in late June (that's right, guys, you heard it here first);

Finally made it to San Antonio (pictures coming up soon in spotted.lubbockonline.com);

Going to DisneyWorld in September;

Contemplating buying a house here in Lubbock. Egads!

If you're sick, stay in and be sick ...

2006-05-21T20:29:00.001-05:00

especially if you value your work status and reputation.

An employee of M's called in sick on Monday (hmmm, being sick on the first and last day of a work week always rouses suspicion, Confucius said) and at the last minute, on top of that. Fine. What can you do? The way the U.S. work laws are set up, you don't question them, and there's no reason to bring in a doctor's order, unlike Singapore.The whole workforce dynamics is built on trust and accountability, which lend itself to horrible abuse of the system. On a side note, I say bring back the authoritarian, and none of that "I-Feel-You" Franklin Covey management psychology.

The day had to go on with or without this bloke, who unfortunately, is one of the better workers M has.

It so happened that was also the day that the WWE was going on, and at the last minute, we got the OK to go shoot pictures of the event and the fans. On our way there, M commented wouldn't it be funny if we catch said worker at the event. I found out that said worker is a fan. And I was more gleeful than M at the opportunity to catch him red-handed. You see, I have what experts call a revenge gene.

Alas, I didn't catch him with my lens.

Later that night, we returned home to process the picture. M stayed up all night to finish them. The next morning, he told me he thinks he spotted sick worker in the crowd shot inside the arena.
Sure enough, sick worker with the stomach flu is it in the pic.We recognized his shirt, his features, and being a golfer, was wearing a notable golf cap.
Before you knew it, word spread like wildfire in the office and everyone who knew him had a good chuckle, as I found out at a team meeting last Friday.
Now, what would you do if you found out you were caught?
Well, this bloke called in that morning and pronounced himself "still sick." Wow, the gall. We suspect he must be using his days off to conjure up excuses.

Come hump-week, and he showed up with a doctor's note. I find that a most uncommon practice in the States. Like I said earlier, there never was a requirement to do that, but his guilty conscience obviously was working OT to cover his lies. Not a real good coverup as that note was FAXED IN! Like M said, if only his workers were as diligent about their work as they were about other people's job and covering their lying tracks, he would have no issue.

His story went like this: he was really sick but since he had already spent that much money on his front-row seats, he couldn't possibly stay home. But he didn't have that great a time cuz he threw up the nachos at the person in front him.

Now, I've had stomach flu before. It's not pleasant and I couldn't go into the torrid details of the agony. Suffice it to say you better stay near a waste receptacle and not be eating nachos. Pedialyte and antibiotics made up your diet, baby.

So the advice is this, dear readers: stay home if you claim to be sick cuz you just don't want to come to work. Just don't leave the house. Murphy's law always works against you

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Bob: Why do you want Singapore style "guilty till proven innocent" brought to the US???

Lying with a doctor's certificate is still rampant in Singapore anyway!

Mark's colleague should have been more discreet! Explains why there are some characters who cover their faces with the newspaper or files when there are camera crews around Orchard road!

Anyway, I am also saving trees now. When Doctors ask me if I need an MC, I say, no need, I am self employed. So they save on their medical chits, but I get the sympathy of Doctors going "MAKE SURE you rest! You can't work if you don't get well!" Well, and YES, I do buy their expensive Anti-biotics. (That explains the courtesy)

Flipper update

2006-05-21T20:28:00.000-05:00

I happy to learn yesterday from an equally abused neighbor that Flipper is not racist, nor run over by a VW, nor anti-mutts. He's just off his rocker. Thanks, Flipper, for making our life experience in Lubbock a tad exciting!

Slamming bodies and almost-rabid fans

2006-05-16T20:26:00.001-05:00

I never thought the day would come when I would go to a WWE event. M dragged me to it (like he does for a lot of events) to photograph fans for the Web.

I didn't exactly kicked and screamed on my way there. But I was quite ticked off that I didn't have the foresight to dress appropriately (and I knew this was coming up. I just forgot when). So there I was in a suede skirt, sheath sleeveless top and a cotton casual jacket. Oh, and high heels! I was unfortunately, the most overdressed idiot in the crowd.

The "assignment" was easy enough. Each armed with a camera, we would be taking posed shots of the fans. The sight of those eager fans were enough to validate my purpose. These fans are traditionally the undercovered in our newspaper biz -- hispanics and a relatively low-brow "sport." And by far, they are the most fun to photograph in all my time spent asking people to pose for me. (Not fun when the stiffs give you a half-hearted "hmm".)
These fans came with their amateurly-made signs, fake gigantic belts, tacky T-shirts, and were the most willing to be photographed. It made my "job" a lot easier.
The biggest surprise of the night came when we were allowed to go into the arena and photograph a few fights.
In we went along the tunnel like we were hot shots (and we saw some wrestlers), and led to the "press area." It was essentially the floor in front of the USA network cameramen who were stationed on the rows of seats. Now, my photographic endeavor just got a little trickier. I have no where to sit but the "floorboards" at the first row of seats. And since I had the short lens, and M the long ones, my task was to shoot more pics of the fans. So there I was, sprawled so precariously on the floorboard or the floor, depending on the angle I needed to be, hoping that a stray camera will not expose my fragile state for all of wrestling fans at home.

I gave up after a while and decided to watch the show. While I still don't quite appreciate WWE, the spectacle and crowd made up for my lack of enthusiasm. It was such a giddy experience watching grown folks and young kids chanting and screaming. And those signs. Wow. K, you are so right about that. If I knew this was the legit thing and they were going to show it on TV, I might have made one myself. And fill it with all kinds of Singlish gibberish that only few of us would understand.